Hell yes QCI-ders! What a weekend! It was probably the first weekend in a while where I had no real responsibilities. Meaning… didn’t have to be places for work or important family functions. Just a little weekend full of just fun.GOOD FRIENDS, GOOD TIMES – So hung with my pals this weekend. It was like we were all 19 or something again. And… it was the first time I’ve attended a good ole fashioned kegger. Well… not traditional in a sense. We’re all old and stuff now. But here’s how Saturday starts with a phone call from a great pal mine.
[cell phone buzzes]
ME: What up?
MY BUDDY: [sings epic riff] Master! Master!
ME: [singing] Oh yeahh… KILL!
MY BUDDY: [sings epic riff from One]
ME: What up Homey Jomey from Wyoming?
MY BUDDY: Hey Money... Guess what I just bought?
ME: Special vinyl edition of Metallica?
MY BUDDY: Nah man, its aluminum. It has a pump. And it shines.
ME: Dude… for real?
MY BUDDY: [signing opening riff for Harvester of Sorrow]
ME: [singing] du dawh du du dut… dut dawh du dut dut….. ALL HAVE said their prayers! INVADE their nightmares!
MY BUDDY: HA HAWWWW YEAH!!!!
ME: Shut the front door!
MY BUDDY: I don’t joke about things like this.
ME: Dude, you tap it yet?
MY BUDDY: Dude, why do you think I’m calling you?
ME: Dude…
MY BUDDY: In?
ME: You had me at hello.
So it was on. And yes… per my pal’s wife… She was like, “He was like a kid in candy store when we picked up.”
WHY KEGS OF BEER ARE EPIC – We gather out west at my buddies house. Keg is tapped and then… showing our age… we begin to talk about the last kegger we attended. Because we are old… it seemed like ages ago. Then an epic discussion about kegs begins. The street cred you get when buy a keg. Especially when you’re in a suburban super market and all the other dudes are holding their wife/girlfriend’s purse… you just go to the customer service counter and say it… and of course, because you’re a bad ass…you say it a little bit louder so that many can hear you…
“Excuse me. I would like a keg of beer.”
You hear the other dudes at the store whisper under their breath…
“Hell yes.” “Bas ass.” “Man, I wish I could buy a keg of beer.” “Lucky.” “Hmmm keg.”
As we are yaking it up in the backyard. Playing some bags and washers… my pal comes up with the brilliant thought of what a keg can do to your day.
“Dude, there’s just something about it. When you’re at the store… The dude from the liquor department takes you to the back. Then wheels your keg through the store. Everyone notices you. Then he wheels it all the way out to your car. You just feel important. There’s a satisfaction you show to your fellow man. Yes dudes, I just bought a keg of beer.”
My buddy puts things in ways so that I can understand them.
THE GREAT KEG DEBATE – Of course… this always happens. How many beers are in a keg? What’s funny no one knows the true answer. There’s many different factors if you are trying to be accurate about it. Foam. What kind of cups. House Cups. Spillage. Keg stands. Topping it off. So many things. It’s like when you ask the owl how many licks does it take to get to the center of aTootsie Pop… the world may never know.
MAN UP – After long discussions… then there comes the taking it back part. What if you still have beer in it the next day? Do you have a Hair of the Dog gathering? Since we’re old we figure that’s usually out. Thus… you gotta kill the thing that night. Or else… creating a trail of tears in the morning… when you simply drain the rest in the yard. Because… of a couple of things.
1. There’s no way you’re gonna return a keg with a good amount still left.
2. There’s no way you’re gonna let the teenage punk at customer service give you the judgingly dirty look that you just returned a keg with beer still left in it.
Just like the sense of pride there is in the beginning… pride is on the line when you finish.
SO YEAH – We had a great time as always… and to rip off a bit from our pal Flyover Foodie… UNFORESEEN BONUS! When peeps ask you… “So what did you do this weekend?” You get the awesomeness answer. “I went to a kegger. What’d you do?” The person will probably look at the ground and say, “Oh, I went to see Inception with the GF. It was cool.” Then… you gotta help make ‘em feel better. “Yeah man, I heard that was cool.” But secretly you know and they know… they have been defeated. Just remember to invite them along next time.
So yeah keggers are epic. Care to share some kegger memories? Leave a comment… and crank this! YEAAAAAAAH!!!!!! Stay thirsty my friends.
