Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first. I have found the dream ticket. Just in case the Chiefs totally mess this thing up and not resign Jared Allen before training camp… I found the perfect gig for Jared Allen… Vice President. Yes, let me introduce to you the McCain-Allen ticket.
You want to pick up the southern vote? Allen’s got a mullet and bull horns on the hood of his car. John McCain will still be slinging the straight talk when it comes to Social Security. While Jared will hog tie the tax cuts to make them permanent. McCain and Allen are both very strong on defense issues. There’s no question that when it comes to foreign policy… no one can touch McCain, just like no one can stop Jared Allen on the field.
Now, you naysayers out there may say… these guys are too top heavy on defense… oh, what? Did I tell you about Jared Allen’s offensive strengths?
I rest my case. The dream ticket. McCain-Allen 2008! Do you think when they announce this team they will put bullhorns on the front of the Straight Talk Express? If so, get ready for a landslide. Or should I say, slam dunk!
Also, a quick reminder. For all you kids out in DC. Don’t forget tonight is the big night. As I posted earlier, the 2nd Annual Chad Barth Fundraiser for Epilepsy is tonight! Check out http://www.walkwithchad.com/. Get out there, give money, party it up and make it a great one!
Good luck tonight Barthy!