Early Afternoon News and Notes Dump...

Alright here's an early afternoon Election Day news and notes dump... hahaha... dump.

I HAVE AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY - Dudes... been dialing for freedom the past week over at the Victory HQ... And here's something I'm figuring out... there is a good amount of households in the State of Iowa who have yet to hear about this technology called, answering machines. Freaking answering machines. Dudes, now hear me out... there's a goldmine here. Answering Machine Stores in every strip mall across the state. Think about. We will be rich, bitches!

SO GOOD SO FAR - Hearing good things out there... Getting word that precincts where we want high turnouts... are big big turnouts. And from three poll watcher who just dropped in... say that the same day registrations have been all Republican... and 1 indy... Wave? Yeah, wave.

FOR YOU SOUTH HAMMY ELITISTS OUT THERE - I have recieved a few emails from proud South Hamilton High School grads who are a little concerned with Branstad voting this morning in of all places, Ogden... I know, Ogden... But let me set the record straight. He lives in rural Boone County and has a Boone address. He does not live in Ogden. The record is clear. But three cheers for some good ole fashioned Heart of Iowa Conference smack. #goodjoboutofyou

More to come... Stay thirsty....

Election thoughts from John Madden...

We still have some stuff for ya... we are glad to have received some election analysis from legendary NFL Coach and Epic Football analyst, John Madden... per a phone call received by one of crack team of reporters... John Madden just dropped this knowledge...

"You see, the key to this election and every election... is first, you gotta get supporters, then you get all of the supporters to vote for you... but then... you have to have more supporters than the other guy... and finally you have to turn out more of your supporters out to vote than the other guy... that's how you win."

Take notice staffers... I hope you all wrote that down.

BREAKING... more races called and a DEVELOPING STORY...

* * * * BREAKING NEWS * * * *

We are trying to keep up with all of data our crack team of pollsters and news team is sending us.... But we are ready to call some more races here in the Hawkeye State....

SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE and STATE AUDITOR...

Base on real clear data, with ZERO precincts reporting... AND the fact that no one could even come up with the names of their opponents...

QCI is ready to call the races for Secretary of Ag and State Auditor...

Bill Northey has been re-elected... And the only CPA in the race... Dave Vaudt has been re-elected.

* * * DEVELOPING STORY * * *

A developing story coming out of Republican Victory Centers across the state... Staffers and key volunteers are telling us... they aren't gonna eat pizza for a very long long time. The pizza delivery industry is monitoring these developments...

Stay thirsty...

BREAKING - We are calling it...

PA POW!!!!!!!!!

*** B R E A K I N G N E W S ***

Our news team is ready to call the race for United State Senate here in the epic state of Iowa.

With ZERO, I repeat, ZERO precincts reporting... Chuck Grassley has been re-elected.

Congrats, sir.

More reports coming in. Stay thirsty

PREDICTION ALERT - Surprise!

We know there is a wave coming... and its hitting hard. Been asked the last few days... what is the big surprise?

The Iowa Legislature....

The House is going R... big time. Word on the street is... and I'm as serious as a dry keg 2 hours before kickoff at Kinnick... Watch Pat Murphy's seat. While was door knocking his district... by himself... his opponent has an army.

But that's not my surprise of tonight.... The Iowa Senate. Will is tilt R? Hmmmm... we're going with 25-25 split.... You heard it here first. Remember we are a legit news source. For reals.

More to come. Stay thirsty my friends.