Hey there QCI-ders! Or for many of my loyal readers... welcome back to the Circus. Good to see some peeps in town.So... I guess this is the obligatory, "Hey the legislature is back in town" post.... because... that's all that peeps are talking about... and for most QCI-ders... that's what's on their mind. So... I already said, I'm not smart enough to do a preview of this thinger. I mean... there are 100s of more peeps that could give you a better break down...
So I'm not gonna try one... kind of like my approach to the game of golf... I just don't want to slow everyone down on the course... so... I'll meet you at a bowling alley or something.
But... since all of the cool kids put out some sort of an agenda for each year... I thought I would get together with my crew here at QCI HQ and put together an agenda... Sure... I'll probably have some really stupid laws I want passed... and of course all for my benefit... whoah... I sound like a lobbyist... so yeah... keep a 2x4 handy to hit me in the head... because... If I say something that sounds remotely like that... smack me in the face.
Alright... here's our 2010 Agenda... in no particular order of importance... because... all of these are important... duh... because it just is... OK... 2x4 please...
BUDGET - Um, figure it out. Seriously. I mean... I've said it for years... and I'll say it again... If we can park a golf cart on Mars and I can watch any NFL game on my phone... we can figure this out...
GET DONE FAST - Yeah... um, because it seems the longer you peeps are in town... the more damage you do... so... yeah... do the work and leave. I mean this in the nicest way, of course.
SUPER BOWL MONDAY - Yeah... make it a state holiday... just for that week... make Monday your Friday... since you all leave Thrusday. For real. You think that's a waste of taxpayers' time? Uh... do I need to list the other wastes of time that goes on up there? Yeah... a day isn't gonna kill you.
NEED MORE CASH? Then get some scrapers out and get that gold off of the Dome... haven't you seen these commercials? Sell your gold! Yeah... you can even sell it somewhere off of SE 14th Street... oh... and if the dome must be gold, hit the Home Depot... get some spray cans... same effect... I know you peeps are handy... when you all are pouting in meetings waiting for the other side to budge... you can either scrape or paint... think of it as new cash in the coffers... and team building... um, but I'd wait until we get temps in the 40s... because I care.
NON ESSENTIALS - So... if you're gonna cut non essential parts of the budget... get rid of them. For good. I mean... if I can figure it out... you can too. If families across Iowa are cutting stuff... should the State?
COMMON SENSE - Get some.
OK... that's all I got. I know lame. And probably really stupid... Like I said... peeps more smart than me could have done a whole thing... make fancy graphics... professional booklets... score you free food over the noon hour... have thousands of phone calls made to you... hand out cheesy trinkets... spiffy t-shirts... run attack ads with super creepy music... have a ginormous rally on the west steps... yeah... Or... I could have made required reading of my book, "I'm Sorry... I'm Sorry That I'm Awesome"... a law... or the mullet as the official state haircut... but... Hmmm... Maybe you can legislate awesome.
So yeah... until then... stay thirsty... and enjoy some Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels...
