Mullet Watch 2009: Drawing inspiration from a legend...

Hey QCI-ders... good job out of you for staying tuned to the madness taking place this week.

While reading these tributes can be very humbling... sometimes you gotta get back to the roots of the cause. Mainly... because Jared Allen... one of my favorite former Chiefs (DAMN YOU CARL PETERSON)... Wait...

Side note.... yes, King Carl did give the speech for Derrick Thomas in Canton... I am even saying it was touching... so Carl, you earned a few points back... but we will never forgive you for the Jared Allen trade... this is what Chiefs fans across the world are missing... take it away Mr. Allen.

Anyways... yea man... he is such a bad ass... I mean... many of you have asked... and some even said, "I don't get it." How can you not get it when you watch the swagger and awesomeness of Jared Allen... I mean, "Sleeves optional" For reals... that should be a sign on the doors of 801 Grand... Let's take you down memory lane here... Here he explains it all. Here's a little chat with with #69 (yes... he's so f'ing bad ass his number is 69... heheheh)

Mullet Watch 2009

So as many of you know, the Mullet is happening. Interestingly enough though... getting emails, texts and calls about the progress of the greatness. The current movement is to perm the mullet... (holy crap, I could be the "big perm")... anyways... Many of you are telling its time to trim up the front... make it more business like... true dat. But for now... the mullet won't be revealed.

Meaning, by revealing it... the front gets shorter.

Ok... after reading what I just typed, I think this mullet thing is getting out of hand... out of hand if you mean AWESOME!!!! Mullet fever has swept onto the hearts of QCI-ders everywhere. Even the mullet haters... are beginning to accept it... and giving tips... like, what kind of conditioner works best.

We all know there are a million different mullets out there... and well, at the State Fair... but I thought I would post some pics of what mullet I'm exactly going for...

I guess right now... you could say that the mullet (although not as long in the back like this picture) is similar to this one as worn by James Hetfield.

Notice the mean ass facial hair...

I mean it kind of completes the look....

More on that in a sec... but I mean, if you're going to rock the Greatest Haircut in American History... you might as well get some ques from the greatest. Band. Ever. Just sayin'...

Next picture really is the inspiration of the whole entire thing. This whole idea wouldn't have happened... if it wasn't for one of my all time favorite players... yes Jared Allen. (Carl Peterson, may God have mercy on your soul for your horrible decision to trade him. Because I don't have any for you.) I mean look at that thing. High and tight on the sides... racing stripes... awesome... very similar to the one I rocked as a youngster. It's almost perfect in a way...

So there you have it.

While we're at it... let's go to the QCI video archives and bust out some awesomeness from Jared Allen. Pretty much if QCI made a video with Jared Allen... it would turn out exactly like this. Only exception... there would be a Metallica video referenced somewhere...



Oh and I completely agree with you with Kokomo... you know QCI would never leave out the Beach Boys...

Zombies? Soviets? State Chair Race? Oh My!!!

IF YOU NEED YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT – You don’t need to see the dude from Indiana Jones… you just have to be a Chiefs fan. Seriously yo… I thought being a Hawkeye fan was bad for your mental health… nope… it’s being a Chiefs fan. But now it’s kind of expected now that they will disappoint you… kind of like going to Old Country Buffet. Sounds like an awesome idea… until you get there… eat… and well, then you are disappointed.
STATE CHAIR RACE ROLLS ALONG – So, QCI-ders have been following along with this race… just like everyone else in the Rightosphere. To paraphrase Tim Russert, “Technology, technology, technology.” And it appears that Matt Strawn is dominating this aspect of the debate. Eastern Iowa Conservative was first to talk about it. Then the FlyBoys in their latest dose of the dope. D-Chung is chirping… and the patriots at Iowa Defense are following the buzz. While Krusty is impressed… he’s staying tuned. And McCroskey offers a scorecard over on the good ship FlyBoy. While it’s freaking cold out… look for this thing to get red hot…
QCI MOVIE ALERT – Will we bust out the Movie Mongol? Hmmm... Anyone else out there excited to see The Wrestler? Hell yes man. We wouldn’t be all El Camino if we weren’t into a heart warming story about professional wrestling. Plus, it has Marisa Tomei in it… which could possibly be #2 on the all time “Will Never Happen G$” Crush list, behind Ms. Shue of course.

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY
“So and so… is pumped that Bobby scored last night!”

OK… this status would be ten times more funnier if you didn’t know this person was talking about hockey. Wait… oh… now I get it now…

QUITE POSSIBLY THE COOLEST SITE EVER – So, we thinks we’ve found our favorite website of all time. You guessed it… Jared Allen’s personal website. Also, if you are looking for a last minute Christmas gift for the editor of the World’s Crappiest Blog… here’s a place to start.
HAWKEYE AWESOMENESS FACTS OF THE DAY – Not only is Shonn Greene the best running back in the country… but it looks like Iowa State will taking one giant leap backward in their football program. Also… look for the Ballad of Gene Chizik to be #1 on Billboard this week.

AND FINALLY… Here’s the new video from Metallica to get your inner Cold War fired up.

The Blogs Are Scorching Hot

If the Iowa Rightosphere (love that name Deeth!) was burning when we posted yesterday… then today, it’s scorching… like scorching hot like my girl Elizabeth Shue… (hearts!) But enough about crushes and never happens… let’s get to the scorching randomnous of the day!

BECAUSE… I’M FEELIN’ KINDA SATURDAY… (sing along) “Feelin’ like Saturday…” A little paraphrase of a Nancy and Frank classic. Well QCI-ders… All eyes on 621 East 9th this weekend. Also, did you know…

THE IOWA RIGHTOSPHERE IS CHAR BROILED – So here we are the day before the big meeting. And the blogs are chirping. The undisputed heavyweight champion of the blogs, Hershel Krustofski, has been dumping gasoline. Let’s do a rundown… First, Krusty digs into the arcives with a letter… enter Sunshine and the gang at Battleground… which spurred a call to action from the Iowa Defense Alliance… This would be enough for a good summary post… but if you dump gas on a fire… your gonna get more than a spark. Turn on the air raid horn, ‘cause here comes the FlyBoys. Speaking fires… you know the burn pile back at the farm? Well, it spread into the fields… the Al over at IDA give a quick update… so alirght… cool… get ready for the results of the meeting on Saturday, right? WRONG. Krusty starts a history lesson today. Here. Here. And here. Finally… for now at least… Battleground asks the question of the day, via information HK served up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 21ST AMENDMENT – Woo HOO!!! In case you didin’t know… today is one of my favorite Constitutional moments in history. I can see all of you rolling your eyes… and some of you being brought to tears. I think this calls for a stop at Flanny’s… see you there later.
FREEDOM MULLET – Ok… so the voting is continuing on the Mullet Watch 2009. The are cheers and there are jeers. On one side, there’s big “hells yeas!” On the other, “hells nos.” Enter the patron saint of the World’s Crappiest Blog to chime in with this quick video… it’s not that long… so it’s a must see video of the day.



QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY
“So and so… sayz G--Just grow the mullet, and perhaps throw in a pair of side chops while you're at it?"

Hmmm… Hetfield style?

SOMETHING TO SOLVE YOUR FOOTBALL FIX THIS WEEKEND – Y’all know about UNI this weekend… but if you are looking for another great game… check out the Northwest Missouri State Bearcats at 3:00pm on ESPN 2. They are playing North Alabama for the right to make it to the championship. “What’s with Northwest Missouri G$?” My bro is a former 2 time National Champion with the NWMSU Bearcat football team.
THE LITTLE H-MAN IS A FAN – A little programing note for you loyal readers this weekend. As the drama builds over at 621 East 9th (although… it probably won’t)… I’ll be hitting the road for my nephew Harrison’s (the Little H-Man) baptism… and to catch the Northwest game with my favorite Bearcats… have no worries… QCI always has love and will travel… stay tuned to this weekend. Or as the Little H-Man would say, “Yo, QCI-ders… check out Uncle G$’s Crappy Blog this weekend… I do everyday!” You heard the kid. Do it!

It was going to happen… all signs pointed to it. QCI is now in official mourning mode.

Per John Clayton at ESPN.com:

Late Tuesday night, the Chiefs and the Vikings reached an agreement on a trade package, and at roughly the same time, Allen reached an agreement in principle on a contract with the Vikings. Upon reaching the contract agreement, Allen headed to the airport and left for Minnesota.

I’m trying not to be Debbie Downer and be all sad. Let’s remember the good times. The famous hog tie celebrations, the break out 15.5 sack season… or when introduced on Sunday Night Football (say your name and school) Jared said, “Jared Allen, homeschooled, thanks Mom!”

Although now the Chiefs are poised to “rule the draft” this year, for some reason to me personally, it still doesn’t feel right. I know I will accept it better once we get our 14 some picks this Saturday and when Allen puts on his new jersey. Put I guess you just have to let the pain hurt for a while... sometimes, its alright to let it hurt. Guess it's time to say good bye...

Jared,

You’ll be wearing purple… and wearing #69 on your jersey… but you’ll always be #1 in our hearts. Thank you for making the bad times (4-12) in the Chiefs Kingdom, great times.

When you're moving your stuff from KC to the Twin Cities and need a quick pit stop, there will always be a cold one waiting for you at Flanagan's.

Best of luck and be good to yourself.

Your Pal,
G$

PS to QCI-ders- Yes, this means I will quit crying and posting about #69. Because I know you care.

And now… for the last time on QCI, here’s Jared Allen and the most powerful mullet in the National Football League…

Here’s a little commentary from loyal reader “Ainsley’s Dad about the current situation with Jared Allen. I think he makes a little sense… but I’m still not going to be happy about it. Call me crazy, but I think Jared looks way better in red than he would in purple. Take it away Adam…

Dudes-

Jared Allen is my favorite Chief. I love Jared like I loved Bo Jackson in a house full of Chief fans. Not since #58 have we had a more fan appealing defensive player. I was asked to write this essay on the pros and cons of keeping Jared or trading him.

First the Pros:
1. Jared will fill the seats. No matter how bad the the o-line will hinder us, Jared will be bringing the pain.
2. No matter what happens, Jared's motor will be running. If he doesn't get traded, he will be pissed off and trying to prove himself again. Not since Vermeil told Larry to take off the diapers, have we seen the kind of anger that Jared brings.
3. Currently Jared is the leading the league in sacks with 15.5 and coming off a pro bowl season it would be nice to get another 15+
4. Jared is the one thing keeping us from calling this year a rebuilding year. With LJ on one side and Jared on the other it is hard to say we are in a rebuilding year.

Now for the cons:
Remember: although I am using some of the thoughts of King Carl, I in no way am defending that POS! It is Carl’s fault we haven’t had such a great run the last 10 years.

1. Having a player in the locker room that does not want to be there is bad for all the rookies we will be bringing in.
2. Jared is coming off of his break out year. Since he is healthy he is worth at least a round 1 and round 2 or 3 pick. Why not get a 2 for one special. If Jared is injured this year we are out a lot of money and no other players. If we trade him we have a chance at 2 players.
3. I know Jared is on one full year of staying out of trouble but the Chiefs are offering 8.8 million and a 20-30 signing bonus. That is life changing money. I don't care what the price is for a beer in Westport, I think he can cover any tab with that kind of money.
4. I can only think of a few D-ends that put in 5+ solid years and hit pro bowls for most of them. I am reminded of the Neil Smiths and the Reggie Whites of the world. Jared is not at this level yet. Today D-ends last about 5-7 years, if they get a few pro bowls great. Let’s not give big contract to a guy in his 4th season. If we sign Jared to a 5 year deal all he has to do is show up. Like LJ what is the drive to get up in the morning and play with some pain.

I think most sports fans in the KC area know how to handle rebuilding years. The Royals have been rebuilding for 20+ now and as long as they still have buck night and George Brett t-shirt night the stands will be full.

Most of us would love to say that if we keep Jared our season is going to be saved. Not true, if we keep Jared we will go 8-8 and miss a chance at a couple of good prospects. Let's drop Jared and soot for 4-12. I know I can handle 4-12 if I know it is leading to a 12-4 season in 3-4 years.