"What the hell are you talking about?"
I'll tell ya... because I gots some emails about it.
"Yea, what's up with dat? You givin a crap about state stuff?"
Now you're getting it... I don't know why... something just snapped... hence the "Damn It Rants" or DIRs for you cool kids who are in the know...
Now... for some reason... I always felt that state issues were a bit more complicated... I would have to give a ring to couple of buddies and ask, "Am I f'ing getting this right? This thing would mean this... so this would happen and then BOOM... shitstorm, right?" Then my pals would say, "Yup... just like that." Then I would be like, "Cool, so I half way understand what I think I'm talking about."
This post could have totally ended up in a complete DIR today... no question... but kind of feelin' like Jules at the end of Pulp Fiction today... you know, because Lent starts tomorrow... and I'm narrowing down my list of stuff to give up... (and yes, I always try to pick the hard things to give up, so get off my ass)...
I'm trying to stay calm about what's going on in the State Senate... but... alright... then sudden Teen Wolf moves begin to happen...
What in the Hell?!?!?!?!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IITTTTTTTTTTT!
Didn't we already go through this?!?!? DAMN IT! THE FRIGGIN' ELECTORIAL F'ING COLLEGE!!!!!!!! Call me John McEnroe because I'm saying, "YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!!!!!'
I'm getting f'in releases from press peeps because we have abosolutely nothing else to do, but make our state irrelevant!!! DAMN IT! This is some twisted "Way Way Way Before April Fool's Joke"... right? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!
Thanks a lot... now you did it... E - LECT - ORAL F- ING COL-LEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!
Awesome, that's really awesome. Yup, this is the best idea ever... yup... wow, I'm sure glad those peeps up in the Senate have all figured out. Cool. I feel so better now... because... you know... DAMN IT!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!!!!
[Bam... crash... glass breaking...]
G$ - DAMN IT!!!
[sound of walls getting holes put in them with George Brett signature Louisville Slugger]
G$ - ARRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!! IT!!!!!
[neighbors outside gathering in front of building]
Neighbor 1: Dude, what's going on with G$?
Neighbor 2: Dunno man... either he's watching a Chiefs game or he's watching the news... he's political you know...
G$ - SON OF A.... [crash]
Neighbor 1: Nah man... it ain't football season... it's a politcal thing or something...
Neighbor 2: Oh yea man... cool... man, remind me not to talk to him during football season...
G$ - ARRRRRGHH!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!! [smash]
Neighbor 1: Yea or this Erectial... Erectal... Electoral... College or something he's talkin' man...
Neighbor 2: Yea man... he really flips his lid man...
G$ - DAMN IT!!!!
[sound of snapping 2x4s]
Neighbor 2: [yelling] Yo G$, man... you need a beer man?
[demolition noises stop]
[G$ comes out of door... with a death glare that could cut cement]
[Neighbor 1 throws G$ an ice cold Milwaukee's Best Light Tallboy]
[G$ slams beverage... lights cigarette]
Neighbor 2: Man... the land lady is gonna be pissed, man...
G$: [smirks] You dudes have a broom I could borrow? Maybe a Shamwow?
Neighbor 1: Yea man... Whoah... when did you grow out all of that sweet hair man?
G$: It's a mullet thing...
[Neighbor 1 high fives G$]
Neighbor 2: Nice man... that's like the greatest haircut in American History... let's get you that broom, man....