Bringing the Christmas Funk to the Iowa Rightosphere! Suckas!!!

Let’s try to get into the Christmas spirit here QCI-ders! CD offered his Christmas wishes… And the anonymous commenters over at Krusty are serving their egg nog with some vile. Wow. He shut it down, for probably the first time since he came back. As always, we don’t shut it down here. I think it’s because you actually know who’s writing this and I read my sitemeter. QCI is like Santa that way, we know who’s been naughty or nice. Anyways… enough of this garbage.

Reading all of that yesterday made me think, what could get everyone back in the spirit of the season on the blogs? “How about Christmas Mullet, G$?” You might be on to something there. Business on top and Christmas Cheer in the back. Sounds like a good idea. But then it hit me… let’s bring the funk. I mean, really use the space, you know? The idea spread like wild fire…

So I was making a few copies in the office when I ran into our mascot Barnstormer Billy. He said he was down, “G$, I can bring the funk.” You sure can William, you sure can. Then out of nowhere… Jared Allen texted me, and said “Sleeves optional dude, sleeves optional.” That’s Jared Speak, meaning he’s down. I know the code. It turns out, James Hetfield heard about what I was up to… he left a voice mail saying, “OHHHH YEEEAAAHHHHH… I am there, yeeaaahhhh… Off to never neverland!!!!” So I was feeling good about my chances of bringing some Christmas funk to the Iowa Rightosphere… suddenly… my cell phone was buzzing.

It was an unknown number. I usually don’t answer unknown numbers, but I’m glad I did. “Hello?” I answered. Then… it was like I heard a voice of an angel… “Hey baby, I heard you need some help, you know I can bring the funk.” I’m thinking… is this the Christmas Angel? So I asked, “Who is dis?” Then the voice of the angel replied, “It’s me, Elizabeth Shue (Hearts!). I’ll help you bring the funk, G$.” This is the part where I faint and black out.

So after a few hours later, I come to. I’m thinking… this was all a dream… so I head to Flanagan’s. It was slow for a while… then 4 big El Camino limos show up in Flanny’s parking lot. Out of 3 of the El Camino limos walks out Jared Allen, James Hetfield and Barnstormer Billy. (Billy has a limo? Huh?) Then this light comes out of the sky and shines on the final El Camino limo… it’s red… with flames… and Yosemite Sam mud flaps… then yea… the choir of angels from heaven appear… and Elizabeth Shue (Hearts!) comes out of that El Camino limo. After I picked up my jaw from the pavement… and wondered, “is there really 4 bad ass El Camino limos in Des Moines?” Elizabeth Shue (Hearts!) told me, “G$, you gotta focus baby… let’s bring some funk to this Rightosphere!” I’m not going to argue with her. I mean, it’s Elizabeth Shue (Hearts!) people!

So we all went back into Flanny’s and brought the Christmas Funk… check out the video below.
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