Freddy effing Hoiberg? Child please...

Hey there, ho there, hi there QCI-ders... Long time no talk. In a post that will surely score me some hate mail... and annoy the peeps who come here for the fun loving political coverage with a side of awesome and hint of epic... I'm sorry... but I gotta chirp about the new hire at Iowa State... because... I still don't believe this is actually happening.

Where do I start? Um... let's work through this people...

Before I go any further... Let me state for the record. I grew up on Iowa State basketball. Yeah, I know... Who knew, right? I do remember the night LaFester Rhodes lit up 54... I have Julius Mikilek's autograph (yups)... I remember REAL Hilton Magic and all that stuff. Even though the blood in my veins turned black and gold the second I stepped foot in Iowa City... I still have a closet sweet spot for ISU basketball. Very small... but still there. So yeah... got that out of the way. You can believe me or not on this, I really don't care.

This is the worst and laziest coaching hire in Iowa sports history. Yeah I said it. Why? Let's touch on the lazy part first. While Cyclone fans are glowing today because the hometown boy is coming home to coach... this "good feeling" is a short term fix to please boosters, donors and fan base who equates mediocrity with success. Sure... Iowa Staters are frustrated... longing for the good ole days when visiting teams loathed playing in Hilton. And just saying the name Fred Hoiberg... gets 'em more giddy than me hearing that Metallica might come back to Des Moines. It's a lazy hire just on the mere fact that this makes everyone happy... for now. Wait until they find out... that while we loves ourselves some Freddy... a nice name and being a school icon... doesn't make you a coach. Just ask the Phoenix Coyotes... how'd that Gretzky experiment go? Sorry Cyclone fans, legends don't always make great coaches.

So why is the the worst hire? Experience and recruiting. And you Iowa State fans who think the is a "boon for recruiting"? Pshh... please. I've gotta better shot of hooking up with Elizabeth Shue than recruits flocking just because the coach's name is Fred Hoiberg. Sure you're gonna get Iowa kids... in Central Iowa. That's it. If they even know who Fred Hoiberg is... the kids he'll be recruiting were born his sophomore year at ISU.

For real, the name Fred Hoiberg will not bring them in... recruits wise. So please. Stop. Saying. This. Now.... I'm effing serious, stop saying it. On a good side... it will sell more tickets at first... then it will get stale. Especially if the winning doesn't continue. Ask the I-Cubs if they're seeing a spike in tickets because of Ryno? A little, if they could... they would rather hire good weather than having celeb manager. Just sayin'...

So what will a Hoiberg recruiting class look like? Uh... a bunch of guards. Because... that's what he did in the draft for the Timberwolves. "But G$, Jeff Grayer will bring kids from Milwaukee." Also, you can stop making the same argument for Grayer as you are for Hoiberg. The math just doesn't work out. And oh wait... no real coaching experience. Acie Earl has more coaching experience than these two. Again.... just sayin'.

"Geez G$... you're really being a little rough on this subject. You're just saying this because your a Hawkeye. And this is coming from someone who was happy to see Steve Alford leave." Hey... at least Steve Alford had coaching experience before he came to Iowa City... had success as well... it just turned out he was a douche bag.

The take I'm getting? This is what happens when you make decisions based on who writes the checks. Alumni get all... "We need to do this... and we need to do that or no dough for you." And that's fine... That's how it works in this biz... a lot. You wanna know who this hire is really recruiting? Peeps my age and older... (late 20s to early 40s) ISU fans and grads who are beginning to replace the older alumni money donations. Plus these peeps grew up watching the Mayor.

The bad thing about this whole thing? This is a set up for failure. I mean, I really like Freddy Hoiberg. I really do. If he doesn't turn it into a winner... it will tarnish the legacy. And that's what will suck. Do you think the Cyclone Nation really has any patience left for Freddy? We shall see.

Alright... let's do this Romey style... am I off? Am I dead on? Bring the pain in the comment section. Have a take and don't suck.

Stay thirsty my friends.