How's it going QCI-ders? If you are sick of Winter raise your hand. Yeah... this is not epic at all. But we live here... so deal with it... Now today's really horrible update is gonna throw you off a bit. Some may say... that I have no right at all to have this opinion or even say it out loud... They are probably right... but today's FB Status got us to this point... so we are gonna go right to it...QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY
"So and so... If I see another cartoon tie in this building I think I'm going to jump over the banister."
Urgh... I've talked about this before... and believe it or not... This maybe one of my biggest pet peeves in politics... and or in formal wear... Horrible crappy ties...
FASHION ADVICE FROM G$? - Yikes... Like I said... for those who know me pretty well... know... I'm absolutely not a fashionista... I mean... My wardrobe consists of... my work clothes... t-shirts... um... pretty much anything that has Chiefs or an arrowhead on it... obligatory Hawkeye Bowl shirts... Jerseys... Random Stanhope State gear... sneakers... Nantucket Red pants... too many baseball caps... super worn out/chewed up sweatshirts... oh... and a million campaign shirts... but I've been trying to cleanse myself of those lately... one can't have so many Ganske for Senate shirts... right? So yeah... I'm the last one in the World to say... yeah... that looks bad... BUT... Politics... work... formal events and parties... going to church... and/or anything involving a suit, jacket and tie scenerio... requires that most of the time... you gotta be formal... look professional... (Or in my case, hit the car wash and get hosed down)... get a little cleaned up... look nice.... So at these events... at the Capitol... meetings... whatever... it comes down to this... you're gonna need to wear a tie.
Fellas... we get it easy. The ladies are spending all sorts of cash to look great... but dudes? Yeah... it doesn't cost much for us to look good... just a decent tie... for real. But... one bad decision... and you can fail instantly. Now this maybe my only real snobby personal opinion I have... so fellas, listen up... I'll explain...
TIE FAIL - Per the FB status... Dudes... knock it off with the crazy ties. No more cartoons... the Space Jam movie marketing team called... they want their tie back. And yes... I love me some USA... but you do not need to wear the tie where the 4th of July threw up on it... You're not Don King... it works for him... not you... c'mon son. Yes... I know you are showing your personality... what you dig... what team you root for... but you'll end up like a fool... its as bad as your pants on the ground. Oh... and I also loves me some Rush Limbaugh... totally do... but don't buy his ties... unless you do not want to be taken seriously... they are a disaster...
DECENT, SHARP TIE - Alright, you cannot go wrong with a solid color tie or one with stripes... yeah a power tie... or conservative tie... whatever you wanna call it... And there's really no excuse... Too expensive? Hell nah... you can score great ones for like $10-$15 at TJ Maxx or Marshalls... and most outlet malls... Brooks Brothers in Williamsburg... Awesome ties... designer names... on the cheap... and it'll look like you half way know what you're doing... good to go.
WHAT DO I GET? Alright... the tricky part... Now... what color? Style? A loyal reader said this, "My motto with ties: 2 to 3 color, repeating pattern or stripes." But... If you get stuck with that... and still can't figure it out... this is when you call the ladies. They have some wierd Jedi mind thinger when it comes to how we look good and such... so if you are struggling... holler at your girls... seriously... it never fails. And they will also tell you this... put the "Who Wants to be a Millionare Regis" tie/shirt combo... where you found it... reruns on television... not you... Only exception there is... unless you work in "waste management"... and if you don't... leave that look where you found that... on the Sopranos.
BUT I WANT TO BE FUN! Yeah... so you're a huge fan of your team... love cars... you go fishing every weekend... and you want to be fun while showing your personality with your tie. Awesome. Totally hear ya. This is a good thing. So... how can we do that without looking like a disaster? I have the solution for you... welcome to the gold standard.... Vineyard Vines. This is where you go. You can show all of the character you want... and not look like a fool. For real... check it out fellas... no need to go anywhere else for unique... fun... ties. These are the best ones I know. Fun and busy, but not crazy or tacky... But if that gets too expensive for you... there are other similar shops out there... a little cheaper.
EXCEPTION TO THE RULE - Alright... I have one exception on horrible ties... Christmas. Your safe... but only wear them during the Advent calendar.... or FAIL... I mean... Christmas is the only time for all things cheesy... see also... Ugly Chirstmas Sweaters... but that's it... no where else can you wear a hideous tie.
SHIRTS, ACCESSORIES... Yeah... now if you're gonna be a fancy boy about it... pink elephant cuff links and all that jazz... I got nothing for ya... I'm from Iowa... and a small town... the only uses I have for French Cuffs is for tuxes... But that's just how I roll... plus... if you score POTUS ones... solid, cool. But then again... see picture above... I'm no fancy boy... But if you'll notice... its a solid green tie... matches the jacket... and its the Tommy Boy look... so it actually looks better than... the random dude who thought the Sponge Bob Square Pants tie was a good idea...
So there you have it. I hope this horrible advice helps. Seriously... this comes from a little time spent on the campaign trail... and my only snobby opinion I have... the only thing that may make me country club-ish... but thats it. Hmmm... maybe... but I also subscribe to the idea of... "Save the suits for when your dead" theory... And basically to me... going preppy is dressed up. I blame my time spent with Southerners and peeps from the East Coast... what's a deer lick from the midwest to do... right?
Alright fellas... go get cleaned up... score a decent tie... and crank this tune. Thank you and stay thirsty...
