OK QCI-ders... it's the most wonderful time of the year... football season... or... for some reason... the most stressfull time of the year hear at QCI... because, you see. We just turn ino jihadist Hawk fans instantly. Hard to explain, because, I'll be the first to tell you... I'm not that great of a Hawkeye fan compared to many of my close friends.
I don't read scouting reports, I don't know which Chicago suburb they come from... and usually I won't know their full name until they completely shit the bed on a play. That being said, I'm you basic jihadist nationalist Hawkeye fan. In Kirk I trust... and the Hawks are it for me once I hear Gary Dolphin on the air. Then, I become this completely different animal... kind of like the Thriller video... yeah... I have sweet dance moves...
Anyhoop, today's game against the Teachers College really tested the limits of the said Hawkeye Jihad. I mean... this off season didn't make you so proud to be a Hawk. For real... then to go through this today... child please.
Now... today's Hawkeye gameday experience was enhanced with Twitter and Facebook... of which... for my health and safety... and as well as the health and safety of others... bad idea. I mean new cuss words are created and so on and so on. Anyway... here's my very uneducated takes from today:
1. If someone asks you if you are a God, you say YES!
2. If the ball is blocked on a field goal attempt... YOU F'ING PICK IT UP OR JUMP ON IT!
3. Take away Christian Ballard's scholarship. Yup, you heard me.
4. Oh Hunter had a shot at it too? Good. Then take his scholarship away too and kick his ass out of the dorms tonight.
5. Lets hope the coaching staff and players review the rules... you know, since these guys are the f'ing highest paid state employees. Chet Culver sleeps a little easier tonight... even he knows you jump on the damn ball...
6. Someone said, "Plus look at it like this. What team can do an 8 play goal line stand and block 2 consecutive FG attempts!" Nah... I wouldn't think of this as the Hawks shitting the bed on this one... but sharting. Less messy but still not good anyway you look at it.
7. If a ball is on the ground on a field goal attempt, you jump on it. This is not rocket science. They teach you this shit in pee wee football for Christ's sake.
8. A win is a win.
9. On Iowa.
10. Go Hawks.
Whew... here's some Ocho Cinco to help you forget the Hawks sharting todays game....