QCI's 2012 Iowa Caucus List and Keys

"G$, you gotta list?"

C'mon son... everyone is doing it...

Man oh man, I love Christmas... and the Christmas party circuit! What a rockin' party over at 621 East 9th, am I right?! Great to see so many old friends, new friends, colleagues, acquaintances... and it was even great seeing the people I don't like!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just kidding. I roll like Rocky Balboa, I like just about everyone. Even you Monte Shaw.

Anyways, per usual, I've been talking to a lot of people since the big November victories. The subjects? Here they are...

What's next? How long are they keeping you on the pay roll? What are you thinking? Hear from anyone yet?

And of course...

Who do you like in 2012?

On the subject of 2012... lately the buzz I keep hearing on the street and reading in the blogs? That little list of 50 people in an article Tony Beaumont wrote a couple weeks back in the Des Moines Register.

Lists do funny things to people... especially in politics. Judging from the blogs and "on the street" chatter I'm hearing... Here are the 4 reactions I get:

1) Peeps who really don't care and don't have time to.
2) Folks who look like Rudy checking the Notre Dame dress list to see if they "get" to suit up on Saturday... because coach promised.
3) Egos who would like you to kiss their rings because they made the list.
4) The rest? They blow up like that movie producer did on CJ Craig on the West Wing... just because he dropped from #2 to #9 on the list of Hollywood's most important people.

Again, lists do funny things...

Hershel chimed in... then I saw a few others who were mostly pissed for not making the list... and/or all their buddies that got left off. Get over yourselves people.... and act like you been here before.

This prompted Tim Bowmount to write another list... Oh, and don't worry. Someone will get pissed again... or want to advocate for someone and something... and the DMR's political guy, Biff Toemont will have to write another list. (sigh...)

My take on all these lists? Yep. Everyone single one should be on there. All accomplished. All influential no matter how great or worthless you personally believe these people are. I'm as serious as a dry keg 2 hours until kick off when I said that. Are there some folks missing? Yes of course... there's always someone who didn't make Selection Sunday. It's OK... there's always the NIT... but enough of the really lame college basketball references...

You want the list? I'll give you the list... well, at least not the Excel Sheet. No way Homey Jomey from Wyoming. You all aren't that cool enough, sorry. And for some of you reading... that chick still thinks you're a creeper and you can't have her cell phone number. Sorry bro.

You're just gonna have to look 'em all up... and since you clearly have this computer thing called "the internets"... you have access to a little website called "Google." Cmon now, who hooks you up? Say it together friends, "G$ hooks us up."

At the urging of loyal readers... let's do this... And I'm sure you will think my list sucks... but hear me out. I break it down different than others... I hope you people in Story City are able to follow along....

MY STAFF AND CONSULTANT LIST

Here's who makes the cut...

1) Anyone who is from Iowa and who has been a staffer/advisor/consultant, at any level, on any campaign or official office in this state for the past 30 years. I know, you may think that's lame, but its true. And if you don't think so... You're drinking some one's or your own Kool Aid.
2) Out of staters who have spent time here. They learned how to say Nevada and Madrid... They've earned you honorary citizenship. We even like the way you talk funny. Never discount honorary Iowans
3) The ones you haven't heard about yet. I'm talking about the kid who comes from no where and gets more than 700 votes for a candidate down in Van Buren County on Caucus Night. Yeah... freakish good.

THE KEYS TO STAFFS AND CONSULTANTS:

1) You can assemble the best, most accomplished, most decorated political staffs in the history of campaigns for your Iowa Caucus staff. But if you don't have anything to sell (candidate)... you will end up with the Giants and Rangers in your World Series. If you don't get the reference (sigh), this is what it means. You can have the best team money can buy... the New York Yankees of politics... but if your candidate sucks and/or can't connect, you're screwed. Staffers and consultants don't win elections. Candidates and ideas do.
2) It doesn't matter if you've been involved since Reagan or just got the job out of college gig today... to put it simple... And I'll probably be the first to say it, you don't need "caucus experience." For real. You can take an entire day to teach a monkey about the Caucuses... and that monkey will get 10 new precinct leaders, tonight.

MY BIG NAME ENDORSEMENT LIST

Endorsements are pretty simple around here...

1) All current City, County, State and Federally elected officials
2) All former City, County, State and Federally elected officials
3) All former candidates who lost City, County, State and Federal elections
4) All heads of interest groups and their organizations... you name the association or concern... hook it up... on the list
5) Iowa Celebs... Movies stars, Athletes, Coaches or basically someone who has been on TV... once... yeah... we're huckleberries about this stuff... deal with it.
6) "That guys" and "that ladys"... You know... "That guy" who is the president of the Lions Club and serves as township fire chief... Or "that lady" who heads up the library board and is chair of the parks and recreation commission... they know everyone and are respected by everyone in their communities.

THE KEYS TO BIG NAME ENDORSEMENTS

1) Just because so and so is with that candidate doesn't mean instant votes. (that's goes for everyone on this list) There is only one organization that can produce 3,000 solid votes in Iowa. They reside on the Southside of Des Moines and are on the other side of the aisle. Do. Not. Let. Anyone. Tell. You. Different.
2) Elected officials are nice and all... but don't count on them doing a whole hell of a lot. Yes, there are exceptions to the rules... A lot of it has to do with their elected duties is why they can't do so much. That whole time thinger. For real... I'm just saying and the honest ones will tell you the same exact thing.

MY GRASSROOTS LIST

Oh yeah... the ones who give their time for free. The most important list there is on this post...

1) Past and present State Party Leaders (chairs, SCC, ect)... all of them
2) Past and present County Party Leaders (chairs, central committees, delegates, IFRW, ect)
3) Leadership of every single past campaign in the past 20 years (chairs, coalitions, precinct leaders, all of them)
4) Past straw poll and caucus attendees for the past four caucuses
5) Volunteers of every campaign in the state of Iowa for the past 20 years. Yes, all of them. Even those crappy campaigns too... all campaigns have great volunteers. Just like all dogs go to heaven.
6) The new activists who join the cause... this year.
7) And everyone else in between.

THE KEYS TO THE VOLUNTEER LIST

I'll put it simple here for you. If you don't know the keys to every single one of these grassroots volunteer lists... Step aside friend. Let the big kids handle this.

CONCLUSION?

Did I leave anyone off? Oh yeah I did. Some on purpose and some not. Why? Call me John Madden... this is the list that matters. If you can put this list together... call them. Get them on board.... maybe 25%... you too can win the Iowa Caucus.

Yes, I can already hear you typing, "G$!!!!! WHY DID YOU MENTION THIS OR NAMES!!!!" Calm down son... When I say, anyone under the above descriptions.... this is what I mean. All of them. And yes, I'll agree with you, as lame as all this sounds. You really do need Iowans from all of the described lists to win.

And if that is lame to you... or think this is way too simplified. I have a great bridge on Loucst Street I want to sell you. I'll give you a good price on it.

Stay thirsty my friends.

QCI Investigates: The Establishment

Sometimes we do have some breaking news and journalistic value for all of you. Today, the QCI Newsroom has obtained a copy of a Blackberry Messenger or "BBM" conversation from the Establishment. (insert spooky music here) Yes, THE Establishment. The ones who run, everything.

The numerous sources we have followed up with... all confirm that this is really how everything is decided.

Here's the chilling BBM transcript...

Waspy Smithfield – They really need to know who’s in charge around here.
Tanner Jones – Agreed. They will crawl back for our help.
Waspy Smithfield – Hey, do you want to meet in the smoke filled back room later today?
Tanner Jones - Hmmm… Maybe. I have a meeting at the UN. Then I have to see if my black helicopter is fixed.
Tanner Jones – So upsetting when it breaks down. It’s such a chore.
Waspy Smithfield – I know, right?! If people knew how hard it was to be the establishment, they would understand.
Tanner Jones – Totally. It’s tough being important.
Waspy Smithfield – That’s OK, we can meet tomorrow. I need to finalize my plans to start the next war for oil.
Tanner Jones – Did you get your Skull and Bones Reunion invite in the mail?
Tanner Jones – Which blazer are you going to wear? Blue or blue?
Waspy Smithfield – Yes, of course. I’m going with blue.
Waspy Smithfield – I’m also going to make a motion we change the secret handshake to something else. You know… everyone knows it’s a handshake and all.
Tanner Jones – That’s terrific. But, I for one am not much for change. Call me elitist and all.
Waspy Smithfield – You damn country clubber!
Tanner Jones – LOL! Good one!
Tanner Jones – Not to be on your ass about it, but are you done with the list of candidates we are going to throw our money behind yet?
Waspy Smithfield – I’m a little hung up with on how to start this war. But I did finish the list of who’s allowed to run.
Tanner Jones – Delicious. You know you can’t just throw these primaries overnight. These things take a little time.
Tanner Jones – Hang on a minute. Karl Rove is calling me.
Waspy Smithfield – Perfect. Tell him “all golden girls and boys fly by the seat of their swords”… He’ll know what that means.
Tanner Jones – Message delivered.
Waspy Smithfield – Ruling the world is fun.
Tanner Jones – It so is. SOMEONE has to do the thinking around here.
Waspy Smithfield – *thumbs up*

Trust no one, loyal readers. Trust no one.

Corkage Fee?

A little break from the normal stuff today... So let's turn to an issue you all can help me figure out.

OK, so call me late to the table on this. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm as cultured as my buddies tell me that I'm not really that cultured. As a loyal reader and friend told me, "Just because you know the difference between a piano and harpsichord, don't make you cultured, dude." There is some truth to that... Oh... to answer that bit for you people in Story City, it's the tones each make... basically.

Also... since I'm admitting things. I'm not much of a going out for dinner type. I know it's weird and I'm weird. I'm just not. Don' t get me wrong, I loves me some epic food, dishes and all that cheese whiz... but "dinner" not so much. I can hear the ladies reading now... wow, that's an impressive man right here.

*shrugs shoulders with a smirk*

But hear me out my fine feathered friends. Call it growing up-ish? But, I'm starting to dig or at least try a decent "dinner" or two at some foo foo joints. Yes, in G$-speak, a foo foo joints are joints that include a wine list. Speaking of this said wine list/menu thinger.... there was this whole thing on there that confused me...

"Corkage fee."

This term instantly sent shock waves to my head.

So much shock, I belted out a Scooby Doo like "Huh?"

The head guy in the mission control center in my brain says, "What the hell is a corkage fee?! Dudes?! I need some answers!" His deputy commander approaches the head guy's desk, "Could it be that you have to pay for them to uncork the wine, sir?" Head guy goes, "That's just ridiculous! Who would do that or pay for that?!!" The deputy guy whimpers, "Sorry, sir... Our experience with wine and this new 'going out to dinner' order handed out by the higher ups is... well... we're a little over our heads, sir." The head guy demands, "I need answers, dammit!"

Of which, being the moron that I am at times, I say a loud, "I need answers, dammit!" That got greeted with blank stares at the dinner table... and waiter. Coming to my senses... I follow up with a, "Alright, I'm no wino, could you tell me what a corkage fee is?"

Dudes, have you heard of this? So like... if you bring in your own wine to some restaurants... you can... you just have to pay a corkage fee. And some nights? They wave the fee! How freaking cool is that? This is like when bring your own beer to some strip club on the north side of town. OK, maybe not that extreme... and more clothes on...

But wait... Hold the phone.

Let me get this straight.

So, this corkage fee... you can bring in your own grape. But no beer? Dudes. Why is there no "pop top fee"?

This... is kind of outrageous.

So wine people can be all cool and stuff... pay their corkage fee... so they can bring in their Boone's Farm to sip while eating their croissant crepes or whatever the hell you eat with wine... but I can't bring in a case of Milwaukee's Best Light to slam while I'm killing 5 pounds of chicken wings? This... is crazy.

*disbelief look on my face with a side of outrage*

Yeah man. This is so bootleg. Peeps can can be all lay de freaking dah french-like... but Bif and the fellas can walk in with their finest ice cold Busch heavies? This is America, dudes. And this don't seem American to me.

Don't send me hate mail now... I know what you're gonna say.

"G$, you're kind of crazy. Nice, but nuts, dude."

Sigh...

Maybe those delicious Milwaukee Best Lights just belong... in some of the best places on Earth. Like in nice heated garages in Jewell... enjoyed with fried foods... with good jokes... with good tunes... with good pals... and not in foo foo joints and their "corkage fees".

Oh lay dee dah Pepe Le Pew... Maybe I'll just stick to the garage.

Question Time... Discuss...

Yes... I know. We are posting more here. You're get a little excited. I know this. I can feel it. I'm serious, we have tons of stuff coming your way. More post-election stuff... I know... kind of stretching it out it bit... (that's what she said) Here's some quick hits for you in case you feel frisky and wanna chirp in the comment section for once... OK... go!

- Efff efff efff efff!!! The Chiefs lose to the Raidahzzzz... not fun. Not fun at all... Damn you Sea Bass!

- Iowa State/Nebraska... seriously, I kick the field goal. Guts are guts... but, I kick to live another day... Seriously.

- Jeez, the Cowboys are goats. Wow.

- So how much are we spending to send POTUS to India?

- Per today's Krusty... hope delusional is Culver?

- Follow up... when did the DMR get all biased and things? (smirk)

- House and Senate Rs meet up today. Congrats to the new leaders!

- Mustache or no mustache? Got mixed reviews.... but turns out some of you love yourselves a lip sweater on my mug.

OK... discuss... and enjoy this awesome Soundgarden vid that will make you rock out with your caucus out. Stay thirsty my friends and use the comment section.

QCI Legislative Race Forcast? Child Please...

Yeah I know... I totally have zero street cred when it comes to theses races... but as my Uncle Bruce always says... "I've learned everything I know from books and people. I don't read many books but I know a helluva lot of people." Same here. From the peeps I know, numbers and straight up witnessing it... here's my little State Legislative preview for next Tuesday... or at least what to watch for in my opinion.

WHAT IT IS - Right now the school of thought is... the House is switching and the Senate is gonna get close. Which is sure just to make "Governor Gronstal" really really pissy for a while. Anyways, the good guys are getting a little excited, yet cautiously optimistic. It's been well documented that the State House and Senate have recruited very well. I've heard peeps tell me that this is one of the finer groups of candidates we've seen in a while. So good and in a great year... it has caused Speaker Murphy to even door knock his own district. Yeah.

BELL WEATHER - If you are looking certain races or region to see how well we are doing next Tuesday night in the State House... or to see how big this so called wave is... all you need to look to is Southern Hamilton County... ERRR God's Country, Iowa... And 2 races... House District 9 McKinley Bailey (D) vs. Stew Iverson (R) and Senate District 5, Rich Olive (D) vs. Rob Bacon (R)... "G$, what about Dave Deyoe?" Dude... He's running against an uber lefty... he's fine.

THE REGION AND DISTRICTS - "Why are these your bell weathers? Because you're from there?" No... but you're right, I kind of have a habit of giving love back to the motherland... but that ain't what I'm cookin'. Look, Southern Hamilton County is a Lean Republican area. Straight up by the numbers in voter registration. These Rs are very similar to what I think of Dallas County Rs. They are your Republican type of Republicans. But here comes the rub... a very unique challenge for these two races...

THE INCUMBENTS - Rich Olive and McKinley Bailey. Both Democrats... some would say moderate Dems. How the hell are Democrats winning in an area that is and should be considered safe R? Both came into office on a D wave. Bailey bested George Say-I-Corn Eichorn and Olive barely... just barely bested Jim Kurtenbach. "So what, they came in a D wave... how did they win R precincts and districts?" Family... pretty simple. For Bailey, while he has the Southwest part of Southern Hamilton County, he's a Webster City kid. And kind of part of a legacy. His father sits on the Board of Supervisors, with my Uncle Dave. So, with a last name and a family history in local and Democrat politics... that's not gonna hurt ya when you need to run up the score where need to. Plus his military profile suits him well when runnin in with Rs.

Then you have Rich Olive. Pretty solid name ID from Story City... but how the hell is he over performing in Lyon Township (includes city of Jewell) and other parts of Southern Hamilton County? If all politics are local, then in God's Country... all politics is family. Rich's better half, Marian, belongs to a very well liked and a very well respected family back home... and like every other county in Iowa, back home in God's Country... everyone has (what seems) like a million cousins. Or cousins with other cousins... you catch my drift. "Oh G$, surely you jest this is how they win." Explain to me why in a few households in Jewell have most of the R yard signs... and an Olive one? Yeah. I know....

SO DO WE HAVE A CHANCE IN THIS BATTLEGROUND? - Awe hell yes we do. Stew is doing very well. His Wright County peeps will be there... plus he's be working hard. Also look at Bacon (epic name BTW). Working hard as well... this is where the wave helps the most. My point with this entire post... is that... if the wave is here this cycle... and it seems it is. These races will tell us. Sure, we are going to have upsets in other districts... but with the obstacles and resources that have been put into both... we're gonna see what happens. Good news is... I'm hearing some good stuff. So hold on to your hats friends... this one is gonna get wild next Tuesday... Got another area I wanna chirp about... more on that soon. Until then... Stay thirsty my friends... and here's a little something to bob yeh heads to while you get your GOTV on...

Boswell vs Zaun... Cmon son!

So yeah. Brad Zaun and Leonard Boswell debated last night on KCCI... Remember when I said that I thought Leonard was an alright guy... yeah, boy... was I way off on that one. Someone gets a little pissy when you are actually starting to beat him.

As I watched and tweeted the debate... here are a few things I noticed...

THE BOSWELL RAMBLE - Urgh... the most annoying part of any 3rd District debate. When Boswell can't actually answer a question... or doesn't want to go on record on a particiular issue... you get this answer from our very effective *smirk* Congressman:

"Well, uh, that's an important issue... we're gonna need to take a look at that... get our arms around it... then have some meetings to learn more... uh... yessir that's what I'm gonna do."

IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, BLAME BUSH - This still works? Cool, because I had a hard time putting the lid on a fountain soda... I know, super annoying right? But then I figured it was George Bush's fault. And everything seemed to make sense. This is classic Leonard at his finest. When he can't tell you what his postition is on anything... he sure will tell you what ain't his position... then if he's in a real jam... it's George Bush's fault. Also... if you really him tongue tied... he'll say you are Karl Rove and using Rovarian Rovian er uh Karl Rove tactics.

TERM LIMITS ARE COOL, WAIT NO - Alright, now, the term limits bit. Eh... I have always believed the best term limits are elections... but that's just me. But, when you make a promise... then break it? Not a big stretch for most politicians. Then you answer with, "Well, I was for term limits, but then I got to Washington." Someone get Leonard some relish, mustard, ketchup and all the fixings for his foot.... it'll taste better when he inserts it in his mouth.

THE REAL LEONARD - Last night, for the first time... in a long time. We saw the true Leonard Boswell. Not the war hero that, from what I'm told, flew helicopters... Not the nice good ole boy from Southern Iowa... Actually, it was reversed... this was the angry and smug good ole boy. You know these types, the ones who are never wrong. If you make a legitimate arguement against a certain vote of his... he takes it like you just said something about his mother. Lenny, it's issues, bruh... chill and actually answer the question. How long have you been elected? Thin skinned much? Case in point that we saw the REAL Leonard Boswell last night... is his closing statement. Instead of saying... its an honor serving you... yeah yeah yeah... I'll fight for yas... blah blah freaking blah... I'm asking for your vote... yadda yadda yadda... he goes with:

"This is actually about choices. Not about those flaming things that Mr. Zaun talks about."

Nice. Stay classy Davis City.

You know, I've heard lots of criticisms on candidates... he said this, she did that... he looks like this, can you believe they did that... yeah, I getcha, alright? Last night, we saw a literally worn out smug rude politician who didn't want to be there and a man who went out of his way to be respectful to an opponent whose campaign isn't worthy of it.

Was there any game changers last night? Nah... but a clear contrast. Someone eager to go to work... And one who can't be bothered to be questioned. #goodjoboutofyou Brad Zaun... And a Cmon son to you soon to be former Congressman Leonard Boswell. Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya.

Where is POTUS? And big fat whats?

This is QCI's 500th post. Holy smokes. Losts of stuff to get at. 8 days to go. It might just be a week of mulitiple posts. Let's get to it.

WHAT ABOUT BARACK? Uh-member when POTUS was in town at your typical Des Moines backyard (heavy smirk)? Yeah... so Chet Culver kept telling everyone... and let me paraphrase a little bit,

"Dude, he is SO gonna come back and campaign for me. Before this is over. To seal the deal bro, know what I'm sayin'? He's my homie. For real, we be tight and shizznit. Barry will be back for me... (tearing eyes) he will be here... (sniffle) he so will... (sobs)..."

Really? You guys are tight? What, because he accepted your Facebook friend request? In case you missed it and judging by the blank look in your faces, you have... the White House released its schedule. No Iowa stop. No POTUS... I mean VPOTUS, Biden, is coming to Catholicsville USA... to help Braley (and THAT should tell you everything)... But... no Obama stop. Nopes, not at all. Ziltch. Nada. Just like Culver's chance at a second term. Which is kind of ironic in a way... I mean you know... Culver making promises he can't keep. It all makes sense now.

More to come... stay thirsty and just because we loves ourselves some junior high humor mixed in with our politics around here.... here's your video of the week that is making me and other like minded 13 year olds... giggle.

I Want My Two Dollars!!!

When I hear about newspaper endorsements, I always think of this kid. Dudes... anytime you can make a Better Off Dead reference... it equals amazing...

Anyways... 13 days (spooky... muwahahahaha) to go and the newsies are making their picks. Newspaper endorsements can be a funny thing sometimes... Not sure how much weight they have as much as they are another way to get your name in again... no what I'm saying? I mean... On our side... its a double edged sword if the Des Moines Register endorses you... In some part... I see it as a victory... some will see it as the communist red star endorsing... "Why don't you just say Stalin endorsed ya, ya bum!" OK, maybe that's a little bit of stretch.

Anyway... to me newspaper endorsements are weird, cool, bad and all that with a side of green beans and bacon.

I'll always remember when the DMR endorsed McCain in the '08 Caucuses... did it help? Oh hell yes it did. Why? It was a free ad... But the others scoffed... but, I argue it got us from being completely dead in Iowa... to 3rd.

The other side lives for newspaper endorsements....

You wanna know how much Democrats put weight in newspaper endorsements? Dudes... if you needed anymore evidence of the media worship the left has... read this bit by Gary Barrett in the TIR... Not only did Gary jack it out further than Pedro Cerrano in the one game playoff against the Yankees... but he shows how much these guys worship the media.... hell, after that one, I'm starting to see Lefties start calling the Gazette "right leaning"... C'mon man.

Anyways.... this Sunday or Late Saturday evening should slop your inner political junkie with a little gravy and a biscuit when these endorsements come out.

What the hell is with the food things today?

Until then... stay hungry? And a... wait... get out of your chair... no, I'm telling you. Stand up. Crank this and shake it like you mean it. Stay thirsty my friends.

Palin and Irony... We have an app for that.

As promised... here's a little more from last Friday Night... plus other things going down...

MORE FROM THE DINNER - So it was all things Sarah Palin in the DeMo. Speech was... eh. Red meat stuff. Just what the doctor orders for these kinds of deals. Had one longtime activist/consultant try to tell me that it was Reagan-ish... and yes with a straight face. Listen it was a rally up the troops thing. Which is... what you do at these deals.
ALRIGHT, I CAN'T KEEP THIS IN - Really? So, she made some dig at Karl Rove again. Party unity! Oh... that's cool. While you were mayor of Where-is-it and shooting things... Rove was... you know, only orchestrating some of the most largest historic gains in our party's history... oh and ran a few of those... dang it... (scratching my head)... what do you call them? Successful campaign election thingers? Also, he has been to Iowa. Twice this year. Oh and one last thing... it's not just you, its just a pet peeve of mine.... unless you all are best sledding friends or something... It's President George W. Bush... Not "G.W."... but that's just the Sam Seaborn in me... my bad. Cool, your pal Christine O'Something won and all of your other superfriends won. A lot with your help. Good for you. But respectfully, to paraphrase Rove who said it best... The American people will elect liberals, the American people will elect conservatives. But the American people won't elect crazy.
WHO IS THIS ESTABLISHMENT YOU SPEAK OF - I get a kick out of this arguement we seem to have in the party from time to time. I mean, I get the basic premise... I know what you are saying. But you all know we elect most of our party leaders, right? So a lot of peeps were talking about this gal out in Delaware... (insert Wayne's World reference here). Lots of chatter about it on Friday. I even overheard... and let's just call this person a big big time "Iowa Party Boss" (if that's the term we're using now)... actually had the menards to say to a group of activists, "You know, these big wigs and others really should should stay out of primaries, let the people speak." Laugh-a-freaking-ble. Hello kettle, meet black... I think you two might really really hit it off. Awe yes... party politics can be a hoot.
HAWKEYES - Urgh... All I got on this is... The Iowa Hawkeyes are like that chick you have an on again off again thing going. They'll break your heart... but you know you'll be hooking up again next weekend. And... it seems so right.
CHIEEEEEEEEEEEEFS! Dudes! The Kansas City Chiefs are undefeated! I know! It's awesome! (insert happy dance here)

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY

"So and so... wow, she doesnt just fall off the wagon, she does a swan dive. old gal stumbles in around 12:30, takes a dump on the rug, and has no idea where the car is. good times? not so much."

Best is the first comment under this one from the said gal, "I found the car!" I swear I don't make these up.

IS THERE AN APP FOR IRONY? So Team TEB released a new ad that spoofs the Apple iPhone ads and to promote their new Phone application for the campaign. Clever and well done. The kids over on Fleur Drive snarked back with a little ditty of their own... here's a quick play by play on via Twittersburgh....

@iowademocrats - We're so excited for the new Branstad app that we cut our own commercial!

Followed up with a...

@iowademocrats - To Firefox and IE users trying to view the ad, we fixed that whole "must scroll way down to see anything" problem.

Again, as I said I'm no techie... but it looks like there is an app for irony.

AND FINALLY... Don't judge me on today's tune... but on my way back from hanging with the coolest little kids I know (Ainsley and Harrison)... I was listening to Cousin Brucie on 60s on 6. (So freaking good) Anyways... as you may know, Cousin Brucie was in the movie Dirty Dancing. He had they guy who wrote the soundtrack and scores for the flick. Good stuff... so... anyways... for today's song... you many wanna dance to it. Stay thirsty my friends.

Eggs, Trains, Hawks and Law Nuts

Long time no talk.

I know, when I don't post, puppies die. It's a lot of pressure. Just kidding, nothing really has been trippping my trigger to post... you know... when it's not being said by the others in the LBC.

Anyways... here's a random round out of things... that tripped the trigger.

BAD EGGS - Alright, dudes, I love eggs. They are so awesome. But no dirt bag freaking farmer from Wright errrr DeCoster County is gonna stop me from eating them. Also... anyone see that the Sierra Club wants an investigation on these farms now? What?! You don't say. Hey Sierra Club... good to see you're wearing acid wash jeans... because you're a little behind. Sierra Club, congrats you #fail. Oh and Uncle Clint, don't eat all of the deviled eggs. OK, good.
RIDE THAT CHOO CHOO, WOO WOO - OK... so I see that the powers that be in the DeMo are pushing the train thang. Is it me or is everyone in the economic developement community are slobbering over trains? And why? Really? I'm still waiting for my flying car. All this talk is giving me flashbacks of the Springfield Monorail episode on the Simpsons. Sigh...
LAW STUDENTS AND GRADS FREAK OUT - Alright... so the whole judge thing brought Sandra Day O'Connor to the DeMo... and if you take a quick skim of the Book of Faces... the Law School types are so hyped (+1), they need to change their shorts. Stickyish? Part of me says... BFD. But then upon further review... I might react the same way if Lars Ulrich showed up to speak at Darrell Kearney's Breakfast Club... so... maybe I kinda get it. Heavy on the kinda.

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY

"So and so... Breakfast Club was at I-Hop this morning. I had the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity. Big mistake. Now i have Assy Gassy Stained and Nasty".

I will not have what that dude is having...

IOWA CITY CRACK DOWN - Alright... so the U of I is cracking down on drinking... tailgating and all that stuff that comes along with Hawkeye Football. Now, we all know the every game is sold out this season... they are making some coin on Hawk Fever. But here's a little cautionary tip to the University of Iowa and its athletic department. OK, so I get it... you hate the reputation of being a party school. That's fine. Create all the tailgating rules you want. Remember... all things are cyclical... and someday (and it pains me to say this)... the Hawkeyes will suck again. And its gonna be tough to sell those tickets. Don't try to take out all of the fun that comes with gameday when there won't be anything else to cheer about. I'm just saying.
SPEAKING OF IOWA GAMEDAY - So DesMoinesDem over at Bleeding Heartland tried to make some really freaking lame dig at our boy and loyal reader over the weekend in Twittersburgh. It was one of the most #epicfails in a while... nah, history. Seriously... this is what I don't get about you people... who the hell is watching anything else than football on weekends in the Fall? Who cares what else is going on in the world when Ricky Stanzi is laying on the ground injured? You people are heartless! Also, thumbs up to the U of I Student section for chanting USA when The Manzi marched back on the field. Love it or leave it.
MORE IOWA GAMEDAY - I've said it once... and I'm sure I'll be saying it again. Do not ask me to do anything on Iowa/Iowa State weekend... or anyone else for that matter. "Not everyone watches the game Grant." Child please. It's our state's Super Bowl. And if you still don't believe me... good luck trying to get attention for anything that day. C'mon son!
MORE HAWKEYE FOOTBALL - So the Big Ten announced the new divisions for 2011... and they now have the "rival game" on each school's schedule. Purdue? Really? I'm going to have shirts made next year that reads, "Um, I guess... I really really really freaking hate Purdue." But here's the real question. How can the Big Ten have "mandatory rival games" when just about every week in the Big Ten is a rivalry? Again, I'm just saying.
SPEAKING OF MORE EPIC FAILS - Leonard Boswell's campaign is on life support. Question is when will the DCCC pull the plug? Can't wait for Election Day on this one. When Zaun wins, I'll bet 50 bucks Leonard doesn't call to concede. Why do I say that? Because that's about as classless as the IDP YouTube put up for this race. I get that a hit is a hit... but if this is all you got... all I'm saying is... I look forward to hearing "Congressman Brad Zaun" used in sentences.

AND FINALLY... Just chill... until the next episode. Stay thirsty my friends.

How many days?

How many days until the election? Hmmm… how many? Oh. Oh yes. There’s 69 days until Election Day. *heavy heavy smirk* Just a quick hit here… oh don’t you worry, there are scores of more things to chirp about.

ABOUT LAST NIGHT - Man, late primaries may be a little foreign to us… but, how awesome are they? For me, watching other state’s primary election returns are like watching game 7 of a playoff series with 3 games all. I did tell you I’m a county supervisor for Dork County, right? Last night we got a little taste or maybe a little bit of political junkie fix with 5 state’s primary elections. John McCain won the nomination comfortably after a stiff fight… and we had ourselves a good ole street brawl in all sorts of races in Florida. Some mixed bags out there on what happened… But one thing is showing up and look for it here locally… because this will be the formula as we’ve already seen in the 3rd Congressional District.

Here’s the game plan for anyone "in trouble" to paraphrase Tim Russert: Go negative, go negative, go negative.

Look at the McCain race in Arizona, look at the Murkowski race in Alaska. Which one went negative? Which one didn’t? Which one won? Better stock up on brown paper bags on this Fall’s election. Because this is good she’s gonna look, if you catch my drift.

STATE VS FEDERAL - During all of the coverage yesterday, Politico’s Jonathan Martin had a tweet than rang some sense when it comes to campaigns in any state.

“FL great example of chasm btwn what folks in dc care about (Sen) and what pol class in state cares about (Gov)”

Let me translate for those not in Twittersburgh…. He is saying something like Florida is a great example of what DC/National peeps care about (US Senate and US House) versus what the political class in the state cares about (Governor, Legislature). This isn’t the only truth in Florida, but I argue every state in the union. It couldn’t be true here in our home state, but we being Iowa… always can have a twist on it. And why is that you ask? Let’s break it down.

State races will always out Trump and Federal race. Think about it. JMart talks about the political class in state, who’s that? Lobbyists and their associations… Elected officials and their constituencies… Political parties and their members… Big business owners and Unions…. so on and so on. It’s pretty simple. Where’s most of the political and monetary influence in Iowa? The Stateside. This is where they get their meal ticket and influence. It’s not rocket science.

Just thought that was a good take that’s not said enough. What do you think? While you chirp in the comment section... Get out of you chair and show off your epic moves to a littleTerence Trent D'Arby... Stay thirsty my firends.

The Big Upset you're not reading about... yet.

Things are finally starting to get interesting around here. One of my very favorite things about politics is the people. Old friends, chairs, former colleagues… it’s the best thing about politics. Lately, I've been hearing from some folks and been studying some things with my view in the cheap seats. Good ole Leonard Boswell. I have had my run ins with him over the years. And I gotta tell ya, he's a great guy and nice fella. It’s true. This is why he’s been so successful in all of his tough elections.

Every cycle, we’re told how Boswell is in trouble. He usually is, but that’s just because of the district make up and his voting record. Nothing new here if you been following him since he won Jim Ross Lightfoot’s seat in Congress in 1996. Cycle after cycle we are pushed to believe this hype. In 2010, this hype is real. Leonard Boswell is in trouble. Deep deep trouble. The 3rd Congressional District has been the bell weather for the past few cycles. Finally this year, no storm shelter is sturdy enough in Boswell’s case.

ENTER ZAUN – We may have the perfect candidate, Brad Zaun. Look at the stats. Well liked, hard worker… good record and experience. But the key here is he knows everyone in Polk County, all thanks to his tough State Senate race a while back. Most Central Iowa voters (code for Polk County) know his name just from the television blitz that was ran. How do you think he won the primary? Name ID. There are people in Altoona who probably think they have voted for him in the past… just because of his name ID.

POLLS – I remember everyone being so surprised Brad won with a large margin in the primary. Didn’t anyone see the first poll in that race? That huge lead he had? Why are we surprised? It is the next poll that raised eyebrows, the post primary poll that showed Zaun up 10. Sending sonic booms over on Fleur Drive. A few weeks a go… another poll was released, showing similar results. You can argue and dispute polls until you’re blue in the face... but friends, this creates the trend. Also, has the other side disputed this trend? I think I hear crickets.

BOSWELL AD – Leonard’s campaigns have always been well put together. Disciplined and steady. But I’m not seeing this or hearing this in the 2010 version. You don’t have to look further than his first radio ad released. What happened to the ad that plays every 2 years that reminds us that he used to fly helicopters in the Army? If you needed to learn anything about how well Brad Zaun is doing… it’s this ad. For the first time that I can remember, Leonard Boswell has started a re-election campaign with an attack ad. Not from the DCCC, from his pocket. What is more surprising… the ad is a complete swing and a miss.

Oh, you think I jest? The main part of the hit is that he’s against renewable fuels. And Team Boswell was sneaky enough to have audio of Zaun making a statement. Well, at least the ad was done well. But other than that it’s a swing and a miss… mostly on the issue they choose to hit.

YEAH I KNOW IT’S IOWA – Yes, renewable fuels, ethanol and all that jazz is important here. I don't believe this translates into an effective attack on Zaun. Think about it. What county dominates the 3rd? How many of these people in this county does a renewable fuels impact? The reason why this is a swing and a miss is because this issue gets lost in translation. Only in the 11 rural counties does this make an impact and the majority of these areas are good for us anyway.

I’ll argue that the ethanol, renewable fuels stuff gets a little over played here. Now before Monte Shaw starts blowing up my phone, yes this is a big deal for Iowa. You don’t have to sell it to me. My family depends on this industry. What I’m saying is… it’s a little over used and was used poorly in the first attack on his challenger. If this is the best issue they have to start with… he is in trouble.

It’s a weak hit and not characteristic of a Boswell Campaign.

WHY BRAD ZAUN IS GOING TO WIN – In all campaigns, you always have to lay out lists of strengths and weaknesses. In a good race, someone figures out how to do the things better their opponent. And usually figures out how to do things better at the very same thing their opponent is the strongest. But default, because who he is… Brad Zaun is beating Leonard Boswell at his own game.

Why does Leonard always win? People like him. It’s true. I like the guy. If you happen to catch him grocery shopping at IngerDahls, you witness it. He’s friendly and polite. Doesn’t ruffle too many feathers when he votes. He’s your Grandpa. This is why he does well all the time.

Usually, his campaign and the DCCC will create a narrative and make his opponents, bad guys. It’s true. Stop your fibbin’ sound familiar? That punk kid attorney from Des Moines… the Rich Kid with silver spoon? Remember all of these? A strategy that creates him is the nice guy and gives reasons to dislike the opponent.

Creating some argument to create Brad as a bad person or some bad label simply won’t stick. He knows everyone. People know him… and they like him. When you run into Brad Zaun, even if you disagree with him on an issue, you can’t help to just to not like the guy. He’s genuine with his answers, always energetic and will tell you what he thinks. Just a straight up fun and great guy.

By Brad, being Brad… he is beating Leonard Boswell on his own schtick. You think this is an over simplification of why Brad is winning? You can hear me now and believe me later. The only way Boswell is going to make a dent… is to be what he’s not. A jerk and a junkyard dog. This is the only move he has left. Once this happens… not only is this going to sink Boswell… the bad news is… because National Democrats will become so desperate to keep this seat.. or any seat for that matter... they will destroy a reputation of one of their own. A decent man.

Good news is… its August. It’s too late. I’m not sure why hits weren’t coming in the middle of June. This is the same reason why Culver’s apology at the fair is late. Timing is everything… good thing they must be out of batteries for their clocks over on Fleur Drive.

I John Kerry'd on the State Fair...

OK... I so a lot of things have changed since I posted last. My good pal Wes convinced me that I should give the State Fair a... "fair shake"... oh look, I punned. Anyways, I took him up on it. This is when I had my Green Eggs and Ham moment with the Fair... here's how it goes down.

Hey! Let's go to the Fair!

We shall drink beers and have loads of fun!
You in for the Eastside? C'mon son!

I don't like the State Fair, Wes,
I hate the State Fair, Wes-I-am.
When I went, I always had to work,
I'd get way too hot wearing a button down shirt.

Working numerous days I did not enjoy,
Spending too much money on food, oh boy!
I would get overheated in the sun,
Working there numerous days was not so much fun.

They would ask, hey, is this pen was for free?
I'd say No! No! You leave me be.
I'd listen to Clifford singing over and over again,
My mind would scream, Lord, please make this end!

I so dislike the Fair, my friend Wes,
I would rather go out in a poke-a-dot dress.

I would not go there if BB King were singin the blues,
I would not go there escorted with Elizabeth Shue.
I will not go for the food of the Fair,
I would not go to see the '85 Bears.
I will not go there on a fast jet,
I would not go there to see George Brett.
I will not go there to scope out hot chicks,
I do not care about your pork chops on a stick.
I will not roll to the Eastside,
I will not go even if you drive.
I will not go there even if you can smoke,
I will not go there to see the Pope!
I will not go there to rock out to '80s bands,
I would not go there with hundreds of dollars in my hand.
I so much dislike the Fair, so much this is clear,
I will not, would not go if they had free beer.

I do not like the Iowa State Fair!

I do not like it, Wes-I-Am.

You hate the State Fair, so you say,
You're not working it now, so try, try it if you may.
You might like it and all the libations,
You will like it with zero work obligations.

Wes, I don't know,
With all the food and all the shows.
It may be a wash, I don't know,
It’s been a while since I had to go.

I don't have to work it and this is true,
I still find it hard to believe you.

I find it hard to believe you, Wes-I-Am.

You will like it, these are your people,
This is your Church with the things and the steeple.
We shall go tonight and it will be fun,
Cold beer, fried food and much less sun.

Wes-I-Am, if I go and don't like it, will that be fine?
I don’t like it but it sounds like a good time.

OK.

So I will take you up on this trek,
Can’t promise I’ll like it, I won’t make any bets.

Wes-I-Am?

Yes.

I just saw 7 people wearing Metallica shirts,
Wait, hear those cars racing in the dirt?
I’m starting to see why there is so much fuss,
Dude, check out the pig with the ginormous nuts.

I’m having a good time, Wes-I-Am!
I’m even rocking out to the Buckinghams!
It’s much more much fun when you don’t have to work,
No dealing with the freeloaders and loud mouth jerks.

I ate two things of cheese curds and didn’t get sick,
I ate six! Six pork chops on stick!
Dude in a mullet, man that’s some sweet hair,
Wes, I’m think I’m starting to like the State Fair.

I do!

I like the Iowa State Fair!

And I would go, could go during a storm,
I would go could go if it was a little warm.
I will get my Hawkeye poster and do the carnie rides,
How could I have doubted fun on the Eastside!
I will go would there even with tobacco to chew,
I could only hope I could go with Elizabeth Shue.
I would go to the Fair on any chance,
I would go there in my Nantucket Red pants.
I would go to see all the animals and critters,
I would go and eat two or three more pork fritters!
I would go could go everyday,
I’d even consider going there with John Elway.
How could I hate this with so many blinders?
How could I dislike anything that serves guinea grinders?
I have to admit Wes, the State Fair is great,
I’ll even drink the big beers for dollars of eight!
The mix of the crowd is so eclectic,
The State Fair is do I dare say, epic.

Wes-I-am, you are a good friend,
Fun like the Fair should never end.
You changed my mind, I changed my stand,
Thank you, Thank you, Wes-I-Am.

The State Fair started... I hate it, I think...

Jeez Lousie... you say one bad Tweet about the State Fair and it's like I said something bad about someone's mother. I know... I'm weird, but I think I can explain... and maybe ther is hope for me that will please the State Fair maniacs.

PEOPLE FREAK OUT - When I tell them this. As a loyal reader told me, "Crappy food, booze, politicians, John Deere, live tunes. What's not to love?" I reply back with, "I hate the Fair." Then the loyal reader says, "I think I'm sad to hear you say that. It breaks a little piece of my heart. The happiest guy around, hates the Fair." That hit a little home for me. Yeah man, the Fair should totally be my schtick. I mean all of the stuff mentioned above. It's on the Eastside. I used to have a mullet. This would seem like a G$ paradise. But... after thinking about it. I figured out why I hate the fair.

STUPID POLITICS - Urgh... so... like for 10 years or so... I had to work the GOP booth. And a lot of times... multiple days. It's too much. This is what broke me on the fair. Listen, working a shift, one shift is great. But numerous days... and people wanting free shit... here's where I lose it...

Random Mooch: Hey, is this pen free, bud?
Me: No, numb nuts. I'm using it to register you and others to vote.
Random Mooch: Awe man... Now I'm not voting for you now.
Me: Really, because you didn't get a free pen?
Random Mooch: Yea, bud. Everything else is free.
Me: Oh well, uh... I hear they're testing tack hammers around the corner. They're giving away free hits in the head.
Random Mooch: Cool, bud. I'll check it out. Thanks, bud!
Me: Sigh....

Yeah. Adds to the hate. Every year I'd work it... I would have a buddy call, "Hey man! Hitting the Bud Tent around 6, you in?" I'll be like, "Sure, that's when my shift is done. In." Then 6 rolls around. I just go home. Yes. I skipped out on beer. I know. Disturbing. But... seriously. Too burnt out on the Fair for beer. See, told you. Not good.

MORE STUFF I DISLIKE - On top of the just working... it's usually hot. I got sick from being to hot there a time or two. Yes. Drink more water, got it. I'm a cold weather guy I guess. Then... stuff is expensive. Especially when you're there multiple days... to work it. I know, these are small bitches... but just adds to it.

STUFF I DO LIKE - I guess hate is too strong of a word. I mean... the food is awesome... the beer, always ice cold. I used to set a corn dog and pork chop budget. And I totally had a great time at the Journey concert way back when. I alwaysscore decent Hawkeye gear and posters from the U of I booth. So there are things I like.

I HAVE SOMETHING SHOCKING TO ADMIT - So many of you know. I kind of have a street cred on knowing stuff around here. I can name every county and their county seat. Tell you the good small town joints and bars to hit. Places you must see. But, I'll admit. Never seen the Butter Cow... you know... and the other must see things. I have seen the big pig with the huge menards... I bet he has a very high self esteem with thems things. So yea... I guess... I've never really done the Fair.

MAYBE THERE IS HOPE FOR ME AND THE FAIR - I have taken a break from the Fair since leaving politics. I just don't go... and I say I hate it. It's a very childish notion. It's like when I used to not eat mushrooms... and said I hate them. Simply because I never tried them. Maybe... just maybe I should just go to the Fair. Give it a legit shot. I mean... there's all sorts of G$-ish things that I would dig... I don't have to work it... I may even enjoy it. I mean... one of my favorite oldies bands is playing it this year... the Buckinghams... so maybe...

Hmm.... Maybe this could be my very own Sam I Am moment...

Alright. I will give it a shot. I'm going to do the Fair. But I need experienced peeps help. Seriously guys, I've never done the thing. Just worked. Who want's to go with me? Who has the tips of things I gotta hit?

Hit up the comment section... and stay thirsty my friends.

Flood Coverage via the Book of Faces

For you non locals and non ISU peeps, this is Stange Ave in Ames. Photo ripped off from Swany's Facebook Mobile Uploads this morning.

Hearing some disturbingly familiar news coming out of Ames this morning. Please send some good vibes up North and everyone else dealing with this mess. I got tons of family and friends up there. From a few updates from them. All seem to be alright. Just too soggy and can't get around town so well. But everyone is safe.

As I said, the pictures from Ames are familiar to what happened in 1993. Kind of freaky, but last week I was just looking at the line in the Scheman Building of where the water levels were in '93. My guess is its about there right now.

If there is anything to call "cool" at times like these compared to '93, is there are hundreds of reports on the floods via social media. Here's what a few of my peeps are saying about Ames and other flooding via Facebook statuses this morning...

"Yes that's 9.10 inches of rain in the last 24 hours folks."

"I've begun rationing Sun Chips...just in case..."

"Good think I have a Kayak! I may need it!"

"Rain washes out practice at the Jewell Golf course--will be practicing at the high school today (10:00) and Friday (9:00)--swimming is good exercise but not on a cross country course. Can it rain anymore around here--need some dry time!"

"spent the morning on a date with a wet vac in the basement"

"Any suggestions on how to get to Des Moines today? Might be an adventure."

"Giving a shout out to my sump pumps today as I watched all of my neighbors pumping water out of their basements"

"Prayers to the MANY people who are flooded, stuck because of the flood or are just trying to get home and aren't able...prayers for dry days and a quick and painless clean up. You can always by more things...but you can't replace the people you love...stay safe!"

"Beer trucks pulled from Ames today. I guess that is a good indication of how bad it is up there."

"And I-35 south of Ames is now closed, just peachy."

"too bad i live in north ames and was able to make it to work today"

"Seems like Armageddon around here...all major roads are closed around Ames and people are freaking out; yelling, screaming and honking at others on the road. Seems the only feasible means of transportation is on our bike. Couldn't even make it to daycare as all roads leading to are closed."

"Keeping everyone affected by the floods in our thoughts, especially those up in Ames."

"So and so called me and told me Des Moines better brace for more water. Lots of flooding up north and the Raccoon River is higher than he's ever seen it...and he's been around that river his entire life!"

"OK, so they have revised the forcasted crest down to 19.5' instead of 23'...still a mess, but not quite epic! I've now been up for almost 28 hours....time to shower and get some sleep...and then still golf tonight :)"

"Here's hoping that folks down home in Osky, Eddyville, and Cedar/Fremont can dry out today!"

Hope everyone is doing alright. Keep sending good vibes to those who need them. Just a quick thought that hit me while reading these this morning... per usual here... in the face of disasters, Iowans are as cool as the other side of the pillow. Bringing some humor to the situation, thoughts/prayers to those in need... and just dealing with it. Because that's how we roll in the literal Midwest Coast.

What'd You Do This Weekend?

Hell yes QCI-ders! What a weekend! It was probably the first weekend in a while where I had no real responsibilities. Meaning… didn’t have to be places for work or important family functions. Just a little weekend full of just fun.

GOOD FRIENDS, GOOD TIMES – So hung with my pals this weekend. It was like we were all 19 or something again. And… it was the first time I’ve attended a good ole fashioned kegger. Well… not traditional in a sense. We’re all old and stuff now. But here’s how Saturday starts with a phone call from a great pal mine.

[cell phone buzzes]

ME: What up?
MY BUDDY: [sings epic riff] Master! Master!
ME: [singing] Oh yeahh… KILL!
MY BUDDY: [sings epic riff from One]
ME: What up Homey Jomey from Wyoming?
MY BUDDY: Hey Money... Guess what I just bought?
ME: Special vinyl edition of Metallica?
MY BUDDY: Nah man, its aluminum. It has a pump. And it shines.
ME: Dude… for real?
MY BUDDY: [signing opening riff for Harvester of Sorrow]
ME: [singing] du dawh du du dut… dut dawh du dut dut….. ALL HAVE said their prayers! INVADE their nightmares!
MY BUDDY: HA HAWWWW YEAH!!!!
ME: Shut the front door!
MY BUDDY: I don’t joke about things like this.
ME: Dude, you tap it yet?
MY BUDDY: Dude, why do you think I’m calling you?
ME: Dude…
MY BUDDY: In?
ME: You had me at hello.

So it was on. And yes… per my pal’s wife… She was like, “He was like a kid in candy store when we picked up.”

WHY KEGS OF BEER ARE EPIC – We gather out west at my buddies house. Keg is tapped and then… showing our age… we begin to talk about the last kegger we attended. Because we are old… it seemed like ages ago. Then an epic discussion about kegs begins. The street cred you get when buy a keg. Especially when you’re in a suburban super market and all the other dudes are holding their wife/girlfriend’s purse… you just go to the customer service counter and say it… and of course, because you’re a bad ass…you say it a little bit louder so that many can hear you…

“Excuse me. I would like a keg of beer.”

You hear the other dudes at the store whisper under their breath…

“Hell yes.” “Bas ass.” “Man, I wish I could buy a keg of beer.” “Lucky.” “Hmmm keg.”

As we are yaking it up in the backyard. Playing some bags and washers… my pal comes up with the brilliant thought of what a keg can do to your day.

“Dude, there’s just something about it. When you’re at the store… The dude from the liquor department takes you to the back. Then wheels your keg through the store. Everyone notices you. Then he wheels it all the way out to your car. You just feel important. There’s a satisfaction you show to your fellow man. Yes dudes, I just bought a keg of beer.”

My buddy puts things in ways so that I can understand them.

THE GREAT KEG DEBATE – Of course… this always happens. How many beers are in a keg? What’s funny no one knows the true answer. There’s many different factors if you are trying to be accurate about it. Foam. What kind of cups. House Cups. Spillage. Keg stands. Topping it off. So many things. It’s like when you ask the owl how many licks does it take to get to the center of aTootsie Pop… the world may never know.

MAN UP – After long discussions… then there comes the taking it back part. What if you still have beer in it the next day? Do you have a Hair of the Dog gathering? Since we’re old we figure that’s usually out. Thus… you gotta kill the thing that night. Or else… creating a trail of tears in the morning… when you simply drain the rest in the yard. Because… of a couple of things.

1. There’s no way you’re gonna return a keg with a good amount still left.

2. There’s no way you’re gonna let the teenage punk at customer service give you the judgingly dirty look that you just returned a keg with beer still left in it.

Just like the sense of pride there is in the beginning… pride is on the line when you finish.

SO YEAH – We had a great time as always… and to rip off a bit from our pal Flyover Foodie… UNFORESEEN BONUS! When peeps ask you… “So what did you do this weekend?” You get the awesomeness answer. “I went to a kegger. What’d you do?” The person will probably look at the ground and say, “Oh, I went to see Inception with the GF. It was cool.” Then… you gotta help make ‘em feel better. “Yeah man, I heard that was cool.” But secretly you know and they know… they have been defeated. Just remember to invite them along next time.

So yeah keggers are epic. Care to share some kegger memories? Leave a comment… and crank this! YEAAAAAAAH!!!!!! Stay thirsty my friends.

Who will be the next Ken Mehlman?

Here’s a post to start a little bit of debate and to get you all thinking about the future of the party… 2012 and beyond.

It’s August and this is Iowa. For the past week or so… politically, my brain has been in strategery over drive. It’s almost the 11th anniversary of the 1999 Ames Straw Poll. We’re gearing up for “the real general election.” It looks to be a good Republican year. I ‘ve been reading Karl Rove’s book. The “I might be a 2012 candidate” types are coming to the cornfields. Silently, these camps are forming. Lately, I’ve been hanging out and exchanging long phone calls/texts with my ole Bush pals. Then Politico had a great article on the “Top Gets for 2012.” Smooshing all of that together in my head… I came up with this question… Who is going to be the next Ken Mehlman?

THE MEHLMANIAN ERA – I think we are nearing the end this era as it comes to political operations in our party. Naturally, because of change and those who have been in this system are beginning to move on to consulting or the private sector. But like the many greats before Ken, he has left his impact. It’s safe to say that from here on out all campaigns (if they plan to be successful) will have many Mehlmanian aspects to them

What makes a campaign, Mehlmanian?

Working your ass off. Commitment to grassroots politics. Steely eyed focused targeting. Setting goals and measuring results. Comraderie and loyalty. A sense of service to the party and the candidates we work for. Oh… and having a lot of fun doing all of the above. As a former colleague put to me the other day, the Mehlman model is simply setting streamlined goals and keeping a microscopic eye on results. This wasn’t really a new idea in campaigns. But Ken and his crew took this to high level of demanding results for every single aspect of the campaign. Getting a campaign to stop doing things, just for doing them.

A good example was with some of the Coalitions efforts. In the past chairs and leaders were recruited for every coalition. Farmers and Ranchers, Sportsmen, Veterans… give ‘em titles and put out a release. But now, everyone in the organization had goals with specific action items that could be tracked with simple Microsoft Excel sheet formulas. Now, you were not only getting more out of the work you did, but you could see what was happening in a tangible way so the tweaks could be make to the program along the way... thus being more successful.

THE START OF THE NEW STANDARD - This era began in 1999 when Ken made it to Iowa as Regional Political Director for Bush for President. He basically moved here and definitely earned his honorary Iowan status. From the Team Leader Program… to targeted lists... and many successes. Ken became the standard. I got a front seat to watch, work and observe the beginning of an era that changed the game for political operatives - forever. He took a team with now many familiar names, Sara Taylor and Scott Stanzel just to start, and then the development off this era began.

The Bush Team Leader program, phone banks with specific targets and of course the first set of spreadsheets to measure our results… it was building. We won in Iowa and the first group of Mehlmanites swarmed the other primary states. All practicing the things we built in Iowa, at Ken’s direction, the program and the definition of a Mehlmanian Campaign was being written. George W. Bush became President of the United States and Mehlman would now bring this model to the RNC. The Mehlmanian style would be spread to every single state and produce historic results.

WHY KEN WAS SUCCESSFUL – If we are going to figure out who the next Mehlman is… let’s explain why he was so successful and why we need to find the next one. Ken is a leader, in all aspects. Here’s the “this goes without saying” part. Dude is brilliant. Always thinking. Working hard, but working smart. But, in my opinion, the thing that made him successful was his ability to connect with anyone he came in contact with. This is what makes him great. From a Bush Farm Chair in Worth County, to the high rolling donor, to young green staffers (like I was) and inspiring entire staffs across the country. Ken just connected and was genuine doing so. Every time I see him he still asks, “Hey, how’s A-Money doing?” In reference to how’s my brother is doing.

He could read what motivated you and stepped back to let you achieve your goals... So long as you turned in your spreadsheets on time :). If you worked under Ken, you were lucky to hear and receive a Mehlman Pep Talk. And I’m telling ya guys, if you weren’t fired up to run through concrete walls after you heard it, your pilot light was out.

He is just one of those leaders like great football coaches. By Ken being Ken, he got the absolute most out of every single player.

THE MEHLMAN COACHING TREE – Like in the NFL, the Greats always have disciples and great success stories from the people surrounded by them. This is Mehlman Legacy. His coaching tree spreads all over the Country. Many have moved on to big things and successful campaigns. Like I said before, most are now getting to the consulting side of the game. This is why I believe we’re near the end of the Mehlmanian Era. His legacy will always be the standard and still impact every single day of any campaign. But with a new cycle on the horizon I believe a new era is about to unfold.

GEARING UP FOR 2012 – As I said, this is Iowa. Or as I refer to it, “The Hollywood of Politics.” This is where political operatives and the next “greats” get discovered. Sorry New Hampshire but it's true. From loyal sons and daughters of the Hawkeye State… to bright eyed, eager out of staters… this is where you go to cut your teeth and be discovered. Case in point? See the current Obama administration and the Bush 43 White House. At one point the Bush White House Political Department back in 2001 looked like our office out in Clive in ’99. “So what does this mean, G$?” Hang on, I’m getting to it.

Politico’s article on the “Best Gets for 2012” epitomizes the whole idea that this cycle has already begun. Others have been swooped up already for “Leadership PACs”. I know a lot of the listed in the “Best Gets.” Some very well, some just by conference calls or trainings along the way. Are these people the next Ken Mehlman? No. Now, before you send me your hate mail. I’m not knocking these people. They are the best. Smart. Uber-accomplished. Many have stemmed from the Mehlman Coaching Tree. All have their niches, strengths and talents that most wish they had a fifth of.

These folks have built reputations and legends of their own. They will all be leading different camps. And one of these people will lead the campaign to the general. But they won’t be able to leave an impact the size that Ken did. Why? These people already have their shticks. They are already trading on their own names. In one of these 2012 campaigns, there will be a person who will be the day-to-day cog that leads all to victory. The next Mehlman. “So G$, if these kids aren’t the next Ken, who is it?”

THE NEXT MEHLMAN – My answer? We haven’t even heard of he or she’s name yet. My prediction is that he or she will come up in a similar way that Ken did. Leaving a post from some Congressional office. Jumping on a campaign… moving to Iowa… moving up from a Regional Political Director of a young campaign… to becoming the Chairman of the RNC. Will it be the same path for the future Mehlman? Of course not. But this is recipe of the next grassroots political legend that is to come.

This person will take the lessons learn from the Mehlmanian Era and combine them with what we learned from the 2008 Obama campaign. The next Mehlman will have this ability to utilize the ever changing technologies with good ole fashioned grassroots neighbor-to-neighbor politics. And when this happens, hold on to your hats kids.

If we are to be successful as a party in this decade we should, and I hope candidates have an eye open, for the next Ken Mehlman. While no one is ever the same as the greats, this person will be the great on their own name… and when that happens… we’ll start a new era of success.

Anyone have ideas on who it will be? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments and as always… stay thirsty my friends.

Sucka Emcees Can't See Me...

Holy eff dudes. Where the hell is this Summe going? Anyone else think this one is going fast? Dayam.

Anyways. It's been a while... So I decided I would do a randomish... type of camp update... you know like... how's the Summer going... for the Summer of Epic... oh and a little house cleeaning procedures here at QCI.

So... in no particular order of stuff...

BUICK WEEK - Holy crap man... so awesome. #goodjoboutofyou to my Dad and his crew for putting on an awesome, awesome event up in Ames this week. The highlight was Friday. Freaking. Amazing. I have never seen my hometown packed like that. 250 plus classic Buicks in Downtown Jewell. And from talkng to the Buick folks... it was the best time they have had these national meets. A lot of people from across North America found out, I've known for years. Jewell rules.

EPIC FOOD WEEK - I gotta tell ya. Are you paying attention Flyover Foodie? HOT DISH! So dudes... had a ton of sweet corn this past week. FTW! Got to celebrate the good stuff from back home. From basically pork everything... tenderloin, chops and yes... my favorite, pork burgers. Then, epic turkey... from God's Country. We have a ton of turkey producers back home. Here's a quick fact... if you order a turkey sandwich from Subway... 9 times out of 1o... it came from Southern Hamilton County. #goodjoboutofyou Mark Dorenbush and crew for great turkey uptown. Oh... and we serve over a ton of corn up in Jewell Friday. Off. The. Chain.

HICKORY PARK - Yes... I even hit that up. Yes... I have said it's kind of over rated. That's just because, I'm from there. While entertaining peeps from out of town... I utilized a new saying for you all... "When in Rome, do what the Romans do. If you're from Rome, entertain the guests." Hickory Park is still great. Never had a bad meal there... for the record. But there are other great joints... just wish O'Malley and McGee's was still around. I and many others from the area miss that joint.

POLITICS - Not sure if there's much to report... I mean... it's freaking August. New ads are going up... most of them beating the shit out of each other. I know this is nessesary... but... sometimes... I just wish on both sides... they could tell a story why their candidate is great. Not why the other sucks. This goes for both sides. But, it is what it is.

QCI BOOK CLUB? Hmmmm... maybe. A loyal reader asked what I have been reading this Summer. So here it is.... In the middle of the Karl Rove book. It's awesome. Finished the Dick Vermeil biography earlier this summer... and started to read... for the 6th time, Why We Suck by Denis Leary. I still LOL while reading it. Did I really just type LOL? Sigh... gonna pick up Game Change next. Heard it's like crack cocaine for political junkies. Like the good stuff from over seas. Not the stuff that's cut here. Yeah... not making Coke references? Uh... well... I guess.

AND FINALLY... More stuff... have an epic thought on 2012 that you might enjoy. Stay thirsty my friends... and a crank this awesome from the 90's...

Girl you know it's true... Peace and Chicken Grease...

So... just had a conversation after while heading home from the office.... epic conversations lead to epic ideas... thus leading to my bird brain idea of the day.

I think I figured out how to bring a little peace to our society. Something that may even save lives... you know keeping people from wanted to kill people... so here it is...

Alright... the idea stemmed from a conversation on war stories of poor service... usually from fast food joints... but then we started talking about other places and businesses who... let's face it... some days peeps just mail it in. You know?

Sometime this idea is a little foreign to me. I've always been at places where I enjoy what I'm doing, the people I work with... and really like working with the peeps. But I know there are many who are like John Lovetts working as a waiter in the 5 Timers Club, "Hey, work is work."

But then we started talking a little bit. Then it hit me... the 2 Percent Rule. Whoah. What is it?

It's simple... if we could possibly get everyone to at least take 2 percent of their day to give a shit... how epic would everything be? Think about it. How awesome would our country become.

Let's go back to the dude at the fast food joint... just 2% of his time there... to actually give a shit... things become more awesome. I like extra pickles sometimes on a burger. I will gladly pay for it... now... if the fast food kid is practicing the 2% rule? He'll be like, "Dude, I'm effing going 2 percent on this guy. Man, make sure you put extra pickles on that thang!"

See what I'm saying? If we could get everyone... at the very least... to give 2% of his day to actually give a shit about what they are doing... man, there would be all sorts of love, peace and chicken grease to go around.

Chew on that for a while. Hit me up with some comments... and yes... we're doing Milli Vanilli for the second time this week. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I'm awesome. Stay thirsty my friends.