12/29/10

That Girl Named: Iowa Hawkeye Football

From time to time, I have explained Iowa Hawkeye Football as a relationship. Sure, no relationship is perfect. It takes some work. There are ups and downs. We’ve sure had some great times over the past few years… Like those nice little New Years Day dates... unexpected surprises like the catch in the Capital One bowl... The last two Michigan State games... The Ricky Stanzi Orange Bowl post game speech... Bowl wins... Magical bliss... good times.

*hearts*

Hawkeye Football usually goes about the same as that on again/off again girlfriend you have. It starts in the Winter... after the bowl game... we miss her. Sure... from now until the next Fall... we may flirt or even go out with the NFL Playoffs, or the upcoming Major League Baseball season... hell, we might even hook up with the Olympics to keep us occupied. But these gals are no Hawkeye Football... no way, no how.

The Spring Game comes along... You haven't seen her in a while. And booyah! Damn she looks good. REAL good. She's lost some weight. She's doing this new thing with her hair. And that black and gold outfit she's rockin'? Those one pair of jeans that make you go nuts. (humina humina humina)

But you keep it cool. You'll say hello... maybe grab a drink, but that's it. There's no need to get too excited, yet. You're not gonna call or anything... wouldn't want to sound desperate... she'll be back, right? There’s emptiness for most of the Summer. It's a long wait... Time makes the heart grow fonder so to speak.

The Big Ten previews start coming out late summer. Lindy's, Sporting News and Anthlon... all talking about how she is lookin' FINE. You go to the State Fair and pick up your Hawkeye Football Schedule Poster... you just know she's going to be back in your life. And things are going to be great again. Bam! Two weeks until that first game? You're back together... and it's better than the last year. You're heart goes pitter patter. Everything seems to be a little nicer... everything seems to be a little brighter. Iowa Hawkeye Football is your girl... and life is good.

During this preseason? You stopped at the jewelers in Pasedena. You were looking for a ring. A big ring. For some reason, you just felt that this was it. This was the time we were gonna settle down and be immortal for ever... every thing great and smelling rosy...

But this 2010 Iowa Hawkeye Football girl was a little more complicated than the past years. Expectations... dude, you were shopping for a damn ring! Yeah... this was as serious as a dry keg two hours before kick off at Kinnick. Yeah, that serious. For some reason, in the back of your head... you had high expectations... but we've all been here before... you just knew this year was going to be different… But something didn't smell right. Especially when her father got involved.

He's always has been suspect of us. Her father started putting these tailgating restrictions. All of those cops on Melrose. The parking lots at Kinnick weren't making you feel like you lived in the Hawkeye State, but a Police State. We should have known from the beginning that indeed, something was up... and it wasn't gonna end well.

Enter our girl... the 2010 Iowa Hawkeyes.

The season started off great. No problems. Good two dates in Iowa City. All is well. Great times. Then we took a trip with her to Tucson, Arizona...which seemed exotic for us. Things could get a little freaky, right? Like freaky nice. Then there was the whole time change thing and we were both cranky. Bad weekend. We probably said a few things to each other... at a bad time. But hey, that was just the time change and stuff. No problem, we can work this out.

The next week? Good times were had again. She wore throwbacks... because we're into that. Yeah man. It was nice. Then beating JoePa again?! *hearts* A win like that calls for a blissful night in the hot tub if you catch my drift. Beating Michigan? In Ann Arbor? Yeah... nothing could go wrong between us and our girl now, Hawkeye Football. Damn, she's the best girl, ever.

But... Here's where it gets a little rocky... or Bucky if you will. Freaking Wisconsin.

Yeah, she let them have the Bull. You know.... that trophy with the Bull on it. Yes... that hurt... but could you really be hurt about a trophy that was just made a few years ago? Nah. We'll forgive her. Turns out, Bucky was good this year... no Bull trophy could come between us... right? No problem. It's OK. We can forget about this one... Sure... we both said a few things we shouldn't have said. But we made up. Next weekend will be better, she promises.

Ole Sparty came to Iowa City. Yeah... she showed him the door. She's pretty cute when she gets angry and puts a beat down on the conference frontrunner... of the time. It's like when she crinkles her nose when's she's mad. So cute. That's why we love her. She was mad and everything was alright. Which made her mad in nice ways later if you know what I'm sayin’… Hey yo!

Then we took a little trip to Indiana. No problems, right?

Yeah, we stayed in Indianapolis. And yeah... OK, so we may have spent too much time at the Broad Ripple bars the night before. We were pretty cloudy in the morning. Missed the bus... but caught a cab to Bloomington just in time. We got on each others nerves, but that’s how it goes. We won. Things would get better if we just took a little get away to Chicago for the weekend, right? Yeah, that's the ticket. A nice little weekend in the Windy City. We'll go out, maybe take her shopping on Michigan Ave... maybe take in a Second City Show... you know... just for fun. A nice little leisurely trip to Chicago....

Sigh… Yeah, not good. This weekend in Chicago was supposed to the weekend where we make up... maybe we get on a bended knee. We'll get closer to Roses... LA... Become one...

Wrong.

She got all pissy about leaving the seat up in the hotel... lots of yelling... lectures on how I... of all people, I needed to grow up. How'd that go? Yeah... quiet trip back to Iowa from the Windy City. But... all is fair... Brutus was coming to town. How could we not get excited for a date like that, right? Yeah... maybe after a win like that we could make the ask.... forever. Well... that wasn't a good weekend for our girl, either.

We had a great time... it was intense... all of the stuff that keeps you interested in this girl... then... we must have said something wrong. With a 2:30 start... I'll admit, we probably had too much to drink before kick off... but, that never harmed our relationship before, right? Then... Awe dammit... pissed away... in more ways than one. Call us Popeye... because we just got owned by Brutus for our girl again.

Double sigh...

But one last date to make it all better, right? One more and we'll have our selves a nice little New Years getaway where it’s warm and nice.

We love Floyd of Rosedale. He's child to us if you will... One more date up North. Nothing wrong could happen... could it? On to the Twin Cities and at this new joint. They don't serve beer. So... we're gonna need a little help to get her in the mood. We're gonna be outside... and from past experiences all year... we know we're in trouble with our girl. We would fight, make up and do it all again. Just like every single game of the season in the past. We prepared for this. But in the Twin Cities, well... we had a fight. Not just a lovers spat... put the kind of fight that doesn't end well with you're on again/off again girlfriend that is Hawkeye Football. The kind of fight where things are said and she kicks you square in the nuts.

Yeah, not awesome.

Was it something we said? Listen, I know Brutus the Buckeye is a handsome fellow... but him? Goldie? Goldie the freaking Golden Gopher? You had to let him win?! Really? Did that make you feel better? You let them have the pig?!! The Pig?!! Has it gotten that bad between us?! I know it was cold up there and all of that stuff... and yes, we should have bought you that designer winter coat at the Mall of America on our night out... Yeah yeah yeah... I know, it was freezing... but... you had to let them have the pig? You started to face facts... you knew this break up might be... final.

We were officially fighting after that chilly day in Minne-no-place.

That's when we got a little defensive. How could you?! After all the things, the tailgate restrictions by your father... all of our ups and downs... and now you're going to expect us to forgive and forget... and go to some Phoenix suburb for a bowl game?!! This is how this relationship ends?

This fight carried on. Off field problems. Players in trouble. Heroes disgraced... It was like she was playing a sick game of making us hurt. Rumors… charges… The embarrassment… This might be the final straw. It could be over…

Fast forward to this past week. You saw her texts... Missed calls… Voice mails…

Hit ignore... and delete.

Don’t pick up, dude... do not pick up that phone.

No need to put yourself through this again. All you get is hurt. And we all might have had enough pain…

But the funny thing about this girl named Iowa Hawkeye Football… she was your first and only… and it usually… doesn’t take much to get you back. That’s why you didn’t want to pick up that phone…

All that was waiting was more hurt on the other side of the phone...

Then… It happened. Just one spark. All it takes is one spark, and this one was some Ozark hillybilly Mizzou fan’s Facebook status talking smack about our girl…

No one, I mean no one talks about our girl like that. No one.

On Iowa! Go Hawks! AND GAME ON!

You pick up the phone… you dial and don’t even let her get a word in, “Babe, it’s me again. Let's work this out. Put on that black and gold thing you wear that drives me nuts and I’ll be there in a minute to pick you up. We’re going to Tempe.”

All of those heartbreaking losses… forgotten. Off field garbage? Forgotten. Iowa Hawkeye Football is our girl. And are we not going let some toothless low rent Big 12 school mess with our girl, right? Hell no.

We lock arms and head to Arizona. We're together again. *birds chriping*

So we get there and all the chatter for the game builds up. The Hawks have no chance. Missouri is favored. Too many distractions… this isn’t going to end well. Then you remember why we love her. This stuff just makes her pissed… and remember, she gets really really cute when she gets pissed. "Bring it... Mizzzzzourahhhh," she says in that hot chick voice. *hearts*

It’s Game Time at the Insight Bowl. We're baaaaaaack! Man did she look good last night. The Hawkeyes came out on all cylinders. It was awesome! Where was this Big 12 North super power we were sold on? Mizzou ain’t got nothin’ our girl. Then… Hyde’s interception for 6? Are you serious?!! Oh yeah, man. Oh… yeah.

Then, being the drama queen she always is… the review of that pass? It was of course incomplete… but not you and us, Iowa Football… you complete us. And that’s why the hurting has started to begin…

The wait…

We have to wait until next Fall to see you again. I can hear Hawks fans say it, “But, but, but wait?! We just got back together?! You have to go?!” She does, man… She does…

Iowa Football will be back next year… and she’ll look as fine as she did last night.

So start the countdown fellas… I know that I, like many of you Hawkeye fans, are already counting the days until we’ll see our sweet sweet love again… Iowa Hawkeye Football.

12/26/10

CHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFS!!!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!

*tears of joy*

I always believe....


12/24/10

Epic Christmas

Christmas is frigging awesome. Seriously, it's the season that makes me come to grips with the fact that... Though I am 33 years old... I'm basically a big kid. Ain't it cool how this time of year does that to you? Yeah, I thought so.

Anyways... since I'm not gonna be standing in line at a store when Mass starts tonight (Grant speak for "I actually have all my shopping done") I figured... I'd do a random Christmas thoughts post as my little stocking stuffer to all of you loyal readers out there. We'll call this post of random... Epic Christmas...

CHRISTMAS TUNES - How awesome are Christmas tunes? I mean there are some terrible ones (insert "Christmas in Iowa" song here)... It's just straight up freaking awful. When I hear this song it makes me want to tell my buddy of mine to meet me in the backyard and whip 3 dozen snowballs at my junk. Yeah. Not a fan. But... nothing like when you hear someone belt out a good one. I'm not much for the Christmas Radio Station bit... just on the mere fact that you have to listen to the crap songs. What's my Holiday Mix Tape? Anything with Frank Sinatra, Charlie Brown Christmas, Boston Pops (basically anything with horns) and maybe Cheech and Chong. Oh and anything done by the Roots. Oh and that Beach Boys one. And yeah, I'm total sucker for the Churchy songs. You know... the ones sang right by the hot chick in your confirmation class... the ones that brings the tears in the pews. Crazy good. How freaking awesome are those? Freaking awesome. I mean these guys who were writing these songs like a hundred years ago had to be like, "Dudes, some day... peeps are gonna be bawling by the end of this one." I shared that idea with my sister, she said, "They probably were brought to tears composing them." Good point April.
TRADITIONS - No matter if its the ones your ancestors brought over on the boat... Something your family does... or even that Ugly Sweater party... Every one's got em. My favorite? Christmas Eve in Jewell. I grew up on the same block as the church. So here's how it goes down... 5:30 Mass at Good Shepherd... then anyone who's around comes over to my parent's house. Not just like family... but family friends, sometimes the priest... my Dad's buddies... high school pals (and now their kids). They show up after Mass or stop before they head to their church's services, have some cocktails... get fat on all of the epic things my Mom cooked up and just hang out. Which makes for just a great night of laughs and holiday cheer. One year, they thought Midnight Mass would be a decent change. Yeah... still had the party at my folks... but headed to Mass later. Which made the snow drift in front of the parish doors rival most snow drifts on college campuses on a Thursday night. Hey, like I said, we live on the same block... Have road beers and Christmas spirit, will travel.
EPIC FOOD - Dudes... Are. You. Serious! The best evar. I'm not much of a sweets guy... but I can't stop eating Christmas cookies. The best part of having like... 60 aunts... is that they are off the chain in the kitchen. Add to the fact that my family is involved in farming one way or another... yeah, just about any thing you can make with a pork product is served. Big ass Bell's Mill ham... meat trays... pigs in a balnket... And if it didn't come from a pig, they'll wrap it in bacon and drown it in a sauce. Yeah man. No one goes hungry.
SANTA CLAUS - Yes, there is a Santa Claus. No doubt about it. Oh and for you Santa haters out there. Recognize. I know its not a very Christmasy thing to say... but if you say there ain't no Santa... you get what you deserve, nothing.
SPEAKING OF SANTA... and turning into a big kid. So I was outside the mall the other day, you know... smoke break. And a lady with two big crates of candy canes was coming up to the door. She was struggling a little with the large cargo... so I helped load 'em in the mall. I asked, "Hey wait a minute... are these Santa's candy canes?" As my eyes got wide, she grinned back at me saying, "Yep, that's right. These are Santa's candy canes." Then I go, "Dude, that's awesome!" Candy canes were delivered to the big man and I went back to shopping. But I sure had a glow of being important. I, of all people, just got to help out THE Santa Claus. What can I say, I'm just a big kid.
SAYING MERRY CHRISTMAS - Yeah yeah yeah. I hear you. I'm not much for lecturing people that it's Jesus' epic birthday. I say Merry Christmas... You can say Happy Holidays, Happy Festivus, Happy Hanukkah... Happy Saturday... whatever you want. I won't be offended. I don't care. If its this time of year, I say Merry Christmas... Just like I say "Go Chiefs" or just plain "CHIEEEEEEEEFS" to anyone I see on a Sunday.
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS - Shopping... gets a little stressful, sometimes... doesn't it? Is this what he wants? Will she fit in this? Is he into Legos yet or will he choke on 'em? What age is appropriate for Barbie? Don't buy it dude, someone may have gotten it for you... These are the thoughts that come to my head and are asked to better shopping experts than I. Of which I know gets a little annoying at times for them... what am I to do? I'm notta shopping expert. Was asked the other day, "What was the best Christmas gift you ever got?" With out even flinching... An authentic sideline team issue Kansas City Chiefs winter jacket... just like Marty Schottenheimer wore on many of those playoff runs. I think I was like 12 or 13... maye older... when I got it. My Mom says I about hit the ceiling when I opened it... literally. That my friends was a bad ass jacket. It was like before stores had all the authentic stuff. It came directly from Kansas City. Man that was a great jacket. And to answer your question, yes. When no one was around... I'd put it on, wore an old pair of my Dad's glasses and paced around the house... pretending like I was Marty telling Derrick Thomas, "Good job, Derrick. Keep working that guy." Um yeah, I think that's the first time I've ever admitted that.
THE END OF A YEAR - Cool part, I think at least, is that whole reflect on the last year stuff. 2010? I'd say it was decent. Not bad, not bad at all. Big wins in November... The Chiefs win and they're in the playoffs... Decent health... (heavy on the decent)... We can do better too in 2011, don't you think? Of course.

Alright... I gotta start negotiating my way back to God's County. Mass is at 6:30. So I gotta split...

Before I load up my sleigh of presents and head north, I have a brief message to all of you loyal readers, friends, family, haters, stalkers, even Denver Bronco fans... and everyone in between. Back at Good Shepherd up in Jewell, Father Recker would always end his homily with this line that I always kind of digged. He's was longtime drama coach for a big catholic high school somewhere back in the day... and it showed during Mass. Crazy good stuff.

Here's his line and my wish for you all...

"To you and yours. May you have a very Happy, a very Holy... a very Merry Christmas."

12/14/10

QCI's 2012 Iowa Caucus List and Keys


"G$, you gotta list?"

C'mon son... everyone is doing it...

Man oh man, I love Christmas... and the Christmas party circuit! What a rockin' party over at 621 East 9th, am I right?! Great to see so many old friends, new friends, colleagues, acquaintances... and it was even great seeing the people I don't like!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just kidding. I roll like Rocky Balboa, I like just about everyone. Even you Monte Shaw.

Anyways, per usual, I've been talking to a lot of people since the big November victories. The subjects? Here they are...

What's next? How long are they keeping you on the pay roll? What are you thinking? Hear from anyone yet?

And of course...

Who do you like in 2012?

On the subject of 2012... lately the buzz I keep hearing on the street and reading in the blogs? That little list of 50 people in an article Tony Beaumont wrote a couple weeks back in the Des Moines Register.

Lists do funny things to people... especially in politics. Judging from the blogs and "on the street" chatter I'm hearing... Here are the 4 reactions I get:

1) Peeps who really don't care and don't have time to.
2) Folks who look like Rudy checking the Notre Dame dress list to see if they "get" to suit up on Saturday... because coach promised.
3) Egos who would like you to kiss their rings because they made the list.
4) The rest? They blow up like that movie producer did on CJ Craig on the West Wing... just because he dropped from #2 to #9 on the list of Hollywood's most important people.

Again, lists do funny things...

Hershel chimed in... then I saw a few others who were mostly pissed for not making the list... and/or all their buddies that got left off. Get over yourselves people.... and act like you been here before.

This prompted Tim Bowmount to write another list... Oh, and don't worry. Someone will get pissed again... or want to advocate for someone and something... and the DMR's political guy, Biff Toemont will have to write another list. (sigh...)

My take on all these lists? Yep. Everyone single one should be on there. All accomplished. All influential no matter how great or worthless you personally believe these people are. I'm as serious as a dry keg 2 hours until kick off when I said that. Are there some folks missing? Yes of course... there's always someone who didn't make Selection Sunday. It's OK... there's always the NIT... but enough of the really lame college basketball references...

You want the list? I'll give you the list... well, at least not the Excel Sheet. No way Homey Jomey from Wyoming. You all aren't that cool enough, sorry. And for some of you reading... that chick still thinks you're a creeper and you can't have her cell phone number. Sorry bro.

You're just gonna have to look 'em all up... and since you clearly have this computer thing called "the internets"... you have access to a little website called "Google." Cmon now, who hooks you up? Say it together friends, "G$ hooks us up."

At the urging of loyal readers... let's do this... And I'm sure you will think my list sucks... but hear me out. I break it down different than others... I hope you people in Story City are able to follow along....

MY STAFF AND CONSULTANT LIST

Here's who makes the cut...

1) Anyone who is from Iowa and who has been a staffer/advisor/consultant, at any level, on any campaign or official office in this state for the past 30 years. I know, you may think that's lame, but its true. And if you don't think so... You're drinking some one's or your own Kool Aid.
2) Out of staters who have spent time here. They learned how to say Nevada and Madrid... They've earned you honorary citizenship. We even like the way you talk funny. Never discount honorary Iowans
3) The ones you haven't heard about yet. I'm talking about the kid who comes from no where and gets more than 700 votes for a candidate down in Van Buren County on Caucus Night. Yeah... freakish good.

THE KEYS TO STAFFS AND CONSULTANTS:

1) You can assemble the best, most accomplished, most decorated political staffs in the history of campaigns for your Iowa Caucus staff. But if you don't have anything to sell (candidate)... you will end up with the Giants and Rangers in your World Series. If you don't get the reference (sigh), this is what it means. You can have the best team money can buy... the New York Yankees of politics... but if your candidate sucks and/or can't connect, you're screwed. Staffers and consultants don't win elections. Candidates and ideas do.
2) It doesn't matter if you've been involved since Reagan or just got the job out of college gig today... to put it simple... And I'll probably be the first to say it, you don't need "caucus experience." For real. You can take an entire day to teach a monkey about the Caucuses... and that monkey will get 10 new precinct leaders, tonight.

MY BIG NAME ENDORSEMENT LIST

Endorsements are pretty simple around here...

1) All current City, County, State and Federally elected officials
2) All former City, County, State and Federally elected officials
3) All former candidates who lost City, County, State and Federal elections
4) All heads of interest groups and their organizations... you name the association or concern... hook it up... on the list
5) Iowa Celebs... Movies stars, Athletes, Coaches or basically someone who has been on TV... once... yeah... we're huckleberries about this stuff... deal with it.
6) "That guys" and "that ladys"... You know... "That guy" who is the president of the Lions Club and serves as township fire chief... Or "that lady" who heads up the library board and is chair of the parks and recreation commission... they know everyone and are respected by everyone in their communities.

THE KEYS TO BIG NAME ENDORSEMENTS

1) Just because so and so is with that candidate doesn't mean instant votes. (that's goes for everyone on this list) There is only one organization that can produce 3,000 solid votes in Iowa. They reside on the Southside of Des Moines and are on the other side of the aisle. Do. Not. Let. Anyone. Tell. You. Different.
2) Elected officials are nice and all... but don't count on them doing a whole hell of a lot. Yes, there are exceptions to the rules... A lot of it has to do with their elected duties is why they can't do so much. That whole time thinger. For real... I'm just saying and the honest ones will tell you the same exact thing.

MY GRASSROOTS LIST

Oh yeah... the ones who give their time for free. The most important list there is on this post...

1) Past and present State Party Leaders (chairs, SCC, ect)... all of them
2) Past and present County Party Leaders (chairs, central committees, delegates, IFRW, ect)
3) Leadership of every single past campaign in the past 20 years (chairs, coalitions, precinct leaders, all of them)
4) Past straw poll and caucus attendees for the past four caucuses
5) Volunteers of every campaign in the state of Iowa for the past 20 years. Yes, all of them. Even those crappy campaigns too... all campaigns have great volunteers. Just like all dogs go to heaven.
6) The new activists who join the cause... this year.
7) And everyone else in between.

THE KEYS TO THE VOLUNTEER LIST

I'll put it simple here for you. If you don't know the keys to every single one of these grassroots volunteer lists... Step aside friend. Let the big kids handle this.

CONCLUSION?

Did I leave anyone off? Oh yeah I did. Some on purpose and some not. Why? Call me John Madden... this is the list that matters. If you can put this list together... call them. Get them on board.... maybe 25%... you too can win the Iowa Caucus.

Yes, I can already hear you typing, "G$!!!!! WHY DID YOU MENTION THIS OR NAMES!!!!" Calm down son... When I say, anyone under the above descriptions.... this is what I mean. All of them. And yes, I'll agree with you, as lame as all this sounds. You really do need Iowans from all of the described lists to win.

And if that is lame to you... or think this is way too simplified. I have a great bridge on Loucst Street I want to sell you. I'll give you a good price on it.

Stay thirsty my friends.

12/11/10

Driving with Bob Feller...

I was bummed to hear that the legendary Bob Feller was moved to hospice the other day. And yes... maybe I'm "going Iowan on you"... but this dude is awesome.

We all know his story. Amazing arm... he probably could pierce brick walls with his pitches. But on top of all the strike outs, no hitters and all the things that make him the epic hall of famer that he is... You baseball historians also know that left the game for four seasons during arguably the peak of his career. The Heater from Van Meter signed up for the Navy THE DAY after Pearl Harbor. Becoming the first Major League player to sign up and fight. Talk about bad ass. Over to you Ricky Stanzi. After his decorated stint in the Navy, he came back to doing what he did best... dominating the mound.

Anyways... anytime I hear the name Bob Feller... I'm always reminded of one my early and favorite experiences on the campaign trail.

I was a young college punk when I joined John Kasich for President in 1999. (yes, for you people smirking at home, John Kasich briefly ran for president). Rapid Robert endorsed Kasich early and did appearances for the campaign. It was mid summer and we had a tour for Kasich as we were building up our Ames Straw Poll efforts... and Bob Feller was going to tag along.

A week before our tour, Kasich dropped out of the race and endorsed George W. Bush. But we had already sent the postcards for all of the house parties. Our supporters were bummed John decided to get out of the race, but still wanted host John at their homes. So the campaign decided to make it a farewell tour... And Bob was still willing to tag along.

The day before the last day of the tour we were up in Humboldt County. I was a make shift advance man for the day. Just lending in on what needed to be done. The schedule was an event in Dakota City and end up in Des Moines for a staff dinner with John and Bob at the Iowa Beef Steakhouse on Euclid (great joint if you've never been).

The event up north ended and this is when I was told, "You're going to drive Mr. Feller back to Des Moines." Insert instant feeling of awesome. Good thing I cleaned my car the night before! After being given my instructions... Mr Feller and I jumped in my red Cutlass Supreme (great car) we were on our way. Was told Bob might wanna stop and check out some farm machinery along the way, which was fine. We had all afternoon to get back to Des Moines. (awesome sidenote, you can take the farm kid out of Iowa... but never the Iowa out of the farm kid, right?)

So we were on the road.

Bob was reading the newspaper and I'm just kind of freaking out... in a good way. For the first 15 minutes of the trip, we didn't talk much. I didn't think he would want some young punk political hack being all chatty. Which is when I started saying in my head, "DUDE, you have BOB FREAKING FELLER in your car! When are you ever going to be doing this again?!"

So I started the small talk. And then... we started chatting it up. "Hey Mr. Feller, you knew Babe Ruth, didn't you?" "George?" Feller smiled. "Yep, good man." And it was on. You name the legend? He knew him and had a story. I started rattling all of them off.

"Hey Mr. Feller, Ty Cobb. Everyone says he was a jerk, is that true." He smiled again. "Well, I got along with him. He was a great player."

"Joe DiMaggio, you knew him too?" Remember, Joltin' Joe had just passed away in the spring of that year. He again replied with a smile, "Joe and I were great friends. We went out to dinner all the time if we were in New York or they were in Cleveland."

The great thing about guys like Bob Feller, they love telling stories... and his are off the charts.

"So, when you went out for dinner, did you meet Marilyn Monroe?" "Yes, when they were married, on many occasions."

While I soaked up in my brush with greatness road trip with Bob... I couldn't stop thinking, "Dude, you are in the car. With a legend. And you are having a conversation about Marilyn Monroe. This is epic before things became epic." I kept asking, he kept answering. I'll never forget that trip. We made it back to Des Moines, scored steaks on the Eastside, such a good day. A great freaking day.

The last day of the Kasich-Feller tour ended at my parents' house up in Jewell. We had a great crowd... not only for John and Bob... but the Nadas were going to play in the backyard. You see, we had them signed to play the Straw Poll for Kasich... and since that wasn't going to happen... they played to end the tour.

It was you know, a typical event up in God's Country, Iowa. A politician... pork burgers... a living legend signing baseballs... a good band playing. No big whoop. (smirk)

I'll never forget the way Feller was with everyone on that day and on that tour. Always gracious. Always took a picture when asked. My Grandpa scored a click. I think he was pretty excited. That picture of him and Bob is still up on my Grandma's fridge. Not only was he meeting a great baseball hero of his... but a fellow Navy guy who served in World War II. It was pretty cool.

Anyways... anytime I hear Bob Feller's name... It takes me back to our little road trip. And again, I'll never forget it.

Here's to you Mr. Feller. I hope you're spending your time being comfortable. You're one of the greatest people I've met. Warm wishes and thoughts to you, your family and friends.

11/16/10

QCI Investigates: The Establishment

Sometimes we do have some breaking news and journalistic value for all of you. Today, the QCI Newsroom has obtained a copy of a Blackberry Messenger or "BBM" conversation from the Establishment. (insert spooky music here) Yes, THE Establishment. The ones who run, everything.

The numerous sources we have followed up with... all confirm that this is really how everything is decided.

Here's the chilling BBM transcript...

Waspy Smithfield – They really need to know who’s in charge around here.
Tanner Jones – Agreed. They will crawl back for our help.
Waspy Smithfield – Hey, do you want to meet in the smoke filled back room later today?
Tanner Jones - Hmmm… Maybe. I have a meeting at the UN. Then I have to see if my black helicopter is fixed.
Tanner Jones – So upsetting when it breaks down. It’s such a chore.
Waspy Smithfield – I know, right?! If people knew how hard it was to be the establishment, they would understand.
Tanner Jones – Totally. It’s tough being important.
Waspy Smithfield – That’s OK, we can meet tomorrow. I need to finalize my plans to start the next war for oil.
Tanner Jones – Did you get your Skull and Bones Reunion invite in the mail?
Tanner Jones – Which blazer are you going to wear? Blue or blue?
Waspy Smithfield – Yes, of course. I’m going with blue.
Waspy Smithfield – I’m also going to make a motion we change the secret handshake to something else. You know… everyone knows it’s a handshake and all.
Tanner Jones – That’s terrific. But, I for one am not much for change. Call me elitist and all.
Waspy Smithfield – You damn country clubber!
Tanner Jones – LOL! Good one!
Tanner Jones – Not to be on your ass about it, but are you done with the list of candidates we are going to throw our money behind yet?
Waspy Smithfield – I’m a little hung up with on how to start this war. But I did finish the list of who’s allowed to run.
Tanner Jones – Delicious. You know you can’t just throw these primaries overnight. These things take a little time.
Tanner Jones – Hang on a minute. Karl Rove is calling me.
Waspy Smithfield – Perfect. Tell him “all golden girls and boys fly by the seat of their swords”… He’ll know what that means.
Tanner Jones – Message delivered.
Waspy Smithfield – Ruling the world is fun.
Tanner Jones – It so is. SOMEONE has to do the thinking around here.
Waspy Smithfield – *thumbs up*


Trust no one, loyal readers. Trust no one.

11/15/10

Chiefs, Judges, "Leadership", Kinky and Playground Brawls...



A few things for you to chirp about in the comment section.... AND one of the best songs and videos I have seen/heard in a long long while... here's your quick hits...

THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS - I'll just say it. It was like watching monkeys fornicating with a football on Sunday. Don't worry, all sharp objects have been taken away from my place.

CULVER AND THE JUDGES - Hmmm... sounds like an ironic band name. So the news today is Culver saying he'd appoint 'em if they came up with names. Hasn't this guy found his new house in Northern Virginia yet? Cmon son.

PRESS RELEASES CAN MAKE A FUNNY - Yea, saw that the IDP Chair said this of Gronstal and McCarthy on their elections to leadership:

“Senator Gronstal and Representative McCarthy are both steadfast supporters of this state and committed to moving it forward by creating quality jobs and protecting the progress that has made Iowa a national leader in so many areas. Democrats across the state appreciate their work on behalf of all Iowans and willingness to stand up for what is right.”

Um, that's why a good amount of Iowans threw out... a good chunk of that... leadership. #justsayin

KINKY ON POTUS 43 - Yeah... in case you missed this... Kinky Friedman has a good bit on the former President and the current President.

AND FINALLY... Dudes... been loving me some Black Keys for a long time. Not only is this song epic enough to crank loud so you and you palls can head nod... but the video is quite humorous... Stay thirsty my friends...

11/13/10

Weekend Update....






OK... so for a first time in a long team here at the ole QCI Headquarters, we enjoyed a lazy day of football... tweets... and chirping about. So que the music. Let's get to the awesome that is the QCI Weekend Update....

THE IOWA HAWKEYES - If I refer to the Hawkeyes as that "on again off again chick you break up with, yet hook up again the very next weekend"... then this was one of those disaster dates. The kind that ends up with you getting kicked in the nads. Yeah. That great. I don't think I've seen this many cuss word texted to my phone within in 5 minutes of the ending of this disaster. I believe I saw a few new ones... of which I won't list any them. Because, we try to keep this blog at least PG13. Someone get me and all the other Iowa fans some ice packets for our collective junk.

POLITICAL GOSSIP AT THE SPEED OF TWITTER - So word in Twittersburgh today was that State Senator Wally Horn from out in Eastern Iowa is gonna run for Majority Leader. That would end the term of Governor Mike Gronstal for sure. After that thing got retweeted say, 20 times, five of loyal QCI-ders alerted us that he's running for Assistant Leader. Which one is it then? Does it rally matter? Awe yes... to paraphrase Rick James, Twitter is a hell of a drug.

IOWA NATIONAL GUARD TAKES CARE OF BIDNESS - So was listening to this story over the news breaks today during football... Turns out some of the good guys were out on a mission in Afghanistan when the bad guys showed up. it was great to hear that the Iowa Guard "took care of the situation". No one harmed... except the ones who needed to be harmed. And they took into custody one of the Taliban. Keep kicking ass and get home safe soon, dear heroes.

THE ELECTION IS OVER, RIGHT? Hey, I don't like Leonard Boswell as much as the next guy... but I think you can cancel the "retire Boswell" Facebook ads.

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION - Speaking of these Book of Faces you speak of. How about giving a "like" to the World's Crappiest Blog? Click here... spread some love and make your news feed full of the awesome.

AND FINALLY... Your weekend tunes... Stay thirsty friends....

11/12/10

Ride the Lightning Round

Hmmmmmm... new feature? Don't get too excited dearest loyal readers. Well... This idea stems out of a couple conversations I have had the past few days.

I don't know why people ask me questions about things or particular subjects... but I'm a chatty type of kid, so it's all good.

So I figure, I'd throw out a bunch of subjects... do my quick take on it and call it close. If you got any things you want to ad to the next "Ride the Lightning Round" (super clever name inserting Metallica in to this feature, if you ask me) then email me up.... OK... let's do this.

The Iowa Caucuses - Yeah... that didn't take too long to start, didn't it? First debate set by NBC... and the candidates are planning trips to the state... its not even Thanksgiving yet. Even. Better.
The Kansas City Chiefs - Yes. The Oakland loss still stings. But effff 'em. It's Denver Week. Time to put a whoopin on the methheads ERR Broncos.
Veterans Day and Birthdays - Be honest, some of you wouldn't have thought much about Veteran's Day... or your former 5th grade basketball team mate's birthday for that matter... if you weren't on Facebook.
Facebook Follow Up - Also, are you less patriotic because you didn't say anything in your Facebook status about Veteran's Day? Think about that one.
Iowa Family Policy Center - Yeah. I know, right? But, when you first heard about it.... were you really surprised? C'mon son.
Meghan McCain - Who is Meghan McCain and why should I care what she has to say? Seriously, never heard of her. Did I miss something?
Iowa Hawkeyes - Effff... why don't I ever have a good feeling about playing Northwestern? I mean, it's effing Northwestern.
Boston Celtics - Bwahahahahahahahaha! Or as loyal reader Yoda said, "Miami Heat? More like the Miami Clowns Machine!" Bwahahahahahaha! Celtics!
The Tokyo Sandblaster - I can't even try to imagine what that means. Although, my first thought is... painful, slopped up with a side of hideous?
Remember November 2 - Who could forget? OK... I got it. We won. Let's change some of those avatars out there people. It's kind of lame-ish.
The Des Moines Register - Not sure what's more annoying... their political leanings or those uber huge take over your screen freeze your computer ads on the main page of their website.
Snow - No. I'm not ready for it. I speak for many. I have authority here. We are not read. Please no.
New Book Releases - So many books to get... too close to Christmas-ish. But, the new Denis Leary looks so awesome... might have to pull the trigger when it comes out.
Iowa State Senate - Noice. Although, I think its laughable how tough Former Governor Mike Gronstal is talking. Better yet, keep talking, sir.
Epic Book - Awe crap... get this. I hvae changed the format 4 times now. But, its still gonna rule. Maybe I'll just push out pieces at a time. Release it... the Book Tour the hell out of it. Yessssssssssssss!
Iowa State House - Two words, Charlie effing Smithson, dude. (Kuwait a minute)... I have to admit, had to have this one explained to me. But after that, yeah man, how awesome is that?
You are always on your phone - Hang on a minute. I need to reply to this. It will just take another minute.
New Tunes? So freaking good. Danielle Ate The Sandwich. Move over Elizabeth Shue? Could there be a new American Sweetheart? Hmmm... for real, she belts out epic stuff. YouTube it.
Elizabeth Shue? She is America's Sweetheart, always will be. I mean... well... if you don't believe so... why don't you go back where you came from Mao Zedong.
Good Eats? How have I been in the DeMo this long and NEVER gone to Little John's Burgers on 2nd north of Euclid? Crazy good.
FourSquare - No I did not check in here... or there... or anywhere... You can keep all those FourSquare badges for you Girl Scout sash, pal... Yeah... not a fan.

OK... that was easy enough. More to come... stay thirsty my friends.

11/11/10

Corkage Fee?


A little break from the normal stuff today... So let's turn to an issue you all can help me figure out.

OK, so call me late to the table on this. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm as cultured as my buddies tell me that I'm not really that cultured. As a loyal reader and friend told me, "Just because you know the difference between a piano and harpsichord, don't make you cultured, dude." There is some truth to that... Oh... to answer that bit for you people in Story City, it's the tones each make... basically.

Also... since I'm admitting things. I'm not much of a going out for dinner type. I know it's weird and I'm weird. I'm just not. Don' t get me wrong, I loves me some epic food, dishes and all that cheese whiz... but "dinner" not so much. I can hear the ladies reading now... wow, that's an impressive man right here.

*shrugs shoulders with a smirk*

But hear me out my fine feathered friends. Call it growing up-ish? But, I'm starting to dig or at least try a decent "dinner" or two at some foo foo joints. Yes, in G$-speak, a foo foo joints are joints that include a wine list. Speaking of this said wine list/menu thinger.... there was this whole thing on there that confused me...

"Corkage fee."

This term instantly sent shock waves to my head.

So much shock, I belted out a Scooby Doo like "Huh?"

The head guy in the mission control center in my brain says, "What the hell is a corkage fee?! Dudes?! I need some answers!" His deputy commander approaches the head guy's desk, "Could it be that you have to pay for them to uncork the wine, sir?" Head guy goes, "That's just ridiculous! Who would do that or pay for that?!!" The deputy guy whimpers, "Sorry, sir... Our experience with wine and this new 'going out to dinner' order handed out by the higher ups is... well... we're a little over our heads, sir." The head guy demands, "I need answers, dammit!"

Of which, being the moron that I am at times, I say a loud, "I need answers, dammit!" That got greeted with blank stares at the dinner table... and waiter. Coming to my senses... I follow up with a, "Alright, I'm no wino, could you tell me what a corkage fee is?"

Dudes, have you heard of this? So like... if you bring in your own wine to some restaurants... you can... you just have to pay a corkage fee. And some nights? They wave the fee! How freaking cool is that? This is like when bring your own beer to some strip club on the north side of town. OK, maybe not that extreme... and more clothes on...

But wait... Hold the phone.

Let me get this straight.

So, this corkage fee... you can bring in your own grape. But no beer? Dudes. Why is there no "pop top fee"?

This... is kind of outrageous.

So wine people can be all cool and stuff... pay their corkage fee... so they can bring in their Boone's Farm to sip while eating their croissant crepes or whatever the hell you eat with wine... but I can't bring in a case of Milwaukee's Best Light to slam while I'm killing 5 pounds of chicken wings? This... is crazy.

*disbelief look on my face with a side of outrage*

Yeah man. This is so bootleg. Peeps can can be all lay de freaking dah french-like... but Bif and the fellas can walk in with their finest ice cold Busch heavies? This is America, dudes. And this don't seem American to me.

Don't send me hate mail now... I know what you're gonna say.

"G$, you're kind of crazy. Nice, but nuts, dude."

Sigh...

Maybe those delicious Milwaukee Best Lights just belong... in some of the best places on Earth. Like in nice heated garages in Jewell... enjoyed with fried foods... with good jokes... with good tunes... with good pals... and not in foo foo joints and their "corkage fees".

Oh lay dee dah Pepe Le Pew... Maybe I'll just stick to the garage.

11/10/10

Tweet it like you mean it....



Is this how politics and social media works out sometimes? Hmmm… maybe.

Here’s how a little text messaging conversation went down with a pal of mine from DC. For some reason this makes me laugh. Probably because… most hacks are guilty of it. I can smell my own. Enjoy….


---

MY PAL: hey, give a little retweet love to my last tweet, yo.

ME: Oh. Nice nice. Astroturf much?

MY PAL: f*ck u

ME: Bwahahahahahahahaha

MY PAL: help a bro out dogg

ME: OK, I got you man. Tweet tweet Birdbrain.

MY PAL: u suck, but still the man. Thx.

ME: Astroturf!

MY PAL: shut it wise ass

ME: Youre welcome.

---

And… awe yes… with friends like these, who need enemies?

Just another bizarrely lived moment in my World.

Vote or Trash

"Those damn kids Barthy! Those Goddamn kids!"


You're picture of the day courtesy of a loyal QCI reader's Facebook album. For some reason I believe this picture is amazing.

It came with the caption...

"Even the street punks get political in Iowa."


Enjoy.

11/8/10

Question Time... Discuss...


Yes... I know. We are posting more here. You're get a little excited. I know this. I can feel it. I'm serious, we have tons of stuff coming your way. More post-election stuff... I know... kind of stretching it out it bit... (that's what she said) Here's some quick hits for you in case you feel frisky and wanna chirp in the comment section for once... OK... go!

- Efff efff efff efff!!! The Chiefs lose to the Raidahzzzz... not fun. Not fun at all... Damn you Sea Bass!

- Iowa State/Nebraska... seriously, I kick the field goal. Guts are guts... but, I kick to live another day... Seriously.

- Jeez, the Cowboys are goats. Wow.

- So how much are we spending to send POTUS to India?

- Per today's Krusty... hope delusional is Culver?

- Follow up... when did the DMR get all biased and things? (smirk)

- House and Senate Rs meet up today. Congrats to the new leaders!

- Mustache or no mustache? Got mixed reviews.... but turns out some of you love yourselves a lip sweater on my mug.

OK... discuss... and enjoy this awesome Soundgarden vid that will make you rock out with your caucus out. Stay thirsty my friends and use the comment section.

11/4/10

In case you are wondering...

....There are only 458 days until the Iowa Caucuses.

Here's a little video of somebody's historic victory in 2000... maybe you heard of him...



TOO SOON?!!!!!

Hell to the no. This is Iowa...

Who's your pick? Discuss in the comment section...

Yard Signs win Elections...

BREAKING... This just in... We have more conclusive data on why Republicans did so well on Tuesday... Yard Signs... Yard Signs won this election... in a big big way.

Our friends over at Rizzo Tees has the pic that closed the deal for the GOP this midterm election. After seeing this... we can see why....


11/3/10

You never know what you're gonna see in Webster City...

OK... totally forgot to post this awesomeness for you Saturday during some doorknocking freedom fighting.... wait... I think I was having tech issues... Anyways... if you missed the Tweet from Mr. Clean aka the Birdman aka Wes-I-Am... here it is.

Didn't know Louie Vuitton did SUVs? Only in Webster City...

Enjoy....



The Morning After...

Hey hey hey!!!! What an awesome night! Numerous staffers and volunteers are sleeping it off right now… probably dreaming of a greasy cheeseburger to kill off the upcoming hangover. But not here at QCI… we’re up and at ‘em… Cmon son, we’re legit members of the media! Yes, I can hear you saying it now... "Child please."

Tons and tons of stuff for you this morning… in a very random order.

NATIONAL STUFF – Caught a glimpse of the national map for US House late last night. Looks…. Really nice.
KASICH! Woot! So awesome to see the guy who inspired me to get into this whole damn thing is the new Governor-Elect. Freaking awesome.
THAT MY FRIENDS WAS AN ASS WHOOPIN’ – Talking about Branstad. Sing it friends… “I… got a feel-in’… Terry is back in Terrace Hill!” Where was this Culver momentum Kathie Obradovich? For real... any report who bought this Culver momentum stuff should be ashamed they even printed it. Seriously.
BRANSTACHE NO LONGER – Yeah… totally grew a Branstache for the final push… At the party last night, a volunteer asked me, “Would you like a Branstad sticker?” Then I’m like… “Dude, um, I have a stache… represent.” Sadly… shaved it off this morning… it had a good run. I have more notes on this… stay thirsty on this one.
GOD’S COUNTRY IS SOUTH HIGH RED - *happy happy dance* Good to see Southern Hamilton County is gonna be represented by the good guys! Congrats to Stew Iverson, Rob Bacon and Dave Deyoe!
EAST POLK COUNTY – Something that should be a developing story… how did Funk get beat that bad… something doesn’t smell right.
STATE HOUSE – Speaking of ass whoopins… When a wave hits… this happens. But I’ll argue that the House Rs did a methodical job…. Good issues… Great candidates… that’s how you debate.
CONGRESSIONALS – Iowa is a funny place sometimes. While they’ll switch somethings… they’ll keep some the same. Proud of MMM and Zaun running good races… honorably. Hold on to your hats with Lange… that one ain’t done yet.
STATE SENATE – Some thought 25-25 was far fetched? Um… still 2 races being hashed out. Would be great to get to 24… Somewhere there are ashtrays flying in Gronstal’s hotel room.
OUR PREDICTIONS – QCI is the king of media!! *uber smirk* Hahaha…. We called 3… nah 5 races early yesterday… but we Schultz right. Right if you mean it was on everyone else’s brackets too.

Also… thanks for all the shout outs at the Victory shindig… thanks for reading and thanks for hooking us up with the most hits since I got my car stolen the day after the ’08 election… you people do read this!

Also… in case you’re concerned… car didn’t get stolen this morning… it is a new day in Iowa…. More to come… Stay thirsty… and we bust out this song to all the winners last night…

11/2/10

LIVE TWEET TIME




Alright... we are going mobile... That means we be live tweeting this bidness.


You can follow me here in Twittersburgh or just keep it here and hit refresh.... My tweetness is one the right hand of this as the handy dandy graphic above just showed you.


Tweet tweet!

Chet Culver is about to be a one term governor...


You want my prediction for Governor?


Worst kept secret out there.... Here it is...


Chet Culver is on his way to being a one term Governor. End. Of. Story.


There is no momentum... zero. It is just not happening. The Culver brass and Iowa Democrat mouth pieces can talk until they are blue in the face. It's over.


It has been over for a long time.


My question is what time is Chet Culver going to call Terry Branstad to concede? The way these guys have been talking for the past week... I'd put money if Culver is down 13 points... he still thinks he can get a recount win.

Statewides...


Statewides...


The way things are going today... the wave we are seeing... I say we have chances everywhere... especially with our Statewides.


The one where I think thebest shot tonight, is the one that most schools of thought are going... Schultz has the best chance of the group.


Not because of massive media buys or any of that.... just on the fact that Mike Mauro isn't very well know outside of Polk County. Sure, the list he has of Auditors... ain't too shabby... but still. There was a reason why Schultz is doing so well numbers wise.


But, a lot is happening today... I'm not counting any of our candidates out today.


Talking Governor's race here in a little bit... Stay thirsty friends...

QCI Facebook Status of the Day


Here's some thing for a little that will represent our QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY....


If you need any clue on how things are going.... here's Chad Airhart's (county treas candidate) status moments ago...


"Jodi just voted as number 885 in our precinct, with about 100 in line still to vote. In 2006 our precinct had a total of 765 voters. High turnout on election day is always good for Republicans. Especially in a Republican County like Dallas. Still 3 hours and 45 minutes to vote. Get out there people. Vote, Vote, Vote!"


Um... it's only 5:20pm.... and people are just on their way home.


Wow.....

Congressional predictions and notes.....


Let's start cranking out some predictions... that are somewhat serious....


Congressionals...


Oh but wait... we have some breaking news from the World's Crappiest newsroom... Throw up the fancy lettering...


* * * BREAKING NEWS * * *


Just handed to me by a QCI intern... QCI is ready to call 2 more races...


With ZERO precincts reporting... and I want to be clear about this... ZERO precincts reporting... We are ready to call the races for Congress in the 4th and 5th Districts...


Tom Latham and Steve King have won re-election. So there you go.


Now back to you regularly scheduled QCI post....


OK, here you go.... Predicitions in places where there is action.


1st District - Gonna be lame and say toss up... If Braley goes down tonight... Um, the other side is screwed.


2nd District - Miller-Meeks is gonna be your first woman member of Congress. I think its just there. If you are looking at turn out numbers right now? Heavy, heavy in Linn.... Hearing, like everywhere else in the state, where we need big turn outs... and we're getting them. Miller-Meeks gets the upset tonight... who would have thunk it, right? Well, if you have seen how hard she has worked... you know.
Also... peeps out in the 2nd are telling me that Loebsack doesn't even seem like he wants to keep his seat. A Democrat source close to QCI told us that it's like... if he loses... it's not a big deal to him. Interesting.


3rd District - Sure the numbers that have came out of this one... haven't been the best. But again... if you are looking a turnout numbers as we speak... look at Polk County and the Supervisor Districts... Heavy in Bob Brownell's and EJ Giovanetti's... take note of EJ's... this is Brad's backyard.


Turn out is low on the Southside, in John Mauro's area... The Eastside is seeing some huge turnouts... because they got the Funk.


But here's the thing where I wouldn't shut the door on Zaun's chances... Look at Connelly's district. Brad is going to get a lot of these people. This is the Northside... Beaverdale... Irish Catholic... Dowling kids... These are Brad's peeps that no one is seeing... and they are turning out. Big time.


Also... if Branstad wins Polk County... we have a ballgame.


More stuff on the way... Stay thirsty.

Party, Turnout and Judges...


As the phones continue to burn... Pizza continues to be nibbled on out in Urbandale... ANd we are still proving to be your favorite source for news and maybe wasting your time... heavy on the maybe.


HY-VEE CONFERENCE CENTER - Not HyVee Hall downtown... the one out in West Des Moinesis where the GOP will be partying it up tonight. Here's the address.... 5820 Westown Parkway, West Des Moines... dial it up on your Garman... Remember its the Conference Center in West DeMo.. not HyVee Hall downtown. Got it?


HEAVY HEAVY TURNOUT - Sources close to QCI via the Secretary of State's office are telling us they are thinking turn out could be 55 to even 65%. And we are just about ready to see the work crowd hit.


JUDGES - Have had a few emails about this. Are the judges out? Yes, they will be. I say they are on the fact that voters like me have been voting no on judges before voting out judges was cool. You know the old saying... when in doubt, vote no.


We have some more predictions and stuff on the way.... A little more than 5 hours until the polls close. Light 'em up.

God's Country Politics...


Getting back to a little bit of God's Country politics... Its the greatest place on Earth... So let's chirp about it.


LOCAL STUFF - We said it before... and we'll say it again. Keep your eyes on the Bacon/Olive and Bailey/Iverson races... this is the key to a new majority in the state house. From what we have been told... there is a reverse wave for Bailey and Olive... both got in on the last Dem waves... And the IDP came prepaired with good candidates recruited. Yeah... these guys can say they are moderate and vote on their own... but, there's one key vote to remember, friends... they both voted in Gronstal and Murphy to leadership. If you needed anything else to know about what happens when push comes to should... there it is.


GOOD EATS - Hey, if you are in the Jewell area tonight... and you wanna eat good... Stop on over to Good Shepherd Parish for their annual Election Night Chili Supper. It's crazy good... and my mom has been making some epic peach pies. From 5-8pm tonight over on the corner of Deckor and Edwards Street in Jewell. If you go, tell 'em I sent ya... and say hello from me.


CALLING ANOTHER RACE - Yeps... we're calling the race for County Supervisor in Southern Hamilton County for David Young... my uncle. One of the best elected officials I know... I'm biased... for sure... But he has no opponent. So there you have it.


More to come... did you vote yet?

BREAKING - No need for retraction...


*** BREAKING NEWS FOLLOW UP STORY ***


Earlier we called the races in favor of Bill Northey and Dave Vaudt.

We called this race because of two key things...

1) Straight epic polling data our peeps have
2) None of our team of reporters knew the names of their opponents.

But thanks to our loyal readers... here are the names of the two Democratic opponents...

Francis Thicke is Sec of Ag

And.... some Murphy guy for State Auditor.

After taking in this information... and after looking at all the facts and numbers, the QCI News Team is standing firm....

With ZERO precincts reporting... We are calling it for both Northey and Vaudt.

Early Afternoon News and Notes Dump...


Alright here's an early afternoon Election Day news and notes dump... hahaha... dump.


I HAVE AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY - Dudes... been dialing for freedom the past week over at the Victory HQ... And here's something I'm figuring out... there is a good amount of households in the State of Iowa who have yet to hear about this technology called, answering machines. Freaking answering machines. Dudes, now hear me out... there's a goldmine here. Answering Machine Stores in every strip mall across the state. Think about. We will be rich, bitches!


SO GOOD SO FAR - Hearing good things out there... Getting word that precincts where we want high turnouts... are big big turnouts. And from three poll watcher who just dropped in... say that the same day registrations have been all Republican... and 1 indy... Wave? Yeah, wave.


FOR YOU SOUTH HAMMY ELITISTS OUT THERE - I have recieved a few emails from proud South Hamilton High School grads who are a little concerned with Branstad voting this morning in of all places, Ogden... I know, Ogden... But let me set the record straight. He lives in rural Boone County and has a Boone address. He does not live in Ogden. The record is clear. But three cheers for some good ole fashioned Heart of Iowa Conference smack. #goodjoboutofyou


More to come... Stay thirsty....

Election thoughts from John Madden...


We still have some stuff for ya... we are glad to have received some election analysis from legendary NFL Coach and Epic Football analyst, John Madden... per a phone call received by one of crack team of reporters... John Madden just dropped this knowledge...


"You see, the key to this election and every election... is first, you gotta get supporters, then you get all of the supporters to vote for you... but then... you have to have more supporters than the other guy... and finally you have to turn out more of your supporters out to vote than the other guy... that's how you win."


Take notice staffers... I hope you all wrote that down.

BREAKING... more races called and a DEVELOPING STORY...


* * * * BREAKING NEWS * * * *


We are trying to keep up with all of data our crack team of pollsters and news team is sending us.... But we are ready to call some more races here in the Hawkeye State....


SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE and STATE AUDITOR...


Base on real clear data, with ZERO precincts reporting... AND the fact that no one could even come up with the names of their opponents...


QCI is ready to call the races for Secretary of Ag and State Auditor...


Bill Northey has been re-elected... And the only CPA in the race... Dave Vaudt has been re-elected.


* * * DEVELOPING STORY * * *


A developing story coming out of Republican Victory Centers across the state... Staffers and key volunteers are telling us... they aren't gonna eat pizza for a very long long time. The pizza delivery industry is monitoring these developments...


Stay thirsty...

BREAKING - We are calling it...


PA POW!!!!!!!!!


*** B R E A K I N G N E W S ***


Our news team is ready to call the race for United State Senate here in the epic state of Iowa.


With ZERO, I repeat, ZERO precincts reporting... Chuck Grassley has been re-elected.


Congrats, sir.


More reports coming in. Stay thirsty

PREDICTION ALERT - Surprise!


We know there is a wave coming... and its hitting hard. Been asked the last few days... what is the big surprise?


The Iowa Legislature....


The House is going R... big time. Word on the street is... and I'm as serious as a dry keg 2 hours before kickoff at Kinnick... Watch Pat Murphy's seat. While was door knocking his district... by himself... his opponent has an army.


But that's not my surprise of tonight.... The Iowa Senate. Will is tilt R? Hmmmm... we're going with 25-25 split.... You heard it here first. Remember we are a legit news source. For reals.


More to come. Stay thirsty my friends.

Predictions? Exit polls?!! Yesssssss!!!


Oh yeah baby... what's a legit news soruce to do? *ginormous smirk*

Of course we're gonna make some predicitions... I have heard from some of you who are a little disappointed that we didn't do our usual Gameday Post... Lo siento... #horriblejoboutofus... but the writing team here at QCI is a little busy making the calls, putting up the signs and mailing the letters... trying to get you suckas to do the right thing. Get the vote out for the good guys.

So... here's how this is gonna down. Our keen insightful, fun loving, junior high humor joke telling crew is pumping out some predictions... AND we have pollsters and techy thingers that will be not only predicting winners and losers... but we have the ability to call a few races... How cool is that?!!! I know!!!! Freaking amazing. All of your high fives and fist bumps are belongs to us. Muwahahahaha.

OK... Stay tuned.. Stay thirsty... and while you are cranking some phones... crank this little ditty...



1st Congressional District... and G n R


We got our first dispatcher from out East calling in this morning with some stuff going in the First Congressional District.

As you all know Bruce Braley and Ben Lange are in an epic fight. Some interesting news and notes that might be a barameter for things to watch.

First, our source is telling us that inside polls are showing Braley up in Waterloo... and Lange killing it in Scott County... that where the Quad Cities are for you people in Story City reading... Anyhow... the battleground has now become Catholicsville, USA errrr Dubuque. The same place were Vice President Biden just visited with... from what the locals are telling us... a poor showing for such a Democrat stronghold.

Also... Team Braley was lighting the phones last night attacking Lange on taxes... push poll? Eh... prolly not... but it should tell you something.

While we're looking at Dubuque... keep your eye on it. Remember, Branstad has won that county before... and there's a very good Right to Life movement there...

So ponder on that one for a while and stay thirsty... and HEY! It's Election Day y'alls! I think we could use some G n R....




Election Day... Vote Suckas!!!


Today is the day!!!!

Election Day is here and the Balls to the Wall coverage continues from the World's Crappiest Blog... We start are day embedded in the action.... but first... a joke from a loyal reader....

A politician was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"

Stay thirsty my friends... get out to vote! More to come...

11/1/10

Zaun is still rockin in the free World...


More stuff from Urbandale... or as the cool kids pronounce it... Err Ban Dah Lay.

BRAD ZAUN IN THE HIZZY - Not only are peeps rocking in the free World over at Branstad/Victory... Team Brad Zaun office is burning up the phones as well. They have armies ready to hit the streets and need help too.

Also, in case you missed it... Brad Zaun was on 60 Minutes last night... Check out the interview here.

EPIC IDEA - Had a message from a loyal reader who isn't able to make it out the HQ to help... But offered to make goodies for the worthy warriors. What an epic idea. I know there's a tired staff and hard working volunteer crew out here that could use a little fuel. You can't make it out... drop off some goods for the troops.

Alright... more to come... stay tuned... you got anymore chatter? Email me up... grantyoung72@hotmail.com

Stay thirsty friends...

Live from Urbandale... it Election Eve....


Live from the Branstad/Victory HQ. Where the phones are buzzin', peeps are pumped... and victory is less than 24 hours. The entire ticket just got done with a rally about an hour ago. Here's a quick update for you all... What I'm hearing and interesting tid bits you might like...

THE STATE HOUSE - The poobahs that be are saying the worst kept secret in Iowa right now. The State House is going back to the good guys. Now its not if its gonna happen, just by how much.

SECRETARY OF STATE - Schultz is gonna get a win tomorrow night. This might be a small surprise. We've seen the polls, heard the buzz. Here's the deal, Mauro's name ID is gonna hurt him.

THIS WAVE - Yeah, I've been chirping about the wave... but its more. You wanna know why these races up and down the ticket are in play? Sure... yeah... its a good year... but the real key? Good candidates. Some top Rs are saying this is one of the best recruiting classes in a very long time... A wave is one thing... crappy candidates are another. And we don't have crappy candidates.

THE BRANSTACHE - So a lot of you loyal readers came up and said hey tonight at the rally. You all are awesome. And thanks for the shout out on Branstache I've been sporting for a few days. Do I keep it or lose it after the election?


VOLUNTEER EFFORT - Holy freaking crap dudes!!!! I'm being told we are at full capacity at all of the centers across the state. Plus... I can tell you... they are crushing phone goals.


EPIC CUPCAKES - Dudes, you HAVE to score some of these cupcakes from Fancypants Cupcake Co. They are freaking amazing. Dudes... they will make your eyes spin, yeah... that good. Shout out to loyal reader and co-owner Sara Craig. She brought a bunch for the peeps. Learn more about these awesome cubcakes by Facebooking this up.

More to come... Stay thirsty and crank this one... You ready?