QCI Investigates: The Establishment

Sometimes we do have some breaking news and journalistic value for all of you. Today, the QCI Newsroom has obtained a copy of a Blackberry Messenger or "BBM" conversation from the Establishment. (insert spooky music here) Yes, THE Establishment. The ones who run, everything.

The numerous sources we have followed up with... all confirm that this is really how everything is decided.

Here's the chilling BBM transcript...

Waspy Smithfield – They really need to know who’s in charge around here.
Tanner Jones – Agreed. They will crawl back for our help.
Waspy Smithfield – Hey, do you want to meet in the smoke filled back room later today?
Tanner Jones - Hmmm… Maybe. I have a meeting at the UN. Then I have to see if my black helicopter is fixed.
Tanner Jones – So upsetting when it breaks down. It’s such a chore.
Waspy Smithfield – I know, right?! If people knew how hard it was to be the establishment, they would understand.
Tanner Jones – Totally. It’s tough being important.
Waspy Smithfield – That’s OK, we can meet tomorrow. I need to finalize my plans to start the next war for oil.
Tanner Jones – Did you get your Skull and Bones Reunion invite in the mail?
Tanner Jones – Which blazer are you going to wear? Blue or blue?
Waspy Smithfield – Yes, of course. I’m going with blue.
Waspy Smithfield – I’m also going to make a motion we change the secret handshake to something else. You know… everyone knows it’s a handshake and all.
Tanner Jones – That’s terrific. But, I for one am not much for change. Call me elitist and all.
Waspy Smithfield – You damn country clubber!
Tanner Jones – LOL! Good one!
Tanner Jones – Not to be on your ass about it, but are you done with the list of candidates we are going to throw our money behind yet?
Waspy Smithfield – I’m a little hung up with on how to start this war. But I did finish the list of who’s allowed to run.
Tanner Jones – Delicious. You know you can’t just throw these primaries overnight. These things take a little time.
Tanner Jones – Hang on a minute. Karl Rove is calling me.
Waspy Smithfield – Perfect. Tell him “all golden girls and boys fly by the seat of their swords”… He’ll know what that means.
Tanner Jones – Message delivered.
Waspy Smithfield – Ruling the world is fun.
Tanner Jones – It so is. SOMEONE has to do the thinking around here.
Waspy Smithfield – *thumbs up*

Trust no one, loyal readers. Trust no one.


Chiefs, Judges, "Leadership", Kinky and Playground Brawls...

A few things for you to chirp about in the comment section.... AND one of the best songs and videos I have seen/heard in a long long while... here's your quick hits...

THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS - I'll just say it. It was like watching monkeys fornicating with a football on Sunday. Don't worry, all sharp objects have been taken away from my place.

CULVER AND THE JUDGES - Hmmm... sounds like an ironic band name. So the news today is Culver saying he'd appoint 'em if they came up with names. Hasn't this guy found his new house in Northern Virginia yet? Cmon son.

PRESS RELEASES CAN MAKE A FUNNY - Yea, saw that the IDP Chair said this of Gronstal and McCarthy on their elections to leadership:

“Senator Gronstal and Representative McCarthy are both steadfast supporters of this state and committed to moving it forward by creating quality jobs and protecting the progress that has made Iowa a national leader in so many areas. Democrats across the state appreciate their work on behalf of all Iowans and willingness to stand up for what is right.”

Um, that's why a good amount of Iowans threw out... a good chunk of that... leadership. #justsayin

KINKY ON POTUS 43 - Yeah... in case you missed this... Kinky Friedman has a good bit on the former President and the current President.

AND FINALLY... Dudes... been loving me some Black Keys for a long time. Not only is this song epic enough to crank loud so you and you palls can head nod... but the video is quite humorous... Stay thirsty my friends...


Weekend Update....

OK... so for a first time in a long team here at the ole QCI Headquarters, we enjoyed a lazy day of football... tweets... and chirping about. So que the music. Let's get to the awesome that is the QCI Weekend Update....

THE IOWA HAWKEYES - If I refer to the Hawkeyes as that "on again off again chick you break up with, yet hook up again the very next weekend"... then this was one of those disaster dates. The kind that ends up with you getting kicked in the nads. Yeah. That great. I don't think I've seen this many cuss word texted to my phone within in 5 minutes of the ending of this disaster. I believe I saw a few new ones... of which I won't list any them. Because, we try to keep this blog at least PG13. Someone get me and all the other Iowa fans some ice packets for our collective junk.

POLITICAL GOSSIP AT THE SPEED OF TWITTER - So word in Twittersburgh today was that State Senator Wally Horn from out in Eastern Iowa is gonna run for Majority Leader. That would end the term of Governor Mike Gronstal for sure. After that thing got retweeted say, 20 times, five of loyal QCI-ders alerted us that he's running for Assistant Leader. Which one is it then? Does it rally matter? Awe yes... to paraphrase Rick James, Twitter is a hell of a drug.

IOWA NATIONAL GUARD TAKES CARE OF BIDNESS - So was listening to this story over the news breaks today during football... Turns out some of the good guys were out on a mission in Afghanistan when the bad guys showed up. it was great to hear that the Iowa Guard "took care of the situation". No one harmed... except the ones who needed to be harmed. And they took into custody one of the Taliban. Keep kicking ass and get home safe soon, dear heroes.

THE ELECTION IS OVER, RIGHT? Hey, I don't like Leonard Boswell as much as the next guy... but I think you can cancel the "retire Boswell" Facebook ads.

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION - Speaking of these Book of Faces you speak of. How about giving a "like" to the World's Crappiest Blog? Click here... spread some love and make your news feed full of the awesome.

AND FINALLY... Your weekend tunes... Stay thirsty friends....


Ride the Lightning Round

Hmmmmmm... new feature? Don't get too excited dearest loyal readers. Well... This idea stems out of a couple conversations I have had the past few days.

I don't know why people ask me questions about things or particular subjects... but I'm a chatty type of kid, so it's all good.

So I figure, I'd throw out a bunch of subjects... do my quick take on it and call it close. If you got any things you want to ad to the next "Ride the Lightning Round" (super clever name inserting Metallica in to this feature, if you ask me) then email me up.... OK... let's do this.

The Iowa Caucuses - Yeah... that didn't take too long to start, didn't it? First debate set by NBC... and the candidates are planning trips to the state... its not even Thanksgiving yet. Even. Better.
The Kansas City Chiefs - Yes. The Oakland loss still stings. But effff 'em. It's Denver Week. Time to put a whoopin on the methheads ERR Broncos.
Veterans Day and Birthdays - Be honest, some of you wouldn't have thought much about Veteran's Day... or your former 5th grade basketball team mate's birthday for that matter... if you weren't on Facebook.
Facebook Follow Up - Also, are you less patriotic because you didn't say anything in your Facebook status about Veteran's Day? Think about that one.
Iowa Family Policy Center - Yeah. I know, right? But, when you first heard about it.... were you really surprised? C'mon son.
Meghan McCain - Who is Meghan McCain and why should I care what she has to say? Seriously, never heard of her. Did I miss something?
Iowa Hawkeyes - Effff... why don't I ever have a good feeling about playing Northwestern? I mean, it's effing Northwestern.
Boston Celtics - Bwahahahahahahahaha! Or as loyal reader Yoda said, "Miami Heat? More like the Miami Clowns Machine!" Bwahahahahahaha! Celtics!
The Tokyo Sandblaster - I can't even try to imagine what that means. Although, my first thought is... painful, slopped up with a side of hideous?
Remember November 2 - Who could forget? OK... I got it. We won. Let's change some of those avatars out there people. It's kind of lame-ish.
The Des Moines Register - Not sure what's more annoying... their political leanings or those uber huge take over your screen freeze your computer ads on the main page of their website.
Snow - No. I'm not ready for it. I speak for many. I have authority here. We are not read. Please no.
New Book Releases - So many books to get... too close to Christmas-ish. But, the new Denis Leary looks so awesome... might have to pull the trigger when it comes out.
Iowa State Senate - Noice. Although, I think its laughable how tough Former Governor Mike Gronstal is talking. Better yet, keep talking, sir.
Epic Book - Awe crap... get this. I hvae changed the format 4 times now. But, its still gonna rule. Maybe I'll just push out pieces at a time. Release it... the Book Tour the hell out of it. Yessssssssssssss!
Iowa State House - Two words, Charlie effing Smithson, dude. (Kuwait a minute)... I have to admit, had to have this one explained to me. But after that, yeah man, how awesome is that?
You are always on your phone - Hang on a minute. I need to reply to this. It will just take another minute.
New Tunes? So freaking good. Danielle Ate The Sandwich. Move over Elizabeth Shue? Could there be a new American Sweetheart? Hmmm... for real, she belts out epic stuff. YouTube it.
Elizabeth Shue? She is America's Sweetheart, always will be. I mean... well... if you don't believe so... why don't you go back where you came from Mao Zedong.
Good Eats? How have I been in the DeMo this long and NEVER gone to Little John's Burgers on 2nd north of Euclid? Crazy good.
FourSquare - No I did not check in here... or there... or anywhere... You can keep all those FourSquare badges for you Girl Scout sash, pal... Yeah... not a fan.

OK... that was easy enough. More to come... stay thirsty my friends.


Corkage Fee?

A little break from the normal stuff today... So let's turn to an issue you all can help me figure out.

OK, so call me late to the table on this. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm as cultured as my buddies tell me that I'm not really that cultured. As a loyal reader and friend told me, "Just because you know the difference between a piano and harpsichord, don't make you cultured, dude." There is some truth to that... Oh... to answer that bit for you people in Story City, it's the tones each make... basically.

Also... since I'm admitting things. I'm not much of a going out for dinner type. I know it's weird and I'm weird. I'm just not. Don' t get me wrong, I loves me some epic food, dishes and all that cheese whiz... but "dinner" not so much. I can hear the ladies reading now... wow, that's an impressive man right here.

*shrugs shoulders with a smirk*

But hear me out my fine feathered friends. Call it growing up-ish? But, I'm starting to dig or at least try a decent "dinner" or two at some foo foo joints. Yes, in G$-speak, a foo foo joints are joints that include a wine list. Speaking of this said wine list/menu thinger.... there was this whole thing on there that confused me...

"Corkage fee."

This term instantly sent shock waves to my head.

So much shock, I belted out a Scooby Doo like "Huh?"

The head guy in the mission control center in my brain says, "What the hell is a corkage fee?! Dudes?! I need some answers!" His deputy commander approaches the head guy's desk, "Could it be that you have to pay for them to uncork the wine, sir?" Head guy goes, "That's just ridiculous! Who would do that or pay for that?!!" The deputy guy whimpers, "Sorry, sir... Our experience with wine and this new 'going out to dinner' order handed out by the higher ups is... well... we're a little over our heads, sir." The head guy demands, "I need answers, dammit!"

Of which, being the moron that I am at times, I say a loud, "I need answers, dammit!" That got greeted with blank stares at the dinner table... and waiter. Coming to my senses... I follow up with a, "Alright, I'm no wino, could you tell me what a corkage fee is?"

Dudes, have you heard of this? So like... if you bring in your own wine to some restaurants... you can... you just have to pay a corkage fee. And some nights? They wave the fee! How freaking cool is that? This is like when bring your own beer to some strip club on the north side of town. OK, maybe not that extreme... and more clothes on...

But wait... Hold the phone.

Let me get this straight.

So, this corkage fee... you can bring in your own grape. But no beer? Dudes. Why is there no "pop top fee"?

This... is kind of outrageous.

So wine people can be all cool and stuff... pay their corkage fee... so they can bring in their Boone's Farm to sip while eating their croissant crepes or whatever the hell you eat with wine... but I can't bring in a case of Milwaukee's Best Light to slam while I'm killing 5 pounds of chicken wings? This... is crazy.

*disbelief look on my face with a side of outrage*

Yeah man. This is so bootleg. Peeps can can be all lay de freaking dah french-like... but Bif and the fellas can walk in with their finest ice cold Busch heavies? This is America, dudes. And this don't seem American to me.

Don't send me hate mail now... I know what you're gonna say.

"G$, you're kind of crazy. Nice, but nuts, dude."


Maybe those delicious Milwaukee Best Lights just belong... in some of the best places on Earth. Like in nice heated garages in Jewell... enjoyed with fried foods... with good jokes... with good tunes... with good pals... and not in foo foo joints and their "corkage fees".

Oh lay dee dah Pepe Le Pew... Maybe I'll just stick to the garage.


Tweet it like you mean it....

Is this how politics and social media works out sometimes? Hmmm… maybe.

Here’s how a little text messaging conversation went down with a pal of mine from DC. For some reason this makes me laugh. Probably because… most hacks are guilty of it. I can smell my own. Enjoy….


MY PAL: hey, give a little retweet love to my last tweet, yo.

ME: Oh. Nice nice. Astroturf much?

MY PAL: f*ck u

ME: Bwahahahahahahahaha

MY PAL: help a bro out dogg

ME: OK, I got you man. Tweet tweet Birdbrain.

MY PAL: u suck, but still the man. Thx.

ME: Astroturf!

MY PAL: shut it wise ass

ME: Youre welcome.


And… awe yes… with friends like these, who need enemies?

Just another bizarrely lived moment in my World.

Vote or Trash

"Those damn kids Barthy! Those Goddamn kids!"

You're picture of the day courtesy of a loyal QCI reader's Facebook album. For some reason I believe this picture is amazing.

It came with the caption...

"Even the street punks get political in Iowa."



Question Time... Discuss...

Yes... I know. We are posting more here. You're get a little excited. I know this. I can feel it. I'm serious, we have tons of stuff coming your way. More post-election stuff... I know... kind of stretching it out it bit... (that's what she said) Here's some quick hits for you in case you feel frisky and wanna chirp in the comment section for once... OK... go!

- Efff efff efff efff!!! The Chiefs lose to the Raidahzzzz... not fun. Not fun at all... Damn you Sea Bass!

- Iowa State/Nebraska... seriously, I kick the field goal. Guts are guts... but, I kick to live another day... Seriously.

- Jeez, the Cowboys are goats. Wow.

- So how much are we spending to send POTUS to India?

- Per today's Krusty... hope delusional is Culver?

- Follow up... when did the DMR get all biased and things? (smirk)

- House and Senate Rs meet up today. Congrats to the new leaders!

- Mustache or no mustache? Got mixed reviews.... but turns out some of you love yourselves a lip sweater on my mug.

OK... discuss... and enjoy this awesome Soundgarden vid that will make you rock out with your caucus out. Stay thirsty my friends and use the comment section.


In case you are wondering...

....There are only 458 days until the Iowa Caucuses.

Here's a little video of somebody's historic victory in 2000... maybe you heard of him...

TOO SOON?!!!!!

Hell to the no. This is Iowa...

Who's your pick? Discuss in the comment section...

Yard Signs win Elections...

BREAKING... This just in... We have more conclusive data on why Republicans did so well on Tuesday... Yard Signs... Yard Signs won this election... in a big big way.

Our friends over at Rizzo Tees has the pic that closed the deal for the GOP this midterm election. After seeing this... we can see why....


You never know what you're gonna see in Webster City...

OK... totally forgot to post this awesomeness for you Saturday during some doorknocking freedom fighting.... wait... I think I was having tech issues... Anyways... if you missed the Tweet from Mr. Clean aka the Birdman aka Wes-I-Am... here it is.

Didn't know Louie Vuitton did SUVs? Only in Webster City...


The Morning After...

Hey hey hey!!!! What an awesome night! Numerous staffers and volunteers are sleeping it off right now… probably dreaming of a greasy cheeseburger to kill off the upcoming hangover. But not here at QCI… we’re up and at ‘em… Cmon son, we’re legit members of the media! Yes, I can hear you saying it now... "Child please."

Tons and tons of stuff for you this morning… in a very random order.

NATIONAL STUFF – Caught a glimpse of the national map for US House late last night. Looks…. Really nice.
KASICH! Woot! So awesome to see the guy who inspired me to get into this whole damn thing is the new Governor-Elect. Freaking awesome.
THAT MY FRIENDS WAS AN ASS WHOOPIN’ – Talking about Branstad. Sing it friends… “I… got a feel-in’… Terry is back in Terrace Hill!” Where was this Culver momentum Kathie Obradovich? For real... any report who bought this Culver momentum stuff should be ashamed they even printed it. Seriously.
BRANSTACHE NO LONGER – Yeah… totally grew a Branstache for the final push… At the party last night, a volunteer asked me, “Would you like a Branstad sticker?” Then I’m like… “Dude, um, I have a stache… represent.” Sadly… shaved it off this morning… it had a good run. I have more notes on this… stay thirsty on this one.
GOD’S COUNTRY IS SOUTH HIGH RED - *happy happy dance* Good to see Southern Hamilton County is gonna be represented by the good guys! Congrats to Stew Iverson, Rob Bacon and Dave Deyoe!
EAST POLK COUNTY – Something that should be a developing story… how did Funk get beat that bad… something doesn’t smell right.
STATE HOUSE – Speaking of ass whoopins… When a wave hits… this happens. But I’ll argue that the House Rs did a methodical job…. Good issues… Great candidates… that’s how you debate.
CONGRESSIONALS – Iowa is a funny place sometimes. While they’ll switch somethings… they’ll keep some the same. Proud of MMM and Zaun running good races… honorably. Hold on to your hats with Lange… that one ain’t done yet.
STATE SENATE – Some thought 25-25 was far fetched? Um… still 2 races being hashed out. Would be great to get to 24… Somewhere there are ashtrays flying in Gronstal’s hotel room.
OUR PREDICTIONS – QCI is the king of media!! *uber smirk* Hahaha…. We called 3… nah 5 races early yesterday… but we Schultz right. Right if you mean it was on everyone else’s brackets too.

Also… thanks for all the shout outs at the Victory shindig… thanks for reading and thanks for hooking us up with the most hits since I got my car stolen the day after the ’08 election… you people do read this!

Also… in case you’re concerned… car didn’t get stolen this morning… it is a new day in Iowa…. More to come… Stay thirsty… and we bust out this song to all the winners last night…



Alright... we are going mobile... That means we be live tweeting this bidness.

You can follow me here in Twittersburgh or just keep it here and hit refresh.... My tweetness is one the right hand of this as the handy dandy graphic above just showed you.

Tweet tweet!

Chet Culver is about to be a one term governor...

You want my prediction for Governor?

Worst kept secret out there.... Here it is...

Chet Culver is on his way to being a one term Governor. End. Of. Story.

There is no momentum... zero. It is just not happening. The Culver brass and Iowa Democrat mouth pieces can talk until they are blue in the face. It's over.

It has been over for a long time.

My question is what time is Chet Culver going to call Terry Branstad to concede? The way these guys have been talking for the past week... I'd put money if Culver is down 13 points... he still thinks he can get a recount win.



The way things are going today... the wave we are seeing... I say we have chances everywhere... especially with our Statewides.

The one where I think thebest shot tonight, is the one that most schools of thought are going... Schultz has the best chance of the group.

Not because of massive media buys or any of that.... just on the fact that Mike Mauro isn't very well know outside of Polk County. Sure, the list he has of Auditors... ain't too shabby... but still. There was a reason why Schultz is doing so well numbers wise.

But, a lot is happening today... I'm not counting any of our candidates out today.

Talking Governor's race here in a little bit... Stay thirsty friends...

QCI Facebook Status of the Day

Here's some thing for a little that will represent our QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY....

If you need any clue on how things are going.... here's Chad Airhart's (county treas candidate) status moments ago...

"Jodi just voted as number 885 in our precinct, with about 100 in line still to vote. In 2006 our precinct had a total of 765 voters. High turnout on election day is always good for Republicans. Especially in a Republican County like Dallas. Still 3 hours and 45 minutes to vote. Get out there people. Vote, Vote, Vote!"

Um... it's only 5:20pm.... and people are just on their way home.


Congressional predictions and notes.....

Let's start cranking out some predictions... that are somewhat serious....


Oh but wait... we have some breaking news from the World's Crappiest newsroom... Throw up the fancy lettering...

* * * BREAKING NEWS * * *

Just handed to me by a QCI intern... QCI is ready to call 2 more races...

With ZERO precincts reporting... and I want to be clear about this... ZERO precincts reporting... We are ready to call the races for Congress in the 4th and 5th Districts...

Tom Latham and Steve King have won re-election. So there you go.

Now back to you regularly scheduled QCI post....

OK, here you go.... Predicitions in places where there is action.

1st District - Gonna be lame and say toss up... If Braley goes down tonight... Um, the other side is screwed.

2nd District - Miller-Meeks is gonna be your first woman member of Congress. I think its just there. If you are looking at turn out numbers right now? Heavy, heavy in Linn.... Hearing, like everywhere else in the state, where we need big turn outs... and we're getting them. Miller-Meeks gets the upset tonight... who would have thunk it, right? Well, if you have seen how hard she has worked... you know.
Also... peeps out in the 2nd are telling me that Loebsack doesn't even seem like he wants to keep his seat. A Democrat source close to QCI told us that it's like... if he loses... it's not a big deal to him. Interesting.

3rd District - Sure the numbers that have came out of this one... haven't been the best. But again... if you are looking a turnout numbers as we speak... look at Polk County and the Supervisor Districts... Heavy in Bob Brownell's and EJ Giovanetti's... take note of EJ's... this is Brad's backyard.

Turn out is low on the Southside, in John Mauro's area... The Eastside is seeing some huge turnouts... because they got the Funk.

But here's the thing where I wouldn't shut the door on Zaun's chances... Look at Connelly's district. Brad is going to get a lot of these people. This is the Northside... Beaverdale... Irish Catholic... Dowling kids... These are Brad's peeps that no one is seeing... and they are turning out. Big time.

Also... if Branstad wins Polk County... we have a ballgame.

More stuff on the way... Stay thirsty.

Party, Turnout and Judges...

As the phones continue to burn... Pizza continues to be nibbled on out in Urbandale... ANd we are still proving to be your favorite source for news and maybe wasting your time... heavy on the maybe.

HY-VEE CONFERENCE CENTER - Not HyVee Hall downtown... the one out in West Des Moinesis where the GOP will be partying it up tonight. Here's the address.... 5820 Westown Parkway, West Des Moines... dial it up on your Garman... Remember its the Conference Center in West DeMo.. not HyVee Hall downtown. Got it?

HEAVY HEAVY TURNOUT - Sources close to QCI via the Secretary of State's office are telling us they are thinking turn out could be 55 to even 65%. And we are just about ready to see the work crowd hit.

JUDGES - Have had a few emails about this. Are the judges out? Yes, they will be. I say they are on the fact that voters like me have been voting no on judges before voting out judges was cool. You know the old saying... when in doubt, vote no.

We have some more predictions and stuff on the way.... A little more than 5 hours until the polls close. Light 'em up.

God's Country Politics...

Getting back to a little bit of God's Country politics... Its the greatest place on Earth... So let's chirp about it.

LOCAL STUFF - We said it before... and we'll say it again. Keep your eyes on the Bacon/Olive and Bailey/Iverson races... this is the key to a new majority in the state house. From what we have been told... there is a reverse wave for Bailey and Olive... both got in on the last Dem waves... And the IDP came prepaired with good candidates recruited. Yeah... these guys can say they are moderate and vote on their own... but, there's one key vote to remember, friends... they both voted in Gronstal and Murphy to leadership. If you needed anything else to know about what happens when push comes to should... there it is.

GOOD EATS - Hey, if you are in the Jewell area tonight... and you wanna eat good... Stop on over to Good Shepherd Parish for their annual Election Night Chili Supper. It's crazy good... and my mom has been making some epic peach pies. From 5-8pm tonight over on the corner of Deckor and Edwards Street in Jewell. If you go, tell 'em I sent ya... and say hello from me.

CALLING ANOTHER RACE - Yeps... we're calling the race for County Supervisor in Southern Hamilton County for David Young... my uncle. One of the best elected officials I know... I'm biased... for sure... But he has no opponent. So there you have it.

More to come... did you vote yet?

BREAKING - No need for retraction...


Earlier we called the races in favor of Bill Northey and Dave Vaudt.

We called this race because of two key things...

1) Straight epic polling data our peeps have
2) None of our team of reporters knew the names of their opponents.

But thanks to our loyal readers... here are the names of the two Democratic opponents...

Francis Thicke is Sec of Ag

And.... some Murphy guy for State Auditor.

After taking in this information... and after looking at all the facts and numbers, the QCI News Team is standing firm....

With ZERO precincts reporting... We are calling it for both Northey and Vaudt.

Early Afternoon News and Notes Dump...

Alright here's an early afternoon Election Day news and notes dump... hahaha... dump.

I HAVE AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY - Dudes... been dialing for freedom the past week over at the Victory HQ... And here's something I'm figuring out... there is a good amount of households in the State of Iowa who have yet to hear about this technology called, answering machines. Freaking answering machines. Dudes, now hear me out... there's a goldmine here. Answering Machine Stores in every strip mall across the state. Think about. We will be rich, bitches!

SO GOOD SO FAR - Hearing good things out there... Getting word that precincts where we want high turnouts... are big big turnouts. And from three poll watcher who just dropped in... say that the same day registrations have been all Republican... and 1 indy... Wave? Yeah, wave.

FOR YOU SOUTH HAMMY ELITISTS OUT THERE - I have recieved a few emails from proud South Hamilton High School grads who are a little concerned with Branstad voting this morning in of all places, Ogden... I know, Ogden... But let me set the record straight. He lives in rural Boone County and has a Boone address. He does not live in Ogden. The record is clear. But three cheers for some good ole fashioned Heart of Iowa Conference smack. #goodjoboutofyou

More to come... Stay thirsty....

Election thoughts from John Madden...

We still have some stuff for ya... we are glad to have received some election analysis from legendary NFL Coach and Epic Football analyst, John Madden... per a phone call received by one of crack team of reporters... John Madden just dropped this knowledge...

"You see, the key to this election and every election... is first, you gotta get supporters, then you get all of the supporters to vote for you... but then... you have to have more supporters than the other guy... and finally you have to turn out more of your supporters out to vote than the other guy... that's how you win."

Take notice staffers... I hope you all wrote that down.

BREAKING... more races called and a DEVELOPING STORY...

* * * * BREAKING NEWS * * * *

We are trying to keep up with all of data our crack team of pollsters and news team is sending us.... But we are ready to call some more races here in the Hawkeye State....


Base on real clear data, with ZERO precincts reporting... AND the fact that no one could even come up with the names of their opponents...

QCI is ready to call the races for Secretary of Ag and State Auditor...

Bill Northey has been re-elected... And the only CPA in the race... Dave Vaudt has been re-elected.


A developing story coming out of Republican Victory Centers across the state... Staffers and key volunteers are telling us... they aren't gonna eat pizza for a very long long time. The pizza delivery industry is monitoring these developments...

Stay thirsty...

BREAKING - We are calling it...

PA POW!!!!!!!!!

*** B R E A K I N G N E W S ***

Our news team is ready to call the race for United State Senate here in the epic state of Iowa.

With ZERO, I repeat, ZERO precincts reporting... Chuck Grassley has been re-elected.

Congrats, sir.

More reports coming in. Stay thirsty


We know there is a wave coming... and its hitting hard. Been asked the last few days... what is the big surprise?

The Iowa Legislature....

The House is going R... big time. Word on the street is... and I'm as serious as a dry keg 2 hours before kickoff at Kinnick... Watch Pat Murphy's seat. While was door knocking his district... by himself... his opponent has an army.

But that's not my surprise of tonight.... The Iowa Senate. Will is tilt R? Hmmmm... we're going with 25-25 split.... You heard it here first. Remember we are a legit news source. For reals.

More to come. Stay thirsty my friends.

Predictions? Exit polls?!! Yesssssss!!!

Oh yeah baby... what's a legit news soruce to do? *ginormous smirk*

Of course we're gonna make some predicitions... I have heard from some of you who are a little disappointed that we didn't do our usual Gameday Post... Lo siento... #horriblejoboutofus... but the writing team here at QCI is a little busy making the calls, putting up the signs and mailing the letters... trying to get you suckas to do the right thing. Get the vote out for the good guys.

So... here's how this is gonna down. Our keen insightful, fun loving, junior high humor joke telling crew is pumping out some predictions... AND we have pollsters and techy thingers that will be not only predicting winners and losers... but we have the ability to call a few races... How cool is that?!!! I know!!!! Freaking amazing. All of your high fives and fist bumps are belongs to us. Muwahahahaha.

OK... Stay tuned.. Stay thirsty... and while you are cranking some phones... crank this little ditty...

1st Congressional District... and G n R

We got our first dispatcher from out East calling in this morning with some stuff going in the First Congressional District.

As you all know Bruce Braley and Ben Lange are in an epic fight. Some interesting news and notes that might be a barameter for things to watch.

First, our source is telling us that inside polls are showing Braley up in Waterloo... and Lange killing it in Scott County... that where the Quad Cities are for you people in Story City reading... Anyhow... the battleground has now become Catholicsville, USA errrr Dubuque. The same place were Vice President Biden just visited with... from what the locals are telling us... a poor showing for such a Democrat stronghold.

Also... Team Braley was lighting the phones last night attacking Lange on taxes... push poll? Eh... prolly not... but it should tell you something.

While we're looking at Dubuque... keep your eye on it. Remember, Branstad has won that county before... and there's a very good Right to Life movement there...

So ponder on that one for a while and stay thirsty... and HEY! It's Election Day y'alls! I think we could use some G n R....

Election Day... Vote Suckas!!!

Today is the day!!!!

Election Day is here and the Balls to the Wall coverage continues from the World's Crappiest Blog... We start are day embedded in the action.... but first... a joke from a loyal reader....

A politician was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"

Stay thirsty my friends... get out to vote! More to come...


Zaun is still rockin in the free World...

More stuff from Urbandale... or as the cool kids pronounce it... Err Ban Dah Lay.

BRAD ZAUN IN THE HIZZY - Not only are peeps rocking in the free World over at Branstad/Victory... Team Brad Zaun office is burning up the phones as well. They have armies ready to hit the streets and need help too.

Also, in case you missed it... Brad Zaun was on 60 Minutes last night... Check out the interview here.

EPIC IDEA - Had a message from a loyal reader who isn't able to make it out the HQ to help... But offered to make goodies for the worthy warriors. What an epic idea. I know there's a tired staff and hard working volunteer crew out here that could use a little fuel. You can't make it out... drop off some goods for the troops.

Alright... more to come... stay tuned... you got anymore chatter? Email me up... grantyoung72@hotmail.com

Stay thirsty friends...

Live from Urbandale... it Election Eve....

Live from the Branstad/Victory HQ. Where the phones are buzzin', peeps are pumped... and victory is less than 24 hours. The entire ticket just got done with a rally about an hour ago. Here's a quick update for you all... What I'm hearing and interesting tid bits you might like...

THE STATE HOUSE - The poobahs that be are saying the worst kept secret in Iowa right now. The State House is going back to the good guys. Now its not if its gonna happen, just by how much.

SECRETARY OF STATE - Schultz is gonna get a win tomorrow night. This might be a small surprise. We've seen the polls, heard the buzz. Here's the deal, Mauro's name ID is gonna hurt him.

THIS WAVE - Yeah, I've been chirping about the wave... but its more. You wanna know why these races up and down the ticket are in play? Sure... yeah... its a good year... but the real key? Good candidates. Some top Rs are saying this is one of the best recruiting classes in a very long time... A wave is one thing... crappy candidates are another. And we don't have crappy candidates.

THE BRANSTACHE - So a lot of you loyal readers came up and said hey tonight at the rally. You all are awesome. And thanks for the shout out on Branstache I've been sporting for a few days. Do I keep it or lose it after the election?

VOLUNTEER EFFORT - Holy freaking crap dudes!!!! I'm being told we are at full capacity at all of the centers across the state. Plus... I can tell you... they are crushing phone goals.

EPIC CUPCAKES - Dudes, you HAVE to score some of these cupcakes from Fancypants Cupcake Co. They are freaking amazing. Dudes... they will make your eyes spin, yeah... that good. Shout out to loyal reader and co-owner Sara Craig. She brought a bunch for the peeps. Learn more about these awesome cubcakes by Facebooking this up.

More to come... Stay thirsty and crank this one... You ready?

Heated sidewalks... heated freaking sidewalks...

If the Iowa House Democrats didn't want any headaches... maybe they shouldn't have gotten so cocky last session... An issue that is hitting the airwaves that is sure to get the ashtrays flying against walls over on Fleur Drive... An issue that is for sure making the blood of the Dem Legislative Leadership boil...

Heated sidewalks. Yup. Heated freaking sidewalks.

Here's how we got to this issue... So there was this bill that was voted on, H-8402 (oh lookie lookie at me, dropping bill numbers, like a boss)... any how it was this green initiative that was for geothermal sidewalks specifically for West Union, IA. There was some amendments and such... Long story short, this was you basic run of the mill pork bill. This wasn't added to another budget. it was its own bill. Straight party vote. Democrats who loves themselves some spending... said voted yes... including Donovan Olson from Boone... and Mike Reasnor of Creston... both Dems who are feeling some heat and uber strong opponents.

Yeah... how good is that vote looking now?

Anyways... we are being told that this is an issue that is clicking with voters in these districts. And rightfully so.... Heated freaking sidewalks? A few questions probably being asked.

Taxpayer sensible types are asking, why are we spending money on heated sidewalks? Then there's freeloading types asking... Where's my heated sidewalks?

For the sake of the future of this state, Tuesday can't get here any closer.

Weekend Political Potpourri for $200 Alex...

Alright... now time to give some of your reports you've been sending in to the QCI Newsroom (newsroom? really? *smirk*)


In Polk County --- Lots and lots of action going on. As I reported on Saturday, Des Moines' eastside was jumpin'. Per sources close to QCI one of the most massive ground efforts in Polk County GOP history. Look for some sruprises tomorrow.

In Ames --- Phones were going at full blast and I am told that an army of 20 plus gathered to hit the streets for State House candidate, Chad Steenhoek.

Out East --- Phones slammed... full capacity. Oh and epic Halloween costume phone bank that made the local news.

In Osceola --- Massive rally at 1pm for their hometown gal and the next Lt Gov, Kim Reynolds. And when I say massive, I mean wow. Got lots of emails and texts about this on how impressive it was for a Southern Iowa stop.

I know there tons of other stories and this is just a small snip of it... but the message here? Full onslaught from Iowa Republicans at all levels at the grassroots level. Also, peeps are fired up. More to come... Stay thirsty...

Oh and sidenote from the weekend? How 'bout them Iowa Hawkeyes? Que the party dance...

POTUS 43 still has it...

OK, not so much of a campaign update... but did you all see the Presidents Bush last night in the World Series? Yeah man... 43 still still throws a good pitch... You know those bumper stickers that say, "Miss me yet?" Judging from the reaction of the crowd, methinks yes.

Obligatory grammar and spelling post...

After going back and reading my posts from Saturday... and well most of my posts in general... I am a spelling and grammar fail.
Somewhere my english comp teacher, Ms. Frana, is beating her head against a wall.
Which is kind of funny... I think Ms. Frana could see the future... I remember her yelling at me everytime I handed in a paper... she would say,
"Grant, you can either learn this or end up drinking beer in an apartment in Mason City all day."
Turns out she was right, NIACC alum 1998... Anyways, I apologize for the errors... bit loyal readers know better.
More to come.... Stay thirsty.

Krusty knows what's up...

We start our Balls to the Wall coverage this Monday with a nice little shout out from the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the Blogs, Hershel Krsutofski.
Dude, good to know we're all on the page. Here's his stuff from this morning.
I don't know why this bit bothered me so much... Probably just because it was about the stupid thing I've seen in while.... And friends... this is saying something.