Zombies? Soviets? State Chair Race? Oh My!!!

IF YOU NEED YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT – You don’t need to see the dude from Indiana Jones… you just have to be a Chiefs fan. Seriously yo… I thought being a Hawkeye fan was bad for your mental health… nope… it’s being a Chiefs fan. But now it’s kind of expected now that they will disappoint you… kind of like going to Old Country Buffet. Sounds like an awesome idea… until you get there… eat… and well, then you are disappointed.
STATE CHAIR RACE ROLLS ALONG – So, QCI-ders have been following along with this race… just like everyone else in the Rightosphere. To paraphrase Tim Russert, “Technology, technology, technology.” And it appears that Matt Strawn is dominating this aspect of the debate. Eastern Iowa Conservative was first to talk about it. Then the FlyBoys in their latest dose of the dope. D-Chung is chirping… and the patriots at Iowa Defense are following the buzz. While Krusty is impressed… he’s staying tuned. And McCroskey offers a scorecard over on the good ship FlyBoy. While it’s freaking cold out… look for this thing to get red hot…
QCI MOVIE ALERT – Will we bust out the Movie Mongol? Hmmm... Anyone else out there excited to see The Wrestler? Hell yes man. We wouldn’t be all El Camino if we weren’t into a heart warming story about professional wrestling. Plus, it has Marisa Tomei in it… which could possibly be #2 on the all time “Will Never Happen G$” Crush list, behind Ms. Shue of course.

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY
“So and so… is pumped that Bobby scored last night!”

OK… this status would be ten times more funnier if you didn’t know this person was talking about hockey. Wait… oh… now I get it now…

QUITE POSSIBLY THE COOLEST SITE EVER – So, we thinks we’ve found our favorite website of all time. You guessed it… Jared Allen’s personal website. Also, if you are looking for a last minute Christmas gift for the editor of the World’s Crappiest Blog… here’s a place to start.
HAWKEYE AWESOMENESS FACTS OF THE DAY – Not only is Shonn Greene the best running back in the country… but it looks like Iowa State will taking one giant leap backward in their football program. Also… look for the Ballad of Gene Chizik to be #1 on Billboard this week.

AND FINALLY… Here’s the new video from Metallica to get your inner Cold War fired up.

OK QCI-ders… we’re getting to what is known over here at the QCIHQ as Metalli-Weekend… the new album is out and glorious… and our heroes of metal will soon be in Des Moines. As promised, we would try to smush Metallica and all things randomnous together. We’re also going to try to get some heavy discussion… so chime in… seriously dudes… I’m the only crappy blog out there who is on the lowest of low security when it comes to cmments… so let’s get chirping.

I’ve been asked a ton of times… “G$, what’s your favorite Metallica song?” My honest answer… it depends. Depends on the mood, situation, ect. I also have a top 5 going at all times… it’s always changing. So today, I will reveal… my top 5 Metallica songs and top 5 things going on out there… let’s see how this works. …IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

STORY 1: QCI EXCLUSIVE - THE WORLD’S CRAPPIEST BLOG CALLS THE RACE IN THE 4TH DISTRICT
With no precincts reporting, QCI is calling the race for the 4th Congressional District seat to Tom Latham. Yes… we know this a bit jumping the gun. But for real… Team TL is run the best campaign of Latham’s career… Becky Green-who is out of money… and is noga… noga… not gonna win. You heard it here first. Did we jump the gun? Use and abuise the comment section.

SONG 1: ENTER SANDMAN – LIVE FROM THE FREDDIE MERCURY TRIBUTE – 1992
One of the best live version of this song… I think… just by crowd reaction.

STORY 2: SENATE DEBATE
Reed comes out swinging and Tom Harkin is pissed. Hey Tom Tom, did you realy think you were gonna get a pass on this debate? While you may think you are at Grassley status… um… you ain’t there yet. Anyone watch it? What di you think?

SONG 2: NO REMORSE
Just like Reed last night… no remorse, no regrets… and one of my favorites from the Kill ‘Em All album

STORY 3: THE CHIEFS REALLY SUCK
No question about it…. The quarterback situation…. Larry Johnson… Tony Gonzalez and everything in between… good news is we can get rid of King Carl when this is over.

SONG 3: TO LIVE IS TO DIE
Yea… just like being a Chiefs fan… love this one…

STORY 4: SUPER DUPER SATURDAY FOR GOP THIS WEEKEND
So you get McCain-Palin visits and the Reagan Dinner… who’s going?

SONG 4: THAT WAS JUST YOUR LIFE
One of the greats from Death Magnetic… WOOT!

STORY 5: NO HAWKS THIS WEEKEND
Which kind of sucks… Hawkeye Hooliganism is the wave of the Future…

SONG 5: NOTHING ELSE MATTERS
Metallica, Football and Cold Beer… nothing else matters…

MASTER! MASTER! Alright… so we’re still counting down to Sunday. I really can’t wait to hear the new songs played live from the Death Magnetic album… which is slowly but surely becoming my new favorite. Could even rival the Justice album with me… “GASP!!! WHAT!?!?!?!” Yea dudes… it shreads so well. But I would have to say they are at a tie right now. Do youself a favor and crank “My Apocalypse”… Holy Hetfield that thing is awesome… but let’s get back to the scoop of the day….

Today we are going to what many call the best Metal album of all time Master of Puppets to discuss our scoop of the day. As Radio Iowa is reporting… Chris Hagenow is getting hit on federal issues in a mail piece hitting the west suburbs… courtesy of Damage, Inc. (aka the Iowa Democratic Party) um… he’s running for STATE House… but nice try.

Basically… they are citing the State Republican Platform to stretch this more than a size 7 and a half hat on my larger than large noggin. And they use the Polk County GOP Site as a source. Which… unless I’m completely slow… I’m having a hard time finding the party platform on there. They have a worse works cited than any paper I turned in at the U of I… and that’s saying something… like they don’t care about the truth… just get it out.

But the Dems should becareful what they wish for… do they really want folks to examine their platform? You wanna talk about bizarre platforms… how about riding the fence on Israel? They are the Master of Puppets…

“What do you mean Master of Puppets G$” Look at Hagenow’s opponent, mayor of Windsor Heights, Jerry Sullivan. I’ve seen some of his ads… they are running him as the middle of road, good guy thing on TV. We’ve seen this in the past 2 cycles… moderate Dems… probably would vote our way a couple of times… but the Master of Puppets in the dem State House Leadership will be, to paraphrase, “…pulling his strings, twisting his mind and smashing your dreams.” See also the smoking ban votes, right to work, ect… their candidates deep down will want to do the right thing… but then, the Masters will remind them how they got elected… and then they will “Promise only lies…” And then “laughter, laughter… all you’ll hear and see is laughter… laughing as our state budget cries….”

So there you go… the House Democrats… the REAL Master of Puppets… hit it boys…

DUDES… THE Metallica countdown continues here at QCI. But I figured you all would get sick of it… yup… you are. So in a little twist… when talking about the scoop that you are all following, I will make an attempt to use a title of a song from the glorious Metallica catalog. Let’s see how this goes…

WHERE EVER I MAY ROAM – Team Straight Talk will be making 3 stops in Iowa this weekend. Look for good sized crowds out of this. The NW Iowa should be off the hook!
HERO OF THE DAY – Looks like 3M took it to loebSACK last night. Smoker Hating Emily and Crew and Hershel give props… even using the Lloyd Benson line… nice! This is the QCI MUST SEE VIDEO… HAVE MORE COMING STAY TUNED!!!
HARVESTER OF SORROW – I talked about the stupid ass DMR ads before… instead of instilling the doom and gloom on the radio… they should stick to stretching an international story that has the weakest of the weak Iowa ties… You know, let’s say a volcano erupts on some island in the South Pacific... the DMR will dig up a story about a person who was there on vaction who’s cousin’s sister’s daughter’s college roommate’s bridesmaid’s hair dresser was from Iowa… and that is truly an Iowa connection to run above the fold on front page.
LEPER MESSIAH – Love that song from the Puppets album… say “Messiah” and thought Obama right away… “Bow to LEPER MESS- I-AHHHUH!” Love that part...
CREEPING DEATH – Now… not sure how this song ties with the Flyboys… but… these guys are rockers. I have a feeling that when they are about to take off for another flight of righteousness and sixth grade humor… they would crank that tune… so good… just like their post today.
…AND JUSTICE FOR ALL – This song, just by it’s title… is so Hawkeye GOP. D-Chung has been laying down the justice like no other… and I don’t think he’s been given enough props for it. So here’s to you D-Chung (which is your new QCI nickname BTW)…
FADE TO BLACK – This goes to Uncle Ted… Sporer… listen, I’m the last guy to bitch about no posts… but come man! I’m sure The Real Sporer is brewing up some goodness.

AND FINALLY… Your Metallica tune of the day… and in case you were wondering… yes, I have those wrist bands and will be rocking them like no other on Sunday night… crank it mofos!!!!!

ALRIGHT DUDES… There’s a whole bunch of stuff going on. There really is. So if you want to catch all of that stuff read THE Heavyweight Champion of the Blogs Krusty, The Fly Boys, Smoker Hating Emily and Crew and Contitution Daily. All are pulling enough weight that makes a DOT guy nervous as they cross a bridge on a rural gravel road.

But at the World’s Crappiest Blog, your beloved QCI… we’re going into pilgrimage mode. Why you ask?

Because the best damn band in the land is going to be in Des Moines Sunday. The Countdown starts today… complete with thoughts and all things Metallica. But not without a little QCI-der particpation… so here is your question for today… What was the first Metallica song that got you going, “Dude, these guys are damn good”? Or if Metallica isn’t your brand of economically priced macrobrewed light beer… what was the band that got you hooked on them? Chat away QCI-ders… and for your Metallica video of the day… let’s just say, crank your speakers… allow enough room for your head to bang… and thrash…

Here’s a great one to kick off Metallica week…

Alright… let’s get this crappy blog back on track with more posts.

OFFICIAL QCI REVIEW – Metallica’s Death Magnetic
Having listened to the entire album… a bunch of times… there are millions of words I would say about the 9th studio album by the Gods of rock. But I won’t, so here’s the breakdown. First, if you love the old school sound you’ll love it. It’s fast, it’s heavy… and it’s awesome. To sum up this album, let me put it to you like this… the Master of Puppets Album baby’s mama is the Justice album… Death Magnetic, be the baby. Caution, you will need a neck brace… for all of the headbanging will give you WHIPLASH!!!

RUSH LIMBAUGH – How great is it to listen to him again? Just a random thought… it’s great to be a Republican… and Rush is on his game.




THE GAME – Hell yes!!! Less than 24 hours to go! You know what QCI-ders… local sports coverage is done slobbering about Shawn Johnson… and on to better things… namely the BIG GAME, IOWA/iowa state or i-state… (seriously, you ‘Clone fans and alums are going to except this i-state branding?)

Let’s end the week with REAL smack! You got predictions? A good IOWA or i-state slam? Bring it QCI-ders!!!! There are prizes for closest score prediction. Best smack. And best comeback smack.

QCI Prediction: IOWA 42, i-state 7… but would be surprised if this game got more out of hand…

Best smack I’ve heard this week from a buddy: “I know it’s a heated rivalry with the Iowa/Iowa State game, but Senator Obama, you should apologize to the Iowa State Cheerleaders for your lipstick comment.”

Hawk fans, don’t forget to wear black! Have fun everyone! And bring the smack. Don’t bring this weak ass stuff up in this humpy bumpy!!!! GO HAWKS!!!!!!

OK… my bad on the lack of postage here. It seems everything is going 100 miles an hour with the Election coverage and commentary. Welcome to the sprint…

Seriously QCI-ders, things in G$-land are a little crazy. You got the new Metallica Album out tomorrow… (exclusive QCI review tomorrow)… It’s IOWA/iowa state week… it’s Chiefs/Raider week… and more importantly, I’m have been put on official Uncle call… (new Nephew here by Monday)… oh crap! I almost forgot!

It’s 7.2 Thursday!!!!!!

Here’s a good question for you Hawk and ‘Clone fans….

What’s your all time favorite Hawkeye and Cyclone football helmets?

Here’s some of mine…

Chirp away on the comment section… here’ the new Metallica video BTW…

Alright, now that I have totally alienated more than half of our loyal QCI-ders by doing a Hawkeye Preview and getting yelled at by my brother… let’s get back to what we do best here. Be completely random.

NEW SONG HITS TOMORROW! – Metallica is set to release the first song, “The Day That Never Comes,” tomorrow at 1:00pm Iowa time. So tune into Lazer tomorrow around then, they should have it. This is going to rule.

SIGN, SIGN, EVERYWHERE A SIGN – The McCain peeps are having a sign making party tomorrow over at the Victory HQ in Ur-bon-delay… Urbandale for you nonhipsters… I plan I being there… I’m kind of the sign making champion of the world. You heard me Mean Gean. So be there around 5:30pm. What you gonna do when McCainiacs run wild on you? Paint.

SPEAKING OF ARTS AND CRAFTS TIME – Here are a few different artsy sites for you to totally waste time on. I’m moving in a week… so I have been using and abusing Apartment Therapy. Also, if you are obsessed with sports logos… (isn’t everyone?) check out the Society of Sports Uniform Research. And if that doesn’t fill the void for your inner sports art geek, you should be reading UniWatch. It’s kind of the law.

SMACK TALK OPEN LINE TIME – Well since football is here… (yea, I count the preseason) and the IOWA/iowa state Game is less than 4 weeks away… let’s have a little contest. “Sweet!’ I know. Alright let the smacketh begin. A special prize will be given to a QCI-der for the best Cyclone Slam and one for the best Hawkeye Slam. Must be clever… the judges like 4th grade humor… just saying. I’ll start!

We have a lot of stuff for you this week. Lots of random things… with a dash of politics… As you know I rarely do more than post a day… BUT! We have something breaking…. But up the siren!!!!

*** BREAKING NEWS ***
METALLICA IS COMING TO DES MOINES!!!

YES! YES! YES! HELL YES!!!!! Alright, calm down… calm down. DUDE!!!!! METALLICA IS COMING TO DES MOINES!!!!! “Get a hold of yourself G$... you must chill!” (Deep breath) (exhale) Alright… per a Metallica Fan Club email, they released their North American Tour Dates… On Sunday, October (more like ROCKTOBER) 26 at Wells Fargo Arena the gods of metal, Metallica, will make a stop in support of their new album Death Magnetic. Opening for them with be Down and The Sword. No word on when tickets go on sale… but dude… this is gonna rule!

An official QCI pre concert tailgate is already in the works, email me if you are interested. HOLY CRAP!!!! METALLICA IS COMING BACK TO DES MOINES!!!!! Crank it up!

I know in August, there isn’t much other stuff to talk politics… but we get a little creative here at QCI to stretch a post out or 2. So here we go!

SIOUX CITY JOURNAL – Alright, so everyone knows about the riff between SCJ and Steve King… but I saw an article from the same publication today that seems like they were trying to make some big shocking news… “McCain opposes farm policies popular in Midwest”. Huh? What? Oh no! How will he win anything in the Midwest! OH no!

Um, Sewer City Journal… um, yea… that’s not news… oh I’m sorry it was news 10 months ago… were you guys even covering the Caucus? Oh, and by the way… he opposes all subsidies. Where’s Conan O’Brien’s red rubber “Ass” stamp when you need it. My apologies, but stupid articles like that are annoying and piss me off.

“G$, the AP wrote the story.” Yea, I know. Stamp “Ass” on their foreheads too. And then once more on the SCJ for running with it. Oh, one more time for putting up the comparison as well.

OH HELL YES! Told you to bust out the Pepto. If there’s a new Metallica album on the horizon… your buddy G$ money is gonna have it on the brain. From reviews and articles I’ve been monitoring, it looks like they going to some old school roots. I’m hearing that there’s a whole lot of Justice album influence with a dash of Master. Here’s a little sip of one of their new songs…


WHAT ABOUT BOB – The new and up and coming Constitution Daily blog is taking on the 2010 discussion. Looks like they’re doing a candidate by candidate preview… today CD takes a look at Bob VanderPlaats.



SCHMETT VIDEO – Ala TV Guide, I’m calling it the “One of the Better Campaign YouTubes Your Not Watching.” Yea, because it’s only been watched over 155 times or so. In a few discussions with loyal readers I’ve got a few reviews:

“I like it, nice work.” ”I like it, but maybe shouldn’t have had the candidate doing the talking.” “Clever, I like the ‘Under Secretary of Important Things’ bit… hilarious.” “Gas prices are a good issue, keep hammering on him.”



Let’s really use and abuse the comment section on your reviews of “One of the Better Campaign YouTubes Your Not Watching.” Have at it.

Cool. As in staying cool. For crying out loud was it hot. Now that it is calming down, how about a little randomous from your ole pal G$. Good, let’s begin.

SMOKE ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM - Got an interesting email from a group today that will sure get Smoker Hating Emily at Battleground all fired up again. A new group called Choose Freedom Iowa is up and going. Learn all about them by checking here. Their goal is to eliminate the smoking ban. While I’m all for it… it just might be a little late fellas.

HELL YES! In case you’re wondering, we’re a little more than a month away from the release of Death Magnetic… the 9th album of the beloved Metallica. So if you’re sick of all the Metallica stuff here… better load up on Pepto Bismol. That thing is gonna shred! Is it September 12 yet?

KRUSTY AND HIS 12 PACK – Ole Hershel did a sort of follow up piece to his 12 pack. He sure seems to have Dewaay and Rastetter on the brain when it comes to 2010. QCI chimed in with our sleeper… Mark Pearson. Don and Bruce are great Republicans and great members of the business community… but you heard it here first, it ain’t gonna happen. I’ve condensed down his list to the QCI Sack of 40s. In no particular order, here’s a more likely set up:

Chuck Larson – According to various reports, he’s been courted
Bob VanderPlaats – Has been running since the end of 2006
Steve King – The 800 pound conservative gorilla
Mark Pearson (and or another wild card) – I still think this is a name you see more than Hershel’s favorites. If he don’t’, another candidate we haven’t heard of yet… but will raise eyebrows.

Truth be told, one or two of these 4 will drop out before the primary. Because #1, it splits up a lot of factions, #2, a 4 way race… is just dumb… well it is. Anyway, that’s just my take. As I usually am... I'm probably way off.

Thoughts QCI-ders? How about trying that comment section on the interweb. Smell ya later.

Hello, QCI-ders. Long time, no post. No joke here... the editors of the World's Crappiest Blog have been uber busy. But as an exclusive for our loyals readers and for the love of Metallica... we have obtained an exclusive video.

QCI WORLD EXCLUSIVE: HAWKEYE/METALLICA VIDEO

QCI, the World's Crappiest Blog, has obtained an exclusie video where the legends of rock Metallica, performed during an Iowa Hawkeye football practice... See video below.



EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, we are Hawkeye fans... but to be honest, it's been really hard trying to be one lately. Sigh...

WATERMELON MADNESS PICS - Starting top left to right: Stanhope State University softball tournament, 100 plus year old Young and Sons Farms, parade action, EJS Police - Southern Hamilton County's finest. garage party at Whitey’s, and my cousin Kempton goofing off after returning back from the 2nd call of the night for the Stanhope VFD.

Whew… what a great weekend for the editors of QCI. Watermelon Day weekend, hanging out with family, playing a fun softball tournament (although very sore), Lion Burgers, homemade pie, watching storms run in and run out, garage parties, Barnstormers get a clutch win on the road… just good times. To sum it up in the words of the Old Milwaukee commercials, “It doesn’t get any better than this.”

Here’s a piece of Stanhope Locker beef jerky’s worth of randomnous for you to chew on.

OVER AT 621 EAST 9TH – Well the SCC meeting has come and gone… and absolutely nothing happened. Well they did do their thing. Reports and other stuff… but alas, a dramaless meeting. No shootings, knife fights, mix martial arts… not even a little M80 war (watch your fingers). David Chung has all the deets and stuff. While bloggers and gossip hounds are feeling more let down than going to a NASCAR race where there wasn’t any crashes... thank God there wasn't any drama... for once.

SOME LAPS AROUND THE BLOGS THAT MATTER – Hershel knocked out some good stuff in an article in the DMR that talks about the major challenge in the party. Smoker hater Emily at Battleground has some more crap on the troubles I the Iowa Football program. Uncle Ted is talking Convention Reform. In Flyover Country has some advice for Barak Obama.

So there you go. And to start the week on the right foot… and a little ode to the commie days on this blog, here’s one of my absolute all time favorites songs performed in Moscow… circa 1991. A quick warning… I hope you are prepared for the bad ass exhibition of straight up heaviness…

Watch how the Soviet Soldiers crack down on the kids rocking out... kind of reminds me of Court Avenue on Friday and Saturday nights with the bouncers cracking down on the smokers...