Breaking News - The Rumors are true... I'm Joining the Big Ten.

Yes... after a long long talk with friends, family and people that I really trust... I've decided to join the Big Ten. So get this Baylor, you can suck on that! I don't even know what that means... but we'll get to that in a minute.

Freaking Primary Night was fun. Good to see so many loyal readers and a lot of my favorite people. Pretty effing awesome that #goodjoboutofyou and #epic are going mainstream in Iowa Politics. Oh and the final verdict on the last Gameday post? Yeah... it was a little edgy. A little long... but epic. This year's writers effing knocked it out of the park. Yeah... some of the bits are probably something you wouldn't read a loud inside St. John's Basillica... but we never claimed to be here at the World's Crappiest Blog. We're sorry... we're sorry we're awesome.

So we're officially in the General Election. Let's get a little random to get caught up. So many things going...

ABOUT LAST NIGHT - Yeah... No real surprises in the Primaries... unless you look to the 2nd and 3rd. Holy blow outs Batman! Just goes to show what name ID and a good ground game will do for you. No Virginia, there will be no conventions. Which is a good deal for the party as a whole.
MOOD OF THE ELECTORATE - Last night proved what I have been saying for a long time about the Tea Party stuff. It's not as strong or this massive movement as people think. At least not hear in Iowa (and judging by results elsewhere). Don't get me wrong. I love these guys... support what they're saying... all that stuff. But it's not organized in a way the media and others make it to be... say like the Evangelicals/Christian Alliance types. Before you send your hate mail... hear me out. Tea Party types are independent by nature... Very Libertarian. Thus hard to organize or stay all on the same page. Where as your Evangelicals/ICA types... I'm just saying its easier to organize a church than it is to organize a mob. Again, I'm not saying that the Tea Party isn't realivent... it's just not the end all be all in this thing. And anyone else telling you that it is? Has a Kool Aid mustache.
NO I'M NOT IGNORING YOU, I'M IN COMMUNICATION HELL - Urgh... dammit. For those of you who know me best. Most of you think I sleep with my phone... take a shower with my phone... and whatever weird freaky deaky things you think I do with a phone? Yeah... you think I do that. Sickos. It's just the way I am. I know a lot of people. I like most of them... so therefore I like communicating with them. Hence if you've been BBMing me... you're sending them... well... to me... but here's the thing. I'll explain...

For those of you who don't know and as a special public service announcement for you slow ones up in Story City.... Coffee and Blackberries do not like each other. At. All. For real. I got one on its way... its just... completely blows goats. And not even having it on Election Night. Yeah I know... not on effing Election Night. And who's fault is it? Yeah, I'm looking at you Nebraska... way to ruin everything... Nah... seriously, for all of you who know me well... I agree with you, I can't believe this doesn't happen to me more often. There's a lot of times... if you want something totally screwed up... call me. I'm very good at it... and I'm an expert at the ridiculous.

Meanwhile I can be reached in my 1999 state of communications. Yes, that ghetto. Also... when did we all become such phone snobs?


"So and so... Voting is my favorite freedom. I just love it. During that time in the booth a diaper man's kid is just as powerful as the richest person in the country."

Kind of an epic thing this thing you call voting.

BIG TEN AND COLLEGE MADNESS - Yeah... it's happening. Also... you heard it here first. Notre Dame will join the Big Ten. As much as Golden Domers want to tell me until you are gold and blue in the face... that they never will... Yeah. You better go find that little black dress Notre Dame. Because you're hooking up with Big Ten. That's right QCI-ders... the hot hot chick that has been turning them down for date for over 100 years... won't turn him down this time. Yups... the Big Ten has figured it out with TV success... Yeah... this ain't no little fun little fling on the side you have had with the Big East. Not even close Notre Dame. You've moved on from the random hook ups with these East Coast types... And you've moved on from your idea that NBC can get you fancy things... The Big Ten like dropped some weight. Looks better than he used to. Oh yeah... and the Big Ten gots duh money coming... it's OK, we won't judge. We know you don't wanna lose out on this hunky looking sugar daddy.
IOWA STATE - Yeah... I'm looking at you Cyclone fans... you are effed. Before you send me hate mail... think about it. Seriously? You don't think so? Yeah... don't come crying to me about it. Also, stop with the "well we will just join the Big Ten... we are a natural fit." Um yeah... a... the Big Ten is gonna get some naughty time with the hot chick its been chasing for more than a Century... they totally have time for you now. Yups... because they don't. They own the Iowa television thing... and now... You'll even get to watch a Big Ten game in Western Iowa. Oh and speaking of television stuff... You I-Staters will be on the tube more often! Get this Cyclone fans... I hope you like weeknight football! Score! The MAC plays lots of games during the week. So you got that going for you. My advice to Iowa State Fans... I'd start saving those vacation days for the Fridays in the Fall. Because, you're gonna need those to recover after all those Natty Lights you had in Ames the night before. Oh and you're welcome, Cloners. It's because I'm a giver.
BIG LUG AND THE BIG 12 - Oh and Governor Culver? While you're busy getting involved in this? Don't bother... by the time this deal is done... you won't be in office. Again, just saying...

AND FINALLY... Man, has hockey season been great this year? Holy hell it has. Man... Sad to see it end here soon... but I wanna thank the Blackhawks for reminding me that the Fratelli's are epic... like I need to be remined... OK... I gotta score a burger and some hockey while it last. Stay thirsty my friends.